Dear Pinterest,

Let me just start by saying that I think you offer a really neat concept... I really do.  I mean, how else would I ever know how unorganized I am or what to do with all of the mason jars I have stored in my pantry?  And even though I think you're great for some people, I just want you to know that you and I will never have a relationship.  It's not you, it's me....

Some people, well, are just born with the gift of craftiness.  Me?  Not so much.  Because of you and all of the fantastic craft ideas you offer, I have more scrapbook paper and acrylic paint that I know what to with, but even more half-finished DIY projects that all look like they were done by a kindergartner.  My mother-in-law may never receive the semi-completed and already very late Mother's Day gift I have been working on due to the fact that I am too frustrated to even finish it.  And while all of these ideas are beautiful and look simple enough on your online pin-boards...

I, for one, just lack the skills required to pull off such things.  In fact, I'm too embarrassed to even post pictures of what I've attempted (much less completed) for fear that my crafty friends may judge me.  Plus, there is a 99% chance that if I attempt a craft involving glue, paint, or sequins, I could find my 9-month-old covered in said materials due to a mischievous 2-year-old who lives here.  You can do better than me... we were just not meant to be.

Also, before you came along, I was perfectly happy with the way the inside of my pantry and bathroom cabinets looked.  Putting my things on the provided shelves seems pretty logical and organized, but then I see things like this and feel, well, inadequate.  Lining my shelves with wallpaper?  Wow... that takes some time and money that I simply do not have!  It's beautiful, yes, but how many people actually even see the inside of my pantry?  Should I be including this on the tour of my home?  Did I miss a memo?

Not to mention the pictures upon pictures of homes that I will never be able to afford.  Do I want my laundry room to look like a place I need to wear a dress and heels to enter?  Sure I do.  Sorta.  Or do I?  See?  I don't even know what I want anymore thanks to you.  I never knew I needed frosted French doors on my closet or striped walls in my mudroom or floor-to-cieling windows in my master bedroom, so thank you for bringing that to my attention.  Last I checked my dream home was the one I was living in, because my family is here inside of it, but apparently my decor is not quite up to par.  And clearly spending hours online finding pictures of said dream home to pin is a means to get me there.  What?  It's not a pay-per-pin thing?  Oh.  Well now I'm just confused.

Lastly, while I find your clever ideas on what to do with my toddler on a summer day fantastic, I realize that all my 2-year-old really needs is to be stripped down naked and set free in the backyard.  It's a "Lord of the Flies" type thing that seems to work with him, and all males I'm sure.  While I appreciate your suggestion that I should spend some more of my time making his lunches into clever shapes and taking him on a nature hike, chances are the most joy he's going to find all day is when he plays in the toilet bowl when I'm not looking.  And oddly enough, I have not seen any of those suggestions on your site. 

Listen, I'm sure you're not all bad and I know a lot of people really enjoy you for lots of reasons, and that's okay by me.  To each his own.  I just wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings between us because quite frankly, I just don't have the time or energy for you.  Even as I type this letter I am thinking about how messy my living room is and how there are two loads of laundry that have been sitting in baskets for four days now... in a laundry room that is filled with unpacked boxes because we don't have enough storage space in this house.  Or maybe the storage space that I do have is just not organized correctly into brightly painted shoe boxes or something like that.  What I'm really trying to say is that you are exhausting.  I don't have time to pin things that would make my life "easier" but in essence depress me because I don't have the time, talent, or resources to make it happen.  So how about this?  Someday when I find that I have plenty of disposable income, all the time in the world, and have moved into my my perfectly organized dream home decorated by the beautiful crafts that I have made, we can try to get along.  Can we make that work?

Thank you for understanding and for allowing me to distance myself so that I can feel like I'm not a complete failure at life.  If you would like to create an online space for me where I can post pictures of all of my failed attempts at crafting and cooking as well as pictures of my messy house, that might be something I can get in line with.  I think I'd find comfort in networking with others who like me did not get any of those necessary genes.  Until then, I think it's best that we see other people.

Thank you for your time... that you apparently have more of than I do.

Sincerely,

A very busy mom

Disclaimer: I have nothing against Pinterest or anyone who uses it.  I do see its merit for some things, but this answers the "why don't you use Pinterest?" question that I'm asked on occasion.  Just FYI!


PS - I probably should have included the sources for these photos but I honestly do not know where they came from.  Ironically, they were swiped from (gasp!) Pinterest since those of us without accounts can still get limited access.

Biggest Loser and A Heavy Dose of Sarcasm...

I'm not even going to lie... I should not even be allowed to call myself a competitor in this Biggest Loser contest!  I'm not sure why it has been so difficult, but this time around I have not really taken the steps to eat better or work out more.  In fact, I think I've gotten worse!  I could list a million excuses (sick kiddos, Mother's Day, our MomSource event, etc.) which have kept us incredibly busy and offered opportunities to gorge myself on sweets, but it really comes down to a lack of commitment.  I set a goal weight to hit before our beach trip this July and now realize that with five pounds (and some major toning) to go, I'm never going to get there if I don't focus and start today.  So after I get rid of this last piece of cake that has been lingering at our house (because obviously it would be wasteful to just throw it away!) I'm back to reaching for a piece of fruit instead of chocolate and getting my rear end back to the gym (or at least out the front door for a little jog).  Somehow the scale numbers continue to drop little by little (probably due to stress more than anything else!), but I know it's going to catch up to me if I don't make some changes.  So, hopefully I won't be as embarrassed to report my progress next week.  If you see me eating a cookie this week, please slap it out of my hand and then show me a picture of Heidi Klum on the runway four weeks after giving birth to her fourth child.  And I'm suuuuuurrrrrrrrre that there was no tummy tuck involved.

As for this weekend, I should be able to squeeze in a workout because we finally have next-to-nothing on the agenda!  The movers were at my parents' house this week so I'm sure we'll be over there to lend a hand (or make it more difficult by adding two kids into the mix!) at some point.  We also have family photos tomorrow with my uber-talented friend, Cory, from Wilkes Photography and this time I'm setting my expectations very low as to how the kids (and by kids I mean Jake) will do.  Here lately he seems to suddenly become shy (which he is NOT) at the sight of a camera, so hopefully he'll at least look in the general direction at least once.  

As a parent, I've learned not to have some idealistic image of how something is going to go because more than likely I'll end up disappointed.  If you want proof, I should post a copy of the baby dedications at our church last weekend.  In my mind, we would stand there and everyone would "ooh" and "ahh" over my babies as Josh blessed them and presented them to the Lord.  Instead, Lilly screamed every time I tried to hand her to anyone but me and Jake rolled around on the stage because I wouldn't pick him up.  Oh it was a sight!  Thank goodness for my sister who saw my "get up here NOW!" look that I shot her because she swooped in to the rescue... meaning she grabbed Jake and ran out of the auditorium while we wrapped up!  Yes, sweet, peaceful moment indeed!  The good news is that at least we'll color coordinate!  I think I have finally mastered the art of coordinating outfits for family photos, which is really based around finding < BRIGHT! > colors that match and using them in different ways.  You can even use clashing patterns as long as there are some solids to balance it out.  Here is our color scheme:

Now if I can just figure out how to accessorize, I'll be all set.  I for one was not born with that gene.  If anyone has a suggestion or two please throw it my way!  And Josh may end up in a yellow shirt if he chooses.  I give my man options.  Only two, yes, but options nonetheless.  :)

I also plan to hit up the neighborhood yard sale tomorrow in hopes to find some treasures for our house.  We recently rearranged the upstairs and I basically have three new rooms to decorate.  We're really trying to stay on a tight budget, so my plan is to find some goodies and also recycle some of the stuff we own and make it new.  All blogs make it look easy, so I'm sure it will be a piece of cake.  Especially since I'm so darn crafty.  {to be read with a heavy dose of sarcasm}

Other than that it's another Sunday at TurningPoint... and I've lost count at what number this one is, which means that we're not quite so new anymore!  I love Sundays because it's a weekly reminder of why we do what we do.  Each week since launch we've seen new faces, people who swore they'd never step foot in a church, and several salvations.  When our weeks get jam-packed, when my days with the kids seem long, when it feels like we have something scheduled for every night of the week, and when it seems like there is never time to just rest, God makes sure to remind me every single weekend that it's all more than worth it.  What I also know is that when I cry out to Him and beg for rest, He gently whispers, "soon."  I don't know if "soon" means tomorrow or if "soon" means three years from now (which in comparison to a life span, would be soon!), but that's the answer I get every time.  Soon I will find rest, but not today.  Today there is still much work to be done for His kingdom.  I guess I'd better get to it.

Have a great weekend, blog land!  Any fun weekend plans on your horizon?

Body, Mind, and Spirit

So it's official... race season has officially begun and I have no excuses this time around.  I am not pregnant, and although I'm nursing, I'm far enough through the process that if my milk supply depletes due to training I'm okay with it.  My husband has signed up for a few big races and now my girlfriends from Florida (who I miss dearly!) are all planning a girls' race weekend in May.  Pressing the "sign me up" button is proving more difficult than I would have anticipated.

You see, I have this problem.  The last race that I ran was Goofy's Race and a Half Challenge a few months before Josh and I got married.  For those of you who don't understand how crazy I am in the head, that's a half marathon (13.1 miles) on a Saturday and then a full marathon (26.2 miles) the very next day.  I was smart about it and decided to walk most of the half in order to be able to run the full, since that would use some different muscles, and even though I did fall apart from about mile 16-20 in the full, I finished both in a decent time.  The point is, I knew I could do it.  I wanted to do it, to prove to myself that I could.  And if you've ever been with me during a race, you will see a stubborn determined attitude that I don't really display at any other time in my life.

So what's the problem?  I realized the other day that my body is not quite connecting to my mind.  In my mind I am still that girl.  In my mind, I could set my alarm this coming Saturday and go out to run 9 or 10 miles, and even enjoy it!  It's something that I was good at the last time I tried, and I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that my body and my brain are disconnected.  Since that time in my life I have spent the majority of my time pregnant.  As much as it pains me to admit, I'm about ten pounds heavier than I was on that race day.  And quite frankly, there is not even a small part of me that has the motivation to get out there again.  Because I know in my heart of hearts that it will hurt.  And it will not be fun.  And I won't be great at it right away.  Like I said, failure is not an option, and I have found myself in a place where I am afraid to try because I might fail.

I look back on these past 6 months and realize that this is the only area of my life that I have allowed this attitude to creep in.  It's almost comical that I will fret about something as minor as fitness,  yet when Josh wanted to move our family three states over to start a church I didn't hesitate.  In fact, I proposed that we do it sooner because I felt it was the right time.  I was pregnant with our second child knowing full well that there would be three months of very little pay mixed in there.  And this was on top of about six months (minimum) of no pay for Josh!  We had a house to sell in a market that wasn't moving and yet, the idea of it did not scare me one bit.  For the first time in a long time I was nothing but excited.

It's my goal to find that excitement about racing again.  I know that it will be hard, as there have been times in these past months that have been challenging.  I know it won't be fun, just as being home alone with two babies while Josh works 70 hours isn't always fun.  But I know in the end that there will be joy and pride, just as there will be an abundance of that when we launch on February 12th.  For all things that are worth it in life, work is involved.

So this morning I got up earlier than I normally would, laced up the (new!) running shoes, and hit the pavement.  I started out at what I thought would be a slow pace for me.  At about a mile in, I told myself that I only had to make it two.  And then I walked the second mile.  I tried to remind myself that I'm carrying extra weight, have not really worked out hard for over two years, and am not used to running in the cold, but again, my brain and my body were not connecting.  Plus, I was sweating profusely since I have no concept of what to wear in 44 degree weather... I was dressed as if I was heading out to the arctic tundra, which makes sense considering my last real run was in northern Illinois in the winter... so basically the arctic tundra.  Everything hurt- my lungs, my throat, my ears, and I kid you not, even my ponytail.  But as I rounded the corner into our driveway I was satisfied that I had done it.  I put the effort out there, and that's half the battle.

Even through the frustration of it all, I felt at peace.  Kids weren't pawing at me, chores couldn't be done, and my Blackberry was still turned off since my workday had not yet started.  Nobody needed me and I could just think wonderful, lovely thoughts of my own.  I listened to worship music and praised God that I had the ability to do this and (eventually) do it well.  And I asked him for a little bit of motivation.  And that's when I realized that even when my mind and my body are disconnected, the spirit of that runner is still within me.  That spirit is what pulls me through.

I can honestly say that these same struggles apply to my Christian life.  My brain tells me that I should go to to church, read my Bible, pray more, and volunteer.  But on some Sunday mornings after a long weekend, my body decides to rebel.  Or sometimes before bed, I fall asleep while praying because my body is exhausted.  Just like everything else, calling yourself a Christian takes work.  I don't think people like to hear that, but it's true.  For a long time I felt like I was a "bad" Christian because I didn't spring out of bed on a Sunday morning to make sure I had the front row seat.  I would read a chapter of my Bible before giving up because I did not understand what it was saying.  And probably my worst offense is my inability to sit still long enough to pray to to the God who created me.  It sounds silly, but even keeping my eyes closed for three minutes during a prayer seems like work... and that's because it is.  But I've come to realize that it's okay, as long as you're doing the work.  And God, knowing that we humans have this disconnect, was wise enough (I mean, He is God... of course He thought of everything!) to send down his Holy Spirit- that spirit that lives inside us.  And that spirit is always willing... we just need to get our minds and our bodies to stop battling each other and actually listen to it!

Following Jesus is a lot like running (stay with me here).  Or working out for that matter.  In order to make it a habit, you have to stick with it.  You have to train, which takes time and dedication.  Eventually your body will function better and you'll be healthier over all  because you're taking care of it.  The spirit is no different.  You have to dust off that Bible and read it, which takes time and dedication.  Eventually your spirit will function better and be healthier over all because you're taking care of it.  Maybe to be a better runner you have to rid yourself of things that get in the way- junk food, long spells in front of the TV, etc.  Well to get your spirit "in shape" you may have to rid yourself of bad influences, addiction, "friends" that pull you down with them.  It won't be easy.  In fact, at times, it will be downright no fun at all and you'll wonder if it's worth it.  But at the end of this run, when we turn the corner and pull into the driveway, there will be a deep satisfaction because you put the effort out there... and that's half the battle.  And maybe, just maybe, if we keep up the effort and let the Spirit guide us, this journey will end with this:

²¹ “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant!" (Matthew 25:21)

So be encouraged and be blessed in this new year.  Pick a goal and stick with it.  But most importantly, feed the Spirit, and you will be abundantly blessed in return.

And in 15 weeks when I run that first half-marathon in a very long time, remind me to read my own words, okay?  Because a lot of the time, I'm writing them for me, because I need to hear them.

Unfinished Business

Lately I have come to realize that I have gotten really bad at finishing things that I start.  Take this blog for example... I used to post on here regularly and now it seems like it's once in a blue moon.  Granted, I don't feel like I have much blog-worthy stuff to say, but surely I can find something!  Or my Project365 which lasted all of, what?  Three weeks?  Awesome.  Or the P90X workout that I started last summer... let's see, that ended up being about P3X since it lasted a whopping 3 days.  Now I do know that having a kid puts a whole new dimension of time demands on a person, and that comes on top of working a full-time job from home, keeping house, and trying to serve the church a bit as well as my husband, but how much of this slackerness is acceptable?  Let's take a look around the house, shall we?

Ah yes, my office-slash-playroom.  See the curtains on the right side of the room?  Yeah, well I ordered one too-few panels and was supposed to either find someone to chop the existing panel in two and hem the edge or (more likely) get online and order a second panel.  Yeah, neither have been done.  Not to mention that I had grand plans to organize this mess and that hasn't happened yet either.

Which leads me to another room in the house- the spare bedroom and possibly Jake's room when the new baby comes along.  It's hard to see in this tiny picture, but when we painted the room blue, there was a shelf up that I couldn't get down.  So when my father-in-law last visited in December, I had him take it down, fully intending to spackle and paint those spots.  Yup, it's now four months later.  I think it may be about time to "get around to it."

Moving on... our beautiful remodeled bathroom.  By the time we had completed this we were both over it.  Especially Josh.  So I told myself that I would do the touch-up work later.  Yeah well, that was last fall... long before that shelf in the above picture came down.  And there is still orange on the white and the ceiling still needs a top coat of paint.  Just don't look up when you're in this room, okay?

This one actually makes me laugh a little bit because it is a room that is finished, just not in this picture.  I took this picture ages ago as a "before" picture for the blog, have since repainted and redecorated and still have yet to take and post the "after" picture.  Seriously- how hard is that?

 And it's not just house stuff if you're wondering that by now.  It's little things, too.  For example, this is a photo of my Nana's birthday card, still yet to be mailed.  My Nana's birthday was in January!  Not to mention that she's been in the hospital over this past month and I'm sure a little mail would cheer her up.  Ridiculous.

And while I'm on the topic of birthdays, not only did I totally forget to do birthday blog posts for both sisters in March, but both are still waiting on their gifts.  Well, they're not really waiting because we don't expect anything from each other, but I still have yet to get anything in the mail to them (along with some money I owe one of them).  This bag has been sitting on my dining room table mocking me... I just need to get it in a box and mail it already!  And I know exactly what I want to get the other sister and just haven't gone out to pick it up yet.  Another thing on my ever-growing "To Do" list.

As a mom, time really does get away from you more often then not, but when surveying my surroundings lately I've realized that I use this "lack of time" as an excuse!  Even when it comes to the important things such as my daily Bible study, which is now weekly if I'm lucky.  It took me months to finish Numbers, and granted, it's not the most exciting book in the Bible, but it should not have taken nearly that long!  So I've decided I need to hit the "Reset" button and start finishing these things that I've started... no more excuses.  In fact, I'm going to rid my life of excuses all together.  Some things are unavoidable of course- I mean, I can't go to Hawaii if someone asks me because I don't really have the funding for that, but things like that aren't excuses but rather reality.  But when I can, I plan to start being more proactive and persevere until I finish my projects.  We'll see how it goes... I'll keep you posted.  In fact, I think I'm going to start right. this. minute.  So here's my commitment for tonight... this project has been calling my name for some time now:

Gotta go!  Can't put it off any longer!

What projects can you get finished this week?

Blog Woes...

Calling all fellow bloggers!  I was wondering if any of you are having any troubles posting video to your blogs lately?  It seems that every time I try to load one I just get the little spinning wheel at the bottom of the page telling me that Blogger is busy loading my video.  That doesn't ever go away and my video doesn't ever load... it's very strange and a bit frustrating.  Soooo... do any of you have that problem?  If so, is there a setting somewhere that I need to change?  All of them are pretty short clips from my Flip camera, so I can't imagine that they're too big to load.  I successfully loaded the last ones by uploading them to YouTube first, but I'm trying to get around the extra step, so any advice would be appreciated.  The videos I want to post are backing up and making blogging a challenge... I already have to squeeze in my blogging as it is, so these frustrations are not helping!

Ok, that's it... a little blog-venting I guess!  Please help if you've experienced this!  And a always, thanks for reading!  I promise some really good stuff soon!

What do you get...

... when you have a squirmy baby during diaper changes???

a MAJOR baby diaper wedgie!

I didn't even know that was possible. One day he may kill me for this, but it was far too funny not to share.

On another note, sorry for the lack of posts lately... not only have things been crazy busy (as they usually are) but I have also been feeling a bit uninspired. In fact, I've hardly even taken pictures this month! And since I work from home and spend most of my day staring at a computer screen, I have zero motivation before or after work hours to continue to do so. Especially now that my son is doing such uber-cute new things everyday. For those of you who are wondering, yes, he can walk behind his dinosaur toy pictured here... watch out world, it won't be long before this kid is walking! *sigh* If it were up to me, he would crawl forever as I am a huge fan of the crawl. But I'm learning everyday that no matter how hard I try, I just cannot make him stop growing. I remember hearing all the time before I had kids, "oh they just grow up so fast!" and it just seemed like a cliche thing to say. But man, once you have a kid, you really know what they mean! Jake has been with us now for eight months already and I can hardly believe it! But at the same time, I can hardly remember life without him.

Hopefully I'll be out of my blogging funk soon for all of my faithful readers, and seeing as the holidays are coming up, I'm sure there will be plenty to post about. Jake's Pawpaw arrives tonight and will be with us thru Thanksgiving, then before I know it, his Uncle Michael, Auntie Mindy and cousin Adam will be here to celebrate Christmas with us! I think I will have plenty of material in the coming weeks.

Thanks for stopping in, even though I haven't had much to say lately! Next time I'll make sure to include a picture of the kiddo's face... although who can resist that little pinchable tush!?!

The other day I decided to give the dogs a bone, so I looked under the kitchen sink

When I pulled the bone out of the packaging I was a bit confused to find that the filling was gone and the outer shell was only partially in tact

Upon further investigation I found that something had nibbled its way into the bag

Which then made me take a closer look to realize that the mess under my kitchen sink is this little creature's new home.

Ewwwwwwww.....

I wish I could say that the story ends here, but it doesn't. I wish I could say that I did not jump about six feet in the air and scream like a little girl when I saw the culprit scurry behind the bag of dog food, but I can't. I wish I could say that I courageously and responsibly took care of the problem, but I didn't. I wish I could say that the dogs will get fed regardless of the sighting, but I cannot commit to that. What I can tell you is that I am going to love my husband even more than I already do once our unwelcome guest is gone. Ahhhh, the perks of marriage!

Runner's High

It was perfect. The air was crisp, the sun was shining, the Teeny-dog was by my side, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I could run for days. Oh now I remember... this is why I run. This is what I have been missing. This is what it's supposed to feel like.

About six months into my pregnancy I decided to quit my love affair with the sport of running. I was on a jog one day and tripped and fell (in the middle of an intersection no less) and just barely caught myself from taking the brunt of the fall on my growing belly. With my balance out of whack, I hung up the running shoes and resigned myself to waiting until after our son came along to get back at it again. And then he was born, and well, those shoes stayed in the closet. Sure, I tried a couple of times and even blogged about my frustrations, but I was caught in a vicious cycle. I used to love to run because I was good at it. I used to be good at it because I ran a lot. I ran a lot because I loved it. When it came time for me to start back up again, even my three-milers, which used to be an easy-peasy workout, were tough. I was back to square one and did not like that I had to walk during these outings, and therefore I just decided not to go. Even though I had promised myself that I would stick with it, it was easier just to give up on it all together. I even tried to motivate myself with a new pair of shoes and a Garmin (for my husband... which coincidentally would be something I would use, too!) but I still had zero motivation. It wasn't until I was with my sisters earlier this month (goodness, I still need to blog about that trip!) that I made it a full three miles without stopping. It was a fluke, I thought. I had running buddies, so it was no wonder that my brain couldn't talk me into quitting like it normally did.

So this morning, out of nowhere, I decided to give it a whirl. The thermometer said 38 degrees, which sounded oddly appealing to me. 38 degrees meant that I could wear running tights and my favorite Nike dry-fit turtleneck. After Josh requested that I bring my cell phone, I dug through my closet and pulled out my pink fuel belt and secured it around my waist, tucking my cell phone securely in the zip pocket. I even filled up one of the water bottles just in case. And instead of just walking to the end of the driveway and heading off toward the park, I hopped in the car and drove to a running trail that I've always seen, but never actually took the time to go check out. With my favorite running gear on I felt the part again. This is the stuff that I used to get oddly excited about. This is the stuff that made me feel more like a seasoned runner when I needed a little motivation. These are the silly things that get me amped up about a race, or just the sport in general.

Teeny and I hopped out of the car and off we went. I decided to take her because she has so much energy in the cooler weather and if anything, she was pulling me at first. From the very first step it was as if my body suddenly remembered what to do again. My feet were moving mechanically, one in front of the other, and my brain could wander aimlessly or focus on the song that was playing. I thought about how lucky I am to have a body that can do this and how important it is to stay healthy for my son. I thought about how wonderful my husband is for getting up early most mornings so that I can get that extra hour of sleep. I praised God for the glorious weather and the clean air that filled my lungs. And I kept going even when my stopwatch said that I had gone as far as I had been planning on going. By the end, Teeny was lagging a bit behind and I couldn't help but smile.

These are the reasons that I run... I do it because even though I forgot for awhile, I do love it. Today I ran for me. I wasn't training for anything or thinking about getting baby weight off. I knew from the start that it was okay if I needed to stop and take a breather. It was simply 37 minutes of pure me-time... me left with my own thoughts and not having to worry about a baby getting into something or a husband needing someone to listen and bounce ideas off of. Yes, I love those things about this life I live, but I had forgotten how nice it is to just have solitude- just me and my naughty dog, and the open road ahead of me. It was the most perfect start to my day.

I look back on all of the years I spent training and the runs that stick out for me are those that were purely for me. I definitely enjoyed all of the long runs with my sister when we were training for something or another, but the ones that always come back to me are days like today. Days when I'm all by myself and I see a double rainbow, and I feel like God put it there for only me to enjoy. Days when I cover six or eight miles on auto-pilot and by the end, I can hardly even remember what got me through it, but marveled at how my body just robotically gets me there. Days when the sun is setting over a cow pasture (back when we had cow pastures near my old house) and time just seems to stand still. Days when my brain produced such poetic thoughts that I wished they were recorded so that I could go back and read them afterwards. In fact, this post was basically writing itself this morning as I cruised down the trail. All of these are me-moments, and they remind me that I love to run for these moments.

I can't guarantee that I will be back out there tomorrow or signing up for a race anytime soon, but I do know that I finally feel like a little part of me is coming back. A part of me that I missed, but wasn't sure how to reclaim. Today as I climbed back in my car, I might as well have had a medal around my neck. In comparison to past races that I've finished, my time and distance were minimal, but I had that same sense of accomplishment that comes when crossing a finish line. Somewhere along the way I forgot that I do this because I love it, and I never want to go back to doing it for any other reason. Especially now with a husband and a baby at home, I need to remember that it's okay to do it for me.

To Tie You Over...

Okay, okay, so I know I've been HORRIBLE about updating my Mauneyland readers this past month! Now that I'm back at work, I feel like I'm in front of my computer all day long busting my hump so that I can be a good mommy whenever the little one is up and needing attention. So when I have some "me time" (yeah, like that ever happens!) there is no part of me that wants to sit in front of the computer. But enough with my lame excuses.... I'm here to at least tie you over until I can properly post a few things from the past month. I've heard complaints from 3 different people that I haven't shared anything new from my cutie-pie son, so to make up for it, you're not getting pictures, you're getting videos! Granted, everytime he's smiley and laughing, I don't think to pull out of the camera until we're on the verge of Senor Crankypants making an appearance. Compound that with the fact that Jake stares at the camera as if trying to figure out what it is rather than continuing to smile and laugh, and we get some pretty serious-faced pictures and videos. But regardless, he's still adorable. So here you go!

So as I said, there are more posts coming (let's call it a blogging bananza... or not) to include our trip to Florida (since mom asked, "So when are you going to blog about your Florida trip?" She wants to hear all about it, but last I checked, she was there and should be the one who knows all of the details! Sorry, Mom, just giving you a hard time), hopefully I can get Josh to post something about his trip to Brazil, Josh Van's birthday post (yes, this should be posted today), and our July 4th festivities since we have some fun plans. Stay tuned!

Think Fast

Are you like me and need the start of something to actually start something? Perhaps it's because summer is now here or because my maternity leave is coming to an end (tear.... well, lots of them actually), but I have had this enormous urge to reprioritize my life. I feel like it's time to be a better wife, a better mom, a better servant in the community, and a better Christian. I quickly learned how easy it can be to get lazy as I spent many of my maternity leave days planted on the couch, and even though I know that there were good reasons for those days, it helped me see how much time I can waste in a day. And how much more I could be doing if I just stopped complaining that I don't have the time and actually make or find the time. So after much consideration I have decided to go on a fast. At our church, we fast for the first part of the year (21 days of prayer and fasting) so that we can give the first part of our year to God and focus on what it is He is calling us to do. The fast does not have to be food; in fact, most people don't fast food. At that time we are encouraged to give up something that gets in the way of God's calling- a distraction if you will. So I am taking that concept and applying it to the start of the second half of the year.

The other day I realized that I definitely have a TV line-up. I wake up, usually catch the end of Good Morning America, watch Regis and Kelly while recording the Bonnie Hunt Show, fast forward through most of the Bonnie Hunt Show only stopping on the segments that interest me, catch two episodes of Friends, and then the remote lands me on HGTV for the rest of the day. On top of this, I've begun to realize that when Josh gets home from work we tend to eat dinner (usually in front of the tube) and then proceed to watch several recorded programs thus hardly speaking to one another. It's a rut that I could easily live without. So after much careful consideration, I have officially put myself on a TV fast for the entire summer. Crazy I know. The major part of the fast is during the day, when I should be getting things done while the little one naps (or napping myself), but I've determined that if the hubs is watching a program in the evening, I can be in the same room but need to be working on something else as well. So I will sit and read a book (preferably one with some substance and not something like Twilight, which I still refuse to read due to sheer stubbornness) or blog (hence why I've blogged two days in a row! now) or run around the house like a mad woman working on laundry, dishes, or whatever odd jobs I can find to do. We'll see how this goes.

I will say that after three days of this, I.AM.EXHAUSTED. Seriously. I guess I've grown accustomed to feeding the little guy and then finishing my program and spending much more time on the couch than I should. But for the past three days I've been up and on my feet for much of the day, working on something or another while he snoozes. I've tilled the front garden (tilled is a new word for me... I had no idea what that meant until we bought a house with a front garden!), did three loads of laundry, paid the bills, made dinner all three nights (and not just Hamburger Helper either!), blogged (obviously), went for a walk two out of the three days, ran errands, and took Jake swimming just to name a few activities. Yes I feel like Supermom. Yes I need a nap. But yes I am satisfied with what I have accomplished at the end of my day. So with this new "found" time I plan to continue all of the activities mentioned above, plus read my Bible more, work out more (or just work out period), do things for others, and find ways to serve my husband on a daily basis. It's pretty simple really and I will post updates as to how it is going and changing our daily life. And yes, this is a much easier sacrifice now that American Idol is over. :)

Anyway, that is the random unloading of my brain for the evening. I'm off to bed... after I run downstairs to switch the laundry and fold the clothes from the dryer. A Supermom's job is never complete. I hope I gave you something to think about though... what could you be cutting out that is getting in the way of what He wants you to do? Think about it.