Reflections - Break My Heart for What Breaks Yours

Oh Thursday Reflection time, I missed you!  It was nice to be unplugged for a week, but I realized that two weeks is just too long to go without this time.  And I was welcomed back with this verse to meditate one:

"If you claim to be religious but don't  control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.  Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you."  -James 1:26-27

A few things stick out to me here... the first being the word "claim" vs. the word "caring."  It's the difference in stating that we are Christians and actually being the hands and feet of Jesus and doing the work of the Lord.  It's like this... my husband is in the last month of training for an IronMan triathlon right now.  For those of you not familiar, this is a 2 mile swim followed by a 112 bike ride followed by a 26.2 mile run all in a row.  This will take him somewhere in the ballpark of 15 hours, and many people attempt it and don't finish.  He has been training for over six months, buying and reading books on training plans, gear, and nutrition.  He gets his bike tuned up, he fuels his body with the right things, and is spending up to 20 hours a week sometimes working out.  So what's my point?  Well, he's equipping himself to do well at this event.  He could "claim" to be an IronMan without actually doing the race and people would probably believe him.  Or, he could even read all of this information and not apply it, not train, and just show up and try to wing it and be miserable.  For so many of us, that is what our Christian walks have been.  We "claim" to be a Christian and people obviously believe us, but what we do on a day to day basis does not show that.  We might even read the Bible, but we don't live it out by serving others daily, showing compassion, helping those in need, and spreading the Gospel.  As Josh would say, "sitting in a pew on Sunday mornings makes you no more of a Christian than sitting in my garage makes you my jeep."  We can do all of the acts of what we think is expected of us a Christian (church, Bible studies, etc.) but until the Holy Spirit really burns inside of us and breaks our hearts for what breaks God's hearts AND moves us to action (that's the really important last step), I feel like we shouldn't even make the claim. Being a Christian is all about the DOING.

Case in point... I grew up claiming to be a Christian, went to church, had all of the knowledge, could tell you most of the Gospel story, and believed that it did all go down like that in history.  But honestly, I lived for ME.  What I wanted, what satisfied ME.  I was my own God.  There was no part of me that felt a pull at my heart strings when I thought about the world's homeless population, widows or orphans, and I kept myself shielded from the sadness of the world on purpose.  Out of sight, out of mind.  I can tell beyond a shadow of a doubt that it has all been changing for me over these past four or five years.  When something moves me, I am compelled to try and do SOMETHING, even if it's just give money, and I never feel like that's enough.  As a church planter, my heart breaks for those who just don't "get it" yet, because I know what they're missing out on.  I look back on the years when I thought I had it all together and I realize now how much I was hurting.  I really was lost, but I couldn't figure out what was missing because I thought I had it.  Does that make sense?

About two weeks ago I talked on the phone with my college roommate.  We've been in touch through Facebook, but haven't heard each other's voices in a long time.  Somehow we got on the topic of our faith and she said it so well when she stated, "Kim, we really thought that we were good Christian girls, but how did we miss the whole thing?"  In the end, it was actually one of the best conversations I've had in a long time- we were like two "before" and "after" pictures who knew each other well in both situations.  I am so thankful for friends like her... she gets it and her heart breaks for those who don't.  Josh and I planted a church for that reason... we used to be on the other side of this understanding and realize how much better our lives are now that we have a true relationship with our God.  Planting this church was our "living it out."

But you know what you'll find?  Once you start, it won't be enough.  You'll want to help MORE.  You'll want to give MORE.  You'll want to do MORE.  It's a hunger that can never be satisfied. So you will find the people who use that as a crutch or an excuse.  You know the line, "well it's not like we can adopt all of the children in Africa, so what's the point of just taking one?"  Well you know what?  That ONE kid will be forever grateful!  That ONE person's life matters, just like YOUR life matters, right?  Are you saying that your life is more valuable than that one child in Africa?  And if nobody does anything at all then you know what?  You're right- we won't find a home for all of the children, but shouldn't we at least try to make a dent?  God commanded us to take care of the orphans and widows... did you know that if 7% of people who "claimed" they were Christian adopted ONE child, the world's orphan problem would go away?  That is shocking!  In a church of 100, that's only 7 people.  We run about 300 on the weekends, so we should see about 21 families moving toward this goal.  What if we all stopped claiming and actually started doing??  Now that's a world I want to live in!

Okay, so apparently this fired me up a little more than I thought it would.  It definitely struck a chord in me, that's for sure. And you're probably thinking, "well if that's your solution, then why don't YOU adopt a child?"  And the funny thing is that before we found out we were pregnant with Lilly, we were trying.  We knew it could take years so we started the process and even had a few interviews.  We started running into several obstacles and before we could get too frustrated we realized we were expecting.  Shortly after that, God laid it on our hearts that it was time to bring Josh's vision for TurningPoint Church to life.  It was not God's will for us at that time, but we both still feel that it is His will for us in the future.  I feel down to my core that there is a little baby out there waiting for us... whether or not he or she has been born yet or whether or not he or she is from the US or another country I do not know.  Whether or now we will adopt this child or simply foster this child I do not know.  But I do know that since I try and "Live it out" this gut feeling is a real thing- I must do something about it and when God says "move" I'll move.  I've shared that feeling with my family, but never publicly like this, but I must say it's kind of freeing.  It's like publicly announcing that, "Yes, God, I do trust You and I know You have this."  It feels good.

There was more that I was going to share on this topic, but I think I'll stop here for today.  Make sure you jump over to read Brittany's post at Daughter... Wife... Mom... Sis and leave your blog url in the comments section if you joined us this week.  Reading these posts is one of my favorite things to do.

As for next week....

I can't help but still be shaken up by the events that happened in Aurora, CO this past weekend.  I of course am saddened to my core for the victims and their families, but I am also so very troubled by the shooter.  What must he have been going through to get there?  But even more than that, I have to wonder why nobody saw this coming.  Did he have no friends?  Did nobody know him well enough to see that he was going off of the deep end?  And clearly nobody had been to his apartment since it was filled with explosives.  We'll of course never know the full story and we'll never understand.  In fact, I don't think we're supposed to understand, but he clearly did not have anyone in his life who truly knew him, could reach out to him, worry about him, or potentially prevent this horrible tragedy.

The Bible speaks a lot about accountability and being relational.  In fact, God's only true commandments to us were to love God and love people:

Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment.And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'(Matthew 22:37-39)

Not only this, but we should also surround ourselves with people who can build us up and hold us accountable, making sure we are living it out and encouraging one another in Christ:

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." (Proverbs 27:17)

This week I want us to praise the people in our lives that "sharpen" us- who continuously challenge us to be better versions of ourselves and hold us accountable.  I hope that we all having someone (or many someones) in our lives who do this.  If you don't want to be specific with names you don't have to be... or you can maybe share a story from your life when someone challenged you and led you away from temptation.  This verse is the heartbeat behind these weekly "Reflections" posts and Brittany and I started them as a way to (from a distance) continue to sharpen one another and encourage others to join us to do the same.  I hope you'll post on this next week!

Reflections - Humility

"Humble yourself before the Lord and He will lift you up." (James 4:10)

There could not have been a more perfect verse for me this week.  Or this past month really.  When I saw that this was the chosen topic for this week's Reflections post, I knew that I needed this verse this week.  James is probably my favorite book of the Bible and I've read it several times, but I think I've just skimmed over these particular words in the past.  Thankfully because of this post, I had to sit and chew on it for awhile this week.

This verse comes at an appropriate time because we are approaching the one year anniversary of our move here.  We did not have a Lexington address until August, but in June of 2011 we packed our car with suitcases and moved in with my sister and her family for awhile.  It was official- we were embarking on our church planting adventure.  And over the course of this past year we have done just that... planted. The phrase "church planting" makes it sound so simple.  I mean, how hard is it to plant something?  I guess that all depends on how successful and healthy you want it to be.

Take the parable of the sower for example, found in Matthew chapter 13.  In this story, a farmer plants seeds and the ones that fall on the dirt path get eaten by birds.  The ones that fall on rocky ground grow up quickly but dry out because their roots cannot find the soil.  Any seeds that are planted too close to the weeds are eventually choked out.  But thankfully some of the seeds fall on fertile soil and these are the plants that thrive and can be harvested.

In order for our church plant to thrive, we knew that we would have to have good soil.  In the church planting world that means the right people, the right vision, the right drive, and a whole heck of a lot of work!  It takes huge sacrifices, both on your time and resources, and we poured our hearts and souls into seeing this happen.  And then launch day rolled around and we had 280 people show up!  Amazing!  But guess what?  Our work wasn't done!  Our plant was now just a tiny seedling and it still needed lots of love.  It still needs love everyday, and more sacrifice, and more time and effort.  If we are truly the church, then our work is not just limited to Sundays but to everyday!  We can't stop!  There are too many birds out there waiting to eat those seeds, too many weeds waiting to choke out the new life, and too much rocky ground trying to uproot us.  It takes work every. single. day. to keep this plant healthy and thriving, and that work comes in so many forms.  As a church planting family we wear every hat... my husband is the pastor, the CEO, the accountant, the janitor, the maintenance director, the vision caster, and tries to keep this in balance with being a husband and a father first.  He's done everything from install air conditioning to setting up bank accounts, to running payroll, to designing a website, to making multimedia videos, to auditioning a worship team, to paying bills, to leading meetings, and still spends about 30 hours a week working on his message for the next Sunday.  Meanwhile I am mostly at home working a full-time job, taking care of our two little ones, running the kids' ministry, starting a community moms' group, keeping our house clean, trying to put dinner on the table, and still trying to be a loving wife first.  I'm not going to lie... it's exhausting.  Worth it?  Absolutely.  But exhausting nonetheless.

So what's this got to do with humility?  A LOT.  We live in an "I can do it all myself" society.  Asking for help is a sign of weakness in many people's opinions.  But you know what?  That idea is not from God!  Nope!  It's right there in black and white: HUMBLE yourself before the Lord and HE will lift you up.  It doesn't say juggle a million balls in the air and you'll somehow reach superstar status.  Nowhere in the Bible does it say that you have to do it all alone!  Right there in print it blatantly tells us that we cannot do it alone.  Nor should we.  And over these past few months I have tried.  I am juggling more balls than I can handle, and I felt that if I admitted that to myself or to anyone else, that would mean that I was failing.  But the truth is, by asking for help I am being more responsible and taking better care of these balls that I am juggling!  Surrounding myself with people who can help gives me more hands to keep them from falling... what a wonderful concept!  I am thankful that I could read this and be reminded that God created me to be many things and to be capable of doing many things, but that He did not create me to do it all.  As a woman, I am constantly comparing myself to others.  Through Facebook, blogs, Pinterest, and other mediums we are bombarded with examples of other women who "have and do it all."  The sad part is that we forget that it's all a facade and behind every one of them is a woman who feels like she's teetering on the edge of disappointing someone or letting someone down.  If we all just slowed down for a moment and asked for help- from God and from each other- just imagine how much less pressure we would have on ourselves!

So this is me officially saying that enough is enough... I have taken on a little more than I can handle and I am in the process of getting help.  If that makes me a failure in someone's eyes then so be it... because I've already been promised that HE will lift me up.  I am perfect in His eyes and those are the only ones that matter.

I hope that this is a verse that you will commit to memory for those times that you feel like your world is spinning out of control.  As my husband would say, "don't forget the Lord of the work when you're doing the work of the Lord."  In other words, do things for a purpose and drop the things that are just weighing you down.  And ask for help if you're overwhelmed, okay?  I promise it will be okay.

If you shared your view on this topic, please link up with us.  You can also check out the fabulous Brittany's thoughts over on her blog "Daughter... Wife... Mom... Sis" (found here).

To piggy-back on this week's topic for next week, we're going to talk about prayer.  I think humility and prayer go hand-in-hand since it's through prayer that we often ask for help.  I really don't have a specific verse or reading for the topic but instead I want you to spend this week reflecting on your prayer life.  How is it?  Do you even have one?  Do you pray only when you need something or do you rejoice and sing praises to the Lord in the good times, too?  What helps you remember to pray?  Do you do it daily or just when you think about it?  My hope is that through this process we can really evaluate and explore where we are at when it comes to prayer.  And if we find that we need to learn more about it to really get to where we want to be, at least we'll have a starting point.  And if you have any references that you can recommend on the topic, please feel free to share them in your post.  Can't wait to hear how God speaks to you this week!

As always, thanks for sharing and for allowing me to share.  I hope this verse blessed you as much as it has blessed me.

Reflections - The Waiting Room

Brittany over at "Daughter... Wife... Mom... Sis" chose the topic for our weekly Reflections post, and if you did not get a chance to check out the message video she chose, you should definitely do so (and it can be found here)!  But if not, before I jump into my take on everything, the short version is that while we're instructed to wait on God in many situations, that instead of sitting in a waiting room, we should turn the situation into a work room.  As in, do something while you wait in order to go the direction that God is trying to get you to go.  

Often times, even as we wait, we have a pretty good idea (or at least a partial picture) of what the final destination looks like.  Take church planting for example (since that is what most strongly applies in my life)... we always knew the big picture and had the end result in mind, but when it was just a vision, there were millions of little things to get through between point A and point B.  We had the vision, could "see" the people in the chairs on that first day, but when we decided to plant, we didn't even live in this town yet!  God had truly laid this mission upon our hearts, we felt called to do it, and yes, a lot of the next year would be spent waiting... waiting to move, waiting to hear back from people regarding a facility, waiting to met the right people, waiting for finances to roll in... etc.  Since we knew and had confirmation time and time again from God that this was HIS plan, I guess we could have just sat around praying and hoping that all of this stuff would happen in His timing, but that could have taken years and caused so worry.  Instead, we turned out waiting into working.  We moved to Lexington and made arrangements to live with my sister and her family until we could afford housing of our own, Josh made phone call after phone call to other pastors and tried to connect with folks, we talked to people everywhere we went to try and strike up some friendships, and we gave out of our own pockets with faith that God would match or exceed our own personal contribution.  The list goes on and on about the countless hours and sacrifice that we poured in, but because we put in the work, God has been blessing our socks off.  I really feel like had we just sat around and waited for this dream to miraculously come to fruition, we would still be waiting.  Our God is faithful, but he also does not expect us to be lazy.

If you're in a current place of feeling complacent and waiting for something to change in your life, I challenge you to re-evaluate your current situation and pray for direction.  Seek direction so that you can begin moving toward it... turning your waiting into working.  My very favorite point from Holly's entire message was this:

Let your pain trigger a praise as you position yourself to let God work on you as you wait.

Your pain can be due to frustrations, complacency, fear of the unknown, or any number of things.  But the word that jumps out at me is POSITION.  POSITION YOURSELF... meaning Pray more.  Ask God for direction.  Get in the word.  And paise Him even in your times of uncertainty.  In other words... SEEK.  Sometimes He's just waiting for you to stop long enough to ask!  And then once you have a direction... get to work!  A book will never get written if you never put the pen to paper.  A non-profit would never get started unless someone drafts a business plan.  A child will never grow spiritually if the parent never takes the time to show and teach him or her daily what it means to live out our faith.  

I hope these words encouraged you today, but I feel like I cannot do Holly's message justice, so if this struck a chord, I highly recommend listening to her words.  Brittany posted her take on it over at her blog (found here) and if it did strike a chord and you have chosen to share with us, please link up below!

Technically it's my week to choose a topic, but I am going to kind of cheat and pick one that Brittany mentioned a few weeks ago.  It's the song "Never Once" by Matt Redman.  We're all about talking about risk and overcoming fear here lately, so this goes along with that fear (hmmm.... what is God telling the two of us lately?).  You can find it here: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1bXG4WIesA).  Listen to the lyrics, meditate on the words, and share with us how it spoke to you next week.  

And as always, thanks for letting me share my heart... and thanks for sharing yours.  My little blog-land is one of my most favorite places to be.

What I'm Loving Wednesday

Lately I feel like I have a million blog ideas... and they are all over the place.  So since I may not get to do a full post on everything, I thought I'd participate in "What I'm Loving Wednesday" again and share a few.  So lately, here is what I'm loving...

1.  My parents are moving into their new home this week and guess what?  It's fifteen minutes away from me!  They've been in Florida for the past 12 years, so this is huge.  I also love that we've only been there once so far and Jake already knows that it's "Gramma's House."

2.  I'm loving everything that is happening with our church plant!  We launched TurningPoint Church in February and have already seen our numbers grow and (more importantly) lives changed.  Right after Easter we had a service with a spontaneous baptism and 27 people took the plunge!  Check out this awesome video (http://vimeo.com/41261638) ... the first guy in the water is actually Josh's dad and oneof the couples is my sister and brother-in-law.  It was an unbelievable day and God wows us every single week.

3.  With the anniversary of my blog coming up this summer, I'm looking into a blog redesign and even a new name that I have in the works.  I'm a geek, so this is super-thrilling for me.  I'm also loving that my blogger friends have been linking up and sharing during my Mama's Month series.  Yesterday's topic was favorite baby gear items... you should link up, too!

4.  Last week we rearranged our entire upstairs to give Jake and Lilly their own rooms.  Lil has been in her own crib in her own room for one full week.  Lil has finally slept through the night for one full week.  Coincidence?  I think not.  Our little diva just needed her own space!

5.  Last night a couple of friends and I put together an event to bring together moms in our neighborhood and community.  We had no idea what to expect but promoted it with Facebook and post cards that were handed out all over town.  There must have been about 30 women there and everyone hung out, chatted, and connected, which was our hope.  It was so awesome and I cannot wait until our next gathering at the end of the month!

6.  I was only going to do five, but I just have to add that I love how much my husband has spoiled me lately.  I know some of it had to do with mother's day, but all in all he's really just gone above and beyond to help me out at home.  Yep, I'm a lucky woman.

Told you these were all over the place.  Hopefully I'll find time to elaborate on some of it soon and stay tuned for a blog facelift coming this summer!  What are you loving this week?

Reflections - Need

{This week's Reflections post is in response to the blog post "Need" by Going Beyond Ministries, which can be found HERE.}

My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?

These may just be some of the most famous words in the Bible.  Not only that, but when taken out of context, they are some of the most powerful words that anti-Christians try to use against us.  Wow, I'm getting heavy and it's only the third sentence!

As you might be familiar, as Jesus died on the cross, He shouted these words to the Father.  His Father.  Our Father.  Because as He suffered the most cruel death in history, the human side of Him- the side that felt pain, hurt, and emotions- felt abandoned.  He knew all along that this would be His fate... it had been prophesied for thousands of years before His existence, and He knew why (or rather for whom) He was dying.  It was  a hefty price to pay, and one that would change the world forever, but even Jesus had that moment of weakness- that moment of distrust.

No matter who you are or what your story, you have been through a dark time.  Who knows, maybe you are even going through one now.  Or maybe you feel like your life is one constant dark time and you can't find the way off of the hamster wheel.  And maybe, just maybe, you profess your faith in Christ but yet you feel like He's nowhere to be found.  This is totally not the direction that I was going to go with this today, but as soon as I sat down to type up my thoughts, my fingers started dancing across the keyboard.  Someone out there needs to read this today.  Someone out there is struggling, feels alone and abandoned, and desperately needs to hear that they are not alone.  And if you're feeling guilty about doubting that God will come through, know that you're not alone there either.  Jesus, our savior, had His moment of weakness, too.  But in God's timing, He was rescued, and you will be, too.  TRUST in Him during this time.  Have FAITH in Him during this time.  And even if you're not sure how to even pray to Him, just continue to remind yourself that you have no idea what the plan is or how this whole thing will turn out, you're putting it in His hands.  Hold your head high, square your shoulders, live by His word, and... well... wait.

Okay, so that's the part you didn't want to hear.  We live in a culture where we want it NOW.  We want the answer NOW.  We want the dark time to be over NOW.  And just because we're told to wait on God does not mean that we have to sit back and twiddle our thumbs.  God knows the answer, but He still expects you to do some work.  If you're greiving over the loss of something or someone (whether it be a death or the end of a relationship) He still expects you to take steps to start letting that person go.  It's just like in Joshua - even though He was told that He would win the battle, He still had to assemble an army and fight.  But I encourage you to always keep in mind that no matter what that fight is, God has it figured out.  Even in the end of these days, God will prevail... that's in there, too!

Like I said, this is not where I thought I was going to go with this today.  My challenge last week was for you to share a God-story... one of those when you thought all hope was lost and He came through.  I love those and could hear them all day.  So since I went off on a tangent, I'm just going to share a VERY quick one since I've already rambled on enough.  So... as you know, we decided last spring to move three states away and plant a church.  Our goal was to spend the summer living with my sister and scoping out locations and meeting people.  We still owned a house in Illinois and our focus was save, save, save.  Most of our spare income (and then some) was poured into this dream and we continued to tithe faithfully to a church that didn't yet exist.  And then in August, we bit the bullet and moved here full-time, which came with a hefty rent check.  Now I will be the first to say that I used to spend a lot of my time being concerned about money.  I lived at home for a long time, have always had a steady, well-paying job, and therefore have always had plenty to live on, plenty to spend on myself, and plenty left in a savings account just in case.  When I met Josh, he taught me about returning the tithe and I struggled at first with giving away 10%.  I did it out of due diligence and eventually it became routine.  And then in some weird way, it kind of became fun.  And then over time, I literally itched if it was the second day of the month and that check hadn't written.  Giving God my first fruits is now a way of life, and then on top of that, we started giving abundantly and generously.  We were always smart and paid our bills and provided for our family, but giving became (and still is) a big part of our life.  So the old me would have completely panicked about the decision to have a mortgage and a rental house.  Oh, did I mention that this was happening on one income?  Yeah, Josh quit his job before we moved here... it was the only way it would work out for us.  And then on top of that, I knew that maternity leave was in the very near future and I'd be going on about 12 weeks with very little pay.  We saved during that summer with my sister like never before, but once that maternity leave time hit, things did start getting tight.  We cut back even farther, but continued to pay on both houses.  And still, I did not freak out.  We continued to tithe and even budgeted enough to buy some pretty nice Christmas presents for our families, and still I did not panic.  It was weird, but I think it was truly the first time in my entire life that I told God that I knew He had this.  I knew He'd provide (but like I mentioned above, we were putting in the work while we waited).  January rolled around and I paid the mortgage.  We had budgeted to get us to this point and it was the very last mortgage payment that we had saved for.  In many ways, I couldn't believe that we had made it that far, and a small part of me started to doubt, just a little.  Our house hadn't shown in months and had been on the market since the previous May.  My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?  I had my moments of that... of course I did... I'm human!  But then I'd turn right back around and give it back to Him.  God, you've got this... I know you do.  And then out of the blue came a call from our realtor.  He asked me if we'd be willing to do a rent to own contract.  Josh and I knew nothing about how that worked but immediately said yes!  My hopes were up until he told me that the couple who wanted to know hadn't even seen the house.  We weren't in the clear yet.  Plus, it was already mid-month, so chances were we'd be scrounging to find that February payment.  But then, another call came, this time to discuss the contract.  Say what??  Really??  And.... guess when they wanted to move in?  Yep.... February 1st!  Since it was a rent-to-own we didn't have to wait until closing and could arrange that.  In fact, becuase it was a rent-to-own we officially don't even close until January 2014, which is crazy when you thimk about it.  But yet, they'll be paying us rent and we'll still be putting equity into the house.  The purchase price has been set, so we'll come out ahead even in this market.  One of my favorite sayings is "always be amazed, but never be surprised."  Yes, I was amazed- am still amazed.  God, I knew you had this one... and He did.  He just made me wait until the very last minute... just to make sure I meant it!  He's always there you know, but maybe He's just waiting for the very last minute, just to make sure you mean it, too!

Okay, so that wasn't as short as I thought it would be (but it never is with me).  I'm just going to leave you with one last nugget and then I'll shush for the day, deal?  I read this today and thought it was perfect to share:

If you made it this far, thank you.  As always, Brittany posted about the same topic and let me just tell you, she totally blew me away this week.  "Push Hard and Pedal" is something I'm going to have to start chanting to myself through hard times... I loved it!

Please share with us if you posted on this topic, too.  We don't receive too much feedback on these Reflections posts, but I hope you're getting as much out of them as we are from writing them.  Blogging with Brittany every Thursday has been something that I look forward to week after week, and we'd love to have more in our little club.  Leave a comment or link up if you want to join us.

Brit picked the topic for next week and I am totally pumped about it.  She picked a message by Holly Furtick, who is basically like the mecca of all pastor's wives.  Yeah, she's a superstar and someone I really admire... her blog is pretty wonderful, too.  Here's what Brittany has chosen for us:

{As for next week, I'd like to listen to a message from Holly Furtick.  Her husband is Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC.  She opened up there current series called "Waiting Room" with an UNBELIEVABLY TIMELY MESSAGE!!  You can listen and watch at this link below...

http://www.elevationchurch.org/sermons/waitingroom/part1}

Love you all... thanks for reading!

Reflections - Fearless

I am a woman.  I was wired, as all women are, to worry.  I worry about our finances, no matter what our financial situation looks like at the time.  I worry about our kids, that something bad might happen to them and I won't be able to protect them from it.  I worry about the kids who will someday make fun of my kids, and dread the day that someone says something mean to them.  Today I even worried about what would happen when the world runs out of clean water.  What???  Yes, it's ridiculous, which is why this topic is so appealing to me.

What if, for once, we could shed this worry and go after something that scares the daylights out of us?  I have a magnet on my fridge that says"what would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?"... what if we truly approached things that way?  We read and read and read that we should put our trust in God and depend fully on Him, and yet, we fall back on this worry that He won't be there for us when we need Him.

Josh told me that he wanted to plant a church long before we ever did.  It was about 5 months before our wedding the first time he shared his dream and his vision.  I totally didn't get it.  I literally thought it sounded like starting a cult, which is funny now since cult rumors often get started when a church is planted.  Needless to say, I shut down the idea.  Then we had our opportunity to move to Small Town, Illinois and plant a satellite campus of a larger church.  Now this I could get in line with.  We often refer to that time as "church planting with training wheels" because even though we did the work to build a launch team, cast vision, and grow and implement leaders and teams, we had the larger church to fall back on in case of failure.  When the church planting conversation came up during this time, I would tell Josh that we were not going to even think about it until we had set our current church up to a sustainable place.  If we were to ever leave on our own, I wanted to be sure that everything we worked so hard to help build would continue to grow and flourish.  It was unfair to them to think about the next step.  And the next time it came up, I told him that we should just pray about the timing, which we did.  I don't think Josh ever expected the day to come that I would say "go" but it did.  It was about a year and a half into our life there and he mentioned that maybe in a year or so we should finally do it.  The desire was burning strong and I could tell.  He lit up like a Christmas tree any time we would even tiptoe around the idea.  About a day later I told him that a year was too long... it was time to get started.  There are a million things that happened between that conversation and the launch of our church last February, but that moment was honestly like setting loose a caged lion.  I just had to hang on tight and hope I could keep up, and I did, surprising even myself.  And now that the launch is behind us, I want to just slow down for awhile...

But God always has different plans, doesn't He?  I came up with this topic this week to hear how you would be fearless in your life.  The funny thing is, even after thinking about it for a week, I am not sure what it means for me.  What I do know is that God keeps putting this word in my path.  Every passage I read in the Bible is about putting your fear aside and putting your trust in God.  And while everything in me wants to just be a bump on a log for a season, I find myself instead saying, "ok God, now what?"  I am still waiting to hear from Him.  Now that I have seen the fruit of the work we're doing through our church plant, I know that He can do great works through little ol' me, and that humbles me to my core.  But it also makes me realize that I'm not done.  He still has work for me to do... and He has a plan that is slowly unraveling.  For me, being fearless is not about starting something new or making a big change in my life.  At this point in my journey, being fearless simply means listening for the next call, because I know it's coming.  And then being open to whatever that may be, even if it scares me.  Being open to what He is calling you to do can be terrifying, and there were moments over this past year that I really thought we had lost our minds.  But now looking back, there was never a moment that I felt like God abandoned us.  He was in it the whole time, so He won't abandon me for whatever comes next.  So God, if you're reading this, I'm ready when you are... just let me know!

If you participated this week, we'd love for you to link up below and you can read Brittany's post here.   Then read on for next week's topic.

Brittany picked a good one this week, and it's a perfect "get to know you" post, too.  She writes:

"With Easter approaching, I thought it would be very special to reflect back on our own journey with Jesus... and share a "blurb"- maybe it's your testimony or it could also be what God is doing in your life right now... there is true power in reflecting back on where we were WITHOUT Jesus and what He has done in each of our lives since then!  We can't wait to hear back from you!"

Until next Thursday...

Reflections: James chapter 1

Ohhhh, sweet James.  How I do love you.  There was a time in my life when I had read very little of the Bible.  It was not that long ago to be quite honest.  And the Bible was, well, intimidating.  And a bit boring to be frank.  And I'm not a reader.  Yeah, I had a million excuses.  And then one day, I randomly opened to James... and lo and behold, I read the whole chapter in a sitting (yes, it's short) and felt like I got so much out of it!  I've read plenty more of the good book by now, but James is still a favorite.  To me, it's almost like Cliff's notes for the Bible... the mini-version if you will.  There is so much you can draw out of it, so if you're looking for a good place to start or just a chapter to complete, I would highly recommend it.  Don't have a Bible?  That's okay, too... you can always go to my favorite resource online- YouVersion.  What's great about it is that you can set up daily reading plans and read the Bible in all different translations.  If you are not understanding something in the King James Version (which those of us who grew up in church are most familiar with and which I never read anymore... because really, who thus does readeth in that fancy language?) try it in something easier like the New Living Translation (NLT) or New International Version (NIV).  If you still need it broken down farther, you can even check out the Message (MSG) translation, which is written in modern language.  Find one that works for you then head to James and check out what he has to say.  Which brings me back to today's point... James 1 and Brittany's pick for this week's Reflections post.

Before I get into what this chapter really said to me, I think it's important to tell you (in case you did not know already) that James was Jesus' brother.  Well, half brother I guess since Joseph is the father of James and God is the father of Jesus, but Mary is the mother of them both.  I grew up without really thinking about Jesus having siblings, but I now feel it's one of the most important facts about the man.  Why, you ask?  Well, because sometimes our siblings can be our biggest doubters.  Seriously, if I told my sisters that I was the immaculate child of God and the savior of the world, don't you think that they would have me committed?  And until after Jesus' resurrection, James basically had that opinion, too.  He was not convinced until after the resurrection, and for him to admit that he saw it with his own eyes and became a believer, I think that says a lot.  I think in the long run, he is one of Jesus' biggest advocates, which is why I think the relationship between the two is important.

But anyway... back to the book of James.  James wastes no time and immediately jumps in with:

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,t whenever you face trials of many kinds,3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

Say what?  Consider it joy when we face trials?  When our faith is tested?  That's just crazy!  Nobody wants to face opposition in this life, but nobody can escape it.  This is particularly true when we step out on a limb and take a "leap of faith" if you will.  Did people think that Josh and I were crazy when we moved from the sunny shores of Fort Lauderdale to middle-of-nowhere, Illinois - population 6000?  I'm sure they did!  And a few let us know it.  And then again, we saw some concern and opposition (in fact a few people outright gave us strong opposition) when we announced that we were leaving Small Town, IL to start a church from scratch in Lexington.  We hit some brick walls along the way, and this verse became so very important to me.  Over time, I learned that opposition is okay, and I do find a little bit of joy when I run into it.  In fact, at certain times it reminds me that I'm doing something right.  A lot of folks don't believe in spiritual warfare- that there's a real devil who really wants to tempt us and mess up God's plans, but I've seen too many "coincidences" to know that it in fact is a real thing.  The devil will do anything to get in the way, so when I am trying to accomplish something  for the growth of God's kingdom and I face opposition, I try not to get frustrated and instead see it as a joyful reminder that I'm pissing off the devil, to put it bluntly.  Now that brings great joy!  It's important to note, however, that sometimes we do face opposition because we are doing things outside of God's will.  A friend's concern for a friendship or relationship that you have or guilt and/or shame for decisions you are making in your daily decisions could simply be actual red flags to tell you that it's time to re-evaluate things.  Guild, shame, anger, etc... those are not feelings from God, so if they accompany whatever you have going on, chances are you are not acting within His will.  And speaking of temptation, our friend James hits on this, too, reminding us that it's not something that comes from God either.  Everything "good and perfect" comes from above, and temptation does not fall within those t boundaries.  If you are considering doing something that doesn't feel quite right, chances are you're being tempted in some way or another.  I once heard someone describe it as something you would want to hide from your grandmother, because it would give that dear, sweet woman a heart attack if she found out about it.  Yes, that's temptation, so steer clear.

Finally, James hits us with a zinger (see, I told you there was a lot in this short book... and this is only one chapter!).  

22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.

I will be the first to admit that I spent most of my teenage years and twenties doing the opposite of this.  I knew (well... sort of) what the Bible said about right and wrong, Christian values, and how we should be living this life we've been giving, but I chose a different path.  I could put on a very good front, was at church on many Sundays, joined a young adults' Bible study, and even though I was "getting fed" and learning more about being a follower of Jesus, my actions when nobody was looking were not at all reflecting these beliefs.  I was truly lost, and I think I knew it deep down but did not know  how to change.  Being lost was "fun" at the time, but now I look back and I'm not even sure who that girl was.  I love the part about looking in a mirror... that was me.  I knew what I wanted to look like deep down, but could not dig myself out of the patterns of sin and temptation.  My relationship with Christ was not real, but merely on the surface, and until I truly surrendered my life to Him, my face was one that I did not recognize.  I'm sure you've heard (and may have actually used the phrase "I lost myself," well, I think this is what it refers to.  We "lose ourselves" in certain circumstances because we lose our focus on what's important.  Instead of trying to live our lives in a way that is pleasing to God everyday, we throw all of our energy in living in a way that is pleasing to others- whomever we want to impress at that time.  And before we know it, we've forgotten who we are... we don't recognize that face in the mirror.  I thank my husband for challenging me everyday to live a life that is pleasing to God.  At first I did it to please Josh, and now it truly is to make God smile.  Because when God smiles on us, there is no greater feeling in the world.... you should try it sometime.

So I'll leave you with this... wake up each morning and allow your first thought to be, "God loves me."  Sounds simple, right?  But seriously, do it.  Remember each and every morning that no matter how much you've screwed up in the past, where you've been, or who you used to be, God loves you deeply.  He made you in His image, and despite any insecurities you have, You are the most beautiful creature to Him.  And with that in mind, try to use those thoughts to guide your day, working toward pleasing Him as you go about your business.  You don't have to go preach a sermon on a street corner, but just love on people and go out of your way to show some kindness, building others up... even that is enough.

Thank you for letting me share and for allowing Brittany and I to reflect with you weekly.  As always, you can read her post here and if you've written your own you can link it below.  If you don't have a blog or don't want to share on your blog, please leave one of us a comment... the whole point of this is to share our perspectives and apply the things we're learning to our everyday lives.  It can be uncomfortable at first, but I can assure you that it sure feels good to the soul.  And everyone could use a little bit of that!  So link up below and then jump to the bottom for next week's topic.  I can't wait to hear about how James has shaken up your week!



Ok, so for next week I had considered continuing with James since he's such a rock star.  But then throughout the week a single word kept coming to me: FEARLESS.  So this week we're going to meditate on the verse that Josh and I focused on throughout our church planting process, which can be found in Joshua 1:9 which reads:

9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Also, take a look at Psalm 27 this week... it's all about God being with us in whatever we do, too.  As we grow up, get married, have kids, go to our 9 to 5 jobs, and just go through the motions, we lose some of the adventure that once filled our younger days.  Growing up should not mean growing into something boring.  I know that God loves adventure.  I know that God wants to challenge us.  So this week, think about these verses and ask God to show you what He is calling you do, even if it's scary.  In what areas do you need to be "bold and courageous"?  Then be FEARLESS and share it with us!  Whether it's admitting that you want to lose 20 pounds, start your own business, write a book, have a baby, or even start a ministry... share it with us!  Putting it out there and applying the above verses to your life will make it real, and will hold you accountable.  I can't wait to hear what He's saying to you!  Thanks again for reading... have a lovely week and know that you are loved.

The Quick Facts

Somewhat like a birth story, it is going to take me a few days to really get it all into writing about how yesterday went.  But in a word... it was an INCREDIBLE day!  To see people pouring into the place and the auditorium filled to capacity was certainly something to celebrate.  So I promise a longer post later, but  to tie you over, here are the quick facts:

• 285 people total... a stark contrast of our very first launch meeting which resulted in FOUR people showing up!
• 42 of those people were in our kids' services (5th grade and under)
• At least 9 people committed their lives to Christ
• Many many connection cards filled out with names of people who are excited and want to get involved!

Man it was a great day!  Although it's not up yet, Josh's sermon will be posted online soon, so when it goes live I will let you know.  I'd like to say the hard part is over, but now we have to make sure they want to come back!  It's really just the beginning...

The time has come...

It's a big day for our family, but even more so for the Kingdom tomorrow.  Tomorrow (Sunday) at 10am is the very first service of our church plant, TurningPoint Church.  From the bottom of our hearts, thank you to everyone who have been praying for us, helped us financially, gave us your time, resources, and support.  Our hearts are full and we're going into tomorrow more excited than ever.  We know that it's not about us though... and we are humbled and ecstatic to have been used in this way by God, but even more so, about what we will witness tomorrow.  When God moves, He moves big, and I cannot wait to see who he decides to send our way tomorrow.  I think there's going to be some partying going on in heaven tomorrow when people come face to face with the Creator of the universe for the first time.  

And check our our little shout out we got on the Association of Related Churches (ARC)'s blog today.  We are so blessed to be a part of that family.

Busy

I've had this post floating around in my head for awhile now, and the ironic part is that I have literally just been too busy to sit down and write it all down.  And it all revolves around that word... "busy." 

Think back to the last phone conversation you've had with someone you haven't talked to in awhile.  It probably started out with a, "hey, how have you been?" and if the answer wasn't "fine" then it was probably the other four-letter standard answer of "busy."  Or when we don't get around to doing something that we were supposed to do or said we would, our answer is, "sorry, things have been so busy."  All that to say that it just makes me wonder, when did life get so "busy" for absolutely everyone?

As I reflect back on my life and compare it to the season that we're living in now, I almost feel silly that I ever really used that word to describe my current situation.  High school?  Well, yeah, I went from school to dance team practice to soccer practice and twice a week had additional dance lessons.  Plus I of course wanted to hang out with my friends on the weekends.  So I guess you could say it was busy.  Then college?  Well, there was class, which I was actually good about going to, with the exception of freshman biology, but really, who could blame me for that?  For a few years I worked as a resident assistant, which really just meant a weekly meeting and being friends with all of the girls on my floor (tough job, right?) and in the latter years I was a lifeguard at the YMCA, which honestly, was just hours spent in a chair watching a few very capable people swim laps.  I juggled that with weekly sorority meetings, which eventually led me to being a part of the board (which meant another weekly meeting) and then there were various social activities and probably too many parties.  And at that point, yes, I thought I was busy.  After college I moved to Florida and worked at a country club for awhile, which meant giving up a lot of weekends when I'd rather be doing something else.  When that job came to an end, I worked for the FedEx Orange Bowl, which meant working ALL. THE. TIME. (not even kidding there), and while I would say I was "busy," my time at work was really just filling a chair half the time.  The company culture lent itself to having us work all hours around the clock, when our jobs were really done for the day at regular business ending hours.  But becuase I worked so much I was, yep, you guessed it... "busy."  Then from there I started my career with Marriott, and while my hours got more regular, my social calendar filled back up with weekends at Disney with the girls, which I generally planned, bridal showers, weddings, and all the fun stuff that goes along with being in your twenties.  And then of course there was the planning of my own wedding, which filled up many weekends and was probably the most fun I've ever had being "busy" in my life.  As soon as we were married we packed up (immediately) and moved to Illinois to plant a church campus and while Josh worked some crazy hours, I worked from home and basically sulked that my husband wasn't always there to keep me company.  And instead of jumping on board and really lightening his load, I thought that I was "too busy" with my own full-time job and housekeeping to really be of any significance.  Plus, I was pregnant, so I liked to point out that I was constantly busy "building a human."  Yeah, try to top that!

So what's my point you might wonder?  Well, it's just that the word is... well... overused I think.  It's like the word "love."  I can love my husband and my children, but I can also love my new purse?  That makes no sense at all, but it's the only word we have for it.  And right here right now, in this season of my life, I am beginning to understand the absurdity of "busy" as well.  When Josh and I moved here this summer to plant a church, I knew things would be a bit crazy at times.  I was six months pregnant with our second child and we were starting at square one, with just a calling that we were supposed to be in this are, but no real direction beyond that.  The first couple of months of figuring it all out weren't truly all that busy, but Josh was on the go a lot as he built contacts and tried to flesh out this dream he had in his heart.  And then Lilly came along and I had three months of maternity leave, and while there was down time here and there, learning to adjust to two children can have a person "busy" around the clock.  Things started to ramp up for our church during these months as we partnered with the Kinchen family and their existing church, and suddenly the calendar started filling up.  Josh was meeting with anyone and everyone who would listen to him, casting vision and letting them know that they could help change the world.  I took over the childrens' ministry and began spending any free time I had searching for curriculum, pestering the childrens' pastor from our previous church, and putting together policies and procedures.  Our facility went under major renovations and we were often there painting, dry-walling, or whatever else we could find to do, all the while trying to keep an eye on a toddler who has more energy than anyone we know.  And then... I went back to work two months before our church was scheduled to launch.  Basically the two busiest months that a church plant will have.  At the beginning of January I remember literally thinking to myself, "I am going to hate January."  I knew at the start of it that Josh would be gone a lot and I would be juggling my job, the house, the bills, and two kids, both of which are at needy ages, and I just wasn't sure that I could do it.  And then I blinked and it was February.

We are now T-minus five days to the launch of TurningPoint Church.  To say that I am proud of my husband and what he has put in place would be the understatement of the year.  Over the past few months he has worked non-stop to pour into people, build them up, encourage them, and truly help them know and believe that they were created by God on purpose and for a purpose.  He helped individuals become leaders that they didn't realize they could be, and he helped those leaders build teams that will serve this community every Sunday starting next week.  He got up early to read not just the Bible, but manuals about speaker systems, accounting programs, and membership tracking applications.  And the whole time, I know that he beat himself up about not being home.  And then I look at my past few months and, well, I'm a bit proud of myself, too.  While I would not say that I want this pace to be the norm for our family, I have managed to keep our home pretty clean (if not always tidy), kept our kids happy, well-fed, well-groomed, and entertained, built the framework for what I hope will be a successful kids' ministry, and have even made it back to the gym about three times every week, which was more than I was going before all of this was going on.  Sure, my kids are with me 24 hours a day and come with me everywhere I go, which can be a major hassle at times (and a deterrent from leaving the house to be quite honest) but even when I didn't want to, I sucked it up and made it happen.  And I realized that for the first time in quite possibly my entire life, the difference has been discipline.  Because I so deeply believe to the very core of who I am in what we are doing, and  because I so very much believe that this church we are planting is something that we were created to do, I made the time work, even when there never seemed to be enough.  Sometimes with my kids I get frustrated that "my time is not my own," meaning I can't necessarily do things or get things done on my schedule, but then I remind myself that with or without kids, the time never was mine to begin with.  God gives us all 24 hours in a day, and I think it's important to Him how we use it.  We learn about tithing and giving our first 10% of our earnings to God, because it belongs to Him anyway, and I don't think we ever stop and think that it's the same with our time.  He has promised us eternal life in Heaven with Him if we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, but I think with that acceptance comes a responsibility to take care of this gift of time he's given us.  And the more responsible we are with it, the more responsibility He will give us... just like the tithe.  In these past few months I have learned so much about what it means to work hard.  I have learned how to utilize my time so that no single part of my day goes to waste.  When I walk up the stairs I have a basket of laundry in my hand and when I come back down I'm carrying cups that have accumulated.  I tirelessly pick up toys, load and unload the dishwasher, and change more diapers than I can count.  I write business proposals and contracts, return phone calls and send emails.  I try to pour into my kids' ministry team, send schedules and outlines of how Sunday should look.  I now know what the word "busy" really looks like.  It is my life in this time right now.

This post is in no way to try and say that we are truly busier than anyone else right now.  I think in many ways, those times in my past when I thought I was busy, I actually was for the capacity of what I could handle right then.  I think God saw how I handled my time, probably tried to hand me more responsibility at times, and I wasn't at a place where I was willing to take it on right then.  And now, well, we've been more than willing and He sure has handed us quite a bit.  And even though it's been tough and exhausting, and believe me, I have a mini-nervous breakdown about once a week (which my husband can confirm), and as much as I would love an entire day just to myself, I really can't complain.  This journey has stretched me in more ways than I have ever been stretched.  I have been challenged beyond any measure that I have ever had in the past.  And at the end of each day, I go to bed so satisfied with what we're doing with the time we've been given.  And I am proud.  And I hope God is proud of us.

So in finally putting all of this out there my challenge to you is this:

If you feel like there is something that you really want to go after, or you're hearing a small voice in your head pushing you in a certain direction, maybe it's time that you go for it!  Has your excuse been that you're already too busy or just don't have time?  We're all given the same amount of it... maybe it's "time" to start rearranging some things and make more time out of your 24 hours.  It won't be easy, and at times you'll be so tired that you think you might fall asleep standing up, but if you accomplish what you set out to do, it will be worth it.

I know that this Sunday is the first of many for TurningPoint Church and I know that our pace will still be a little crazy for awhile, even after we're up and running.  But this weekend, on February 12th, when they play that last song and our first service ends I know it will be worth it.  And whether fifty people or five hundred show up, I think that God will be smiling down on us, proud that we stopped being "too busy" to find the time to make this happen.  And deep within me, I will be filled with peace because I know that this "busy" season won't last forever and the pace will slow down eventually, and sometime in the near future my "busy" will look a lot less busy than it is right now. 

"Show me, O LORD, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man's life is but a breath" 

(Psalm 39:4-5)