Reflections - Break My Heart for What Breaks Yours

Oh Thursday Reflection time, I missed you!  It was nice to be unplugged for a week, but I realized that two weeks is just too long to go without this time.  And I was welcomed back with this verse to meditate one:

"If you claim to be religious but don't  control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.  Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you."  -James 1:26-27

A few things stick out to me here... the first being the word "claim" vs. the word "caring."  It's the difference in stating that we are Christians and actually being the hands and feet of Jesus and doing the work of the Lord.  It's like this... my husband is in the last month of training for an IronMan triathlon right now.  For those of you not familiar, this is a 2 mile swim followed by a 112 bike ride followed by a 26.2 mile run all in a row.  This will take him somewhere in the ballpark of 15 hours, and many people attempt it and don't finish.  He has been training for over six months, buying and reading books on training plans, gear, and nutrition.  He gets his bike tuned up, he fuels his body with the right things, and is spending up to 20 hours a week sometimes working out.  So what's my point?  Well, he's equipping himself to do well at this event.  He could "claim" to be an IronMan without actually doing the race and people would probably believe him.  Or, he could even read all of this information and not apply it, not train, and just show up and try to wing it and be miserable.  For so many of us, that is what our Christian walks have been.  We "claim" to be a Christian and people obviously believe us, but what we do on a day to day basis does not show that.  We might even read the Bible, but we don't live it out by serving others daily, showing compassion, helping those in need, and spreading the Gospel.  As Josh would say, "sitting in a pew on Sunday mornings makes you no more of a Christian than sitting in my garage makes you my jeep."  We can do all of the acts of what we think is expected of us a Christian (church, Bible studies, etc.) but until the Holy Spirit really burns inside of us and breaks our hearts for what breaks God's hearts AND moves us to action (that's the really important last step), I feel like we shouldn't even make the claim. Being a Christian is all about the DOING.

Case in point... I grew up claiming to be a Christian, went to church, had all of the knowledge, could tell you most of the Gospel story, and believed that it did all go down like that in history.  But honestly, I lived for ME.  What I wanted, what satisfied ME.  I was my own God.  There was no part of me that felt a pull at my heart strings when I thought about the world's homeless population, widows or orphans, and I kept myself shielded from the sadness of the world on purpose.  Out of sight, out of mind.  I can tell beyond a shadow of a doubt that it has all been changing for me over these past four or five years.  When something moves me, I am compelled to try and do SOMETHING, even if it's just give money, and I never feel like that's enough.  As a church planter, my heart breaks for those who just don't "get it" yet, because I know what they're missing out on.  I look back on the years when I thought I had it all together and I realize now how much I was hurting.  I really was lost, but I couldn't figure out what was missing because I thought I had it.  Does that make sense?

About two weeks ago I talked on the phone with my college roommate.  We've been in touch through Facebook, but haven't heard each other's voices in a long time.  Somehow we got on the topic of our faith and she said it so well when she stated, "Kim, we really thought that we were good Christian girls, but how did we miss the whole thing?"  In the end, it was actually one of the best conversations I've had in a long time- we were like two "before" and "after" pictures who knew each other well in both situations.  I am so thankful for friends like her... she gets it and her heart breaks for those who don't.  Josh and I planted a church for that reason... we used to be on the other side of this understanding and realize how much better our lives are now that we have a true relationship with our God.  Planting this church was our "living it out."

But you know what you'll find?  Once you start, it won't be enough.  You'll want to help MORE.  You'll want to give MORE.  You'll want to do MORE.  It's a hunger that can never be satisfied. So you will find the people who use that as a crutch or an excuse.  You know the line, "well it's not like we can adopt all of the children in Africa, so what's the point of just taking one?"  Well you know what?  That ONE kid will be forever grateful!  That ONE person's life matters, just like YOUR life matters, right?  Are you saying that your life is more valuable than that one child in Africa?  And if nobody does anything at all then you know what?  You're right- we won't find a home for all of the children, but shouldn't we at least try to make a dent?  God commanded us to take care of the orphans and widows... did you know that if 7% of people who "claimed" they were Christian adopted ONE child, the world's orphan problem would go away?  That is shocking!  In a church of 100, that's only 7 people.  We run about 300 on the weekends, so we should see about 21 families moving toward this goal.  What if we all stopped claiming and actually started doing??  Now that's a world I want to live in!

Okay, so apparently this fired me up a little more than I thought it would.  It definitely struck a chord in me, that's for sure. And you're probably thinking, "well if that's your solution, then why don't YOU adopt a child?"  And the funny thing is that before we found out we were pregnant with Lilly, we were trying.  We knew it could take years so we started the process and even had a few interviews.  We started running into several obstacles and before we could get too frustrated we realized we were expecting.  Shortly after that, God laid it on our hearts that it was time to bring Josh's vision for TurningPoint Church to life.  It was not God's will for us at that time, but we both still feel that it is His will for us in the future.  I feel down to my core that there is a little baby out there waiting for us... whether or not he or she has been born yet or whether or not he or she is from the US or another country I do not know.  Whether or now we will adopt this child or simply foster this child I do not know.  But I do know that since I try and "Live it out" this gut feeling is a real thing- I must do something about it and when God says "move" I'll move.  I've shared that feeling with my family, but never publicly like this, but I must say it's kind of freeing.  It's like publicly announcing that, "Yes, God, I do trust You and I know You have this."  It feels good.

There was more that I was going to share on this topic, but I think I'll stop here for today.  Make sure you jump over to read Brittany's post at Daughter... Wife... Mom... Sis and leave your blog url in the comments section if you joined us this week.  Reading these posts is one of my favorite things to do.

As for next week....

I can't help but still be shaken up by the events that happened in Aurora, CO this past weekend.  I of course am saddened to my core for the victims and their families, but I am also so very troubled by the shooter.  What must he have been going through to get there?  But even more than that, I have to wonder why nobody saw this coming.  Did he have no friends?  Did nobody know him well enough to see that he was going off of the deep end?  And clearly nobody had been to his apartment since it was filled with explosives.  We'll of course never know the full story and we'll never understand.  In fact, I don't think we're supposed to understand, but he clearly did not have anyone in his life who truly knew him, could reach out to him, worry about him, or potentially prevent this horrible tragedy.

The Bible speaks a lot about accountability and being relational.  In fact, God's only true commandments to us were to love God and love people:

Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment.And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'(Matthew 22:37-39)

Not only this, but we should also surround ourselves with people who can build us up and hold us accountable, making sure we are living it out and encouraging one another in Christ:

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." (Proverbs 27:17)

This week I want us to praise the people in our lives that "sharpen" us- who continuously challenge us to be better versions of ourselves and hold us accountable.  I hope that we all having someone (or many someones) in our lives who do this.  If you don't want to be specific with names you don't have to be... or you can maybe share a story from your life when someone challenged you and led you away from temptation.  This verse is the heartbeat behind these weekly "Reflections" posts and Brittany and I started them as a way to (from a distance) continue to sharpen one another and encourage others to join us to do the same.  I hope you'll post on this next week!

Reflections - Gut Check!

Sooo... our weekly reflections post was a challenge to update others on how you're doing in your daily walk with God.  Yikes.  Last Thursday when that challenge was posted I thought, "oh this is so great!  THIS is what's going to keep me on track!"  And I have to admit... it did for a few days.  For about four days I made sure to do my daily devotional right when I woke up and it was wonderful.  I really felt like it started my day off on the right foot and put my mind and heart in the right condition to really make the most of the day I had been given.  And then like anything else... I fell right back into my "busy" routine.  Because of my growing to-do list, my daily quiet time kept getting further and further down on the list of priorities until it eventually just did not happen.  And so this morning, I hang my head in embarrassment as I come here to reveal that I still have a long way to go to be the Christian that God wants me to be.  More importantly though, I still have a long way to go to be the Christian that I know I can be!  My heart desires it more than anything and it's the discipline that I struggle with.  Schedules, routines, regimens, etc. have never been my strong suit, which is strange because I am the daughter of a retired Army colonel!  My schedule is different just about every day... I don't even get up at the same time everyday but just prefer to wake when I hear the little ones.  I typically go downstairs, feed and play with them while having my morning coffee and watching some sort of morning show and then get them dressed for their various activities that day.  I sometimes have to take a break from this to check my work emails and respond to anything that needs immediate action, depending on what time the day started.  From there, it's all a blur.  I work, do laundry, clean house, run the kids from here to there, shower (most days... and usually not until around lunch time), grab a snack or two (but rarely a full meal in the middle of the day), and sometimes run a quick errand.  So you see?  God gets lost in the midst of this "important" stuff.  Aside from spending quality time with my kids and doing my job well, the rest is seriously just junk that gets in the way.  It can wait, can't it?

So what's the point?  What can we do to see past the junk and get to the bread of life everyday?  Well, I've been thinking a lot about it... what wisdom can I offer when I don't even have it right myself?  And here's what I've come up with:

Fasting is a Biblical principle and something we see throughout history, mainly when a person wants to have a big transformation in their lives.  About twice a year, I do some sort of fast, one being giving up television completely, which reminds me of how unimportant "my shows" are.  The other has to do with some sort of food, which is more along the lines of what you find in the Bible.  The idea is to give up something that has a stronghold on you- that thing that gets in the way of your relationship with Christ.  The cool thing with anything having to do with food is that your hunger pains are physical reminders to pray or seek God... so that relationship grows.  While I am not suggesting that we all start fasting (although if you've never done something like it and want to grow your faith, I do recommend one), my new "hunger pang" is going to be chores... hang with me for a second.  Every night after I put the kids to bed, I run around like a crazy person putting all of the toys away and straightening the house.  I love to go to bed with a clean kitchen and feel like I sleep better.  So my commitment instead is going to be that before I can get to that, I need to sit down and have my personal time with our heavenly Father.  If He truly is more important than my messy house like I say He is, then any time I want to tackle a household chore, He needs to come first, whether that's taking my daily time with Him or saying a prayer, or just giving Him a few minutes of praise for all He has given me.  In the evenings, I do realize that I might come to a point where I'll spend my time and be too tired to clean up (gasp!) but you know what?  That mess will be there in the morning to tackle and kids are just going to pull it all out again anyway.  And I'm generally so tired at the end of a long day, that I doubt the mess is REALLY going to mess up my sleep.  In fact, I think I may rest easier knowing that my spirit has been fed.  I do realize that all of this adds up to discipline, which I self-admittedly am not good at, but rather than being a scheduled thing, it's more of a "hunger pang" thing, so I'm hoping that does me some good.  And for additional accountability, I'll give a weekly update on how that's going.  Deal?

Brittany posted her amazing thoughts on this topic over at her blog Daughter... Wife... Mom... Sis, and I have to tell you, it's pretty awesome.  She gives us glimpses into her journal and I think they will really bless you.  I'm thinking I need to start doing that to track my thoughts and progress like she does! And if you shared with us, please leave a comment!

As for next week, I'd hate to double up on a topic, but since we all just admitted that this is something we need to get better at, the challenge is to do another weekly update on your progress.  Maybe we'll make this some sort of 21 day thing, since that's how long it takes to make something a habit.  Put some of these new ideas and methods into place and see if that helps, and share with us on where you're at, what is working, and what is not working.  I also do not want to post a deeper topic than this because I'm not 100% sure that I'll be blogging this week as we leave for vacation tomorrow (wooo-hooooo!).  But I do promise to do my update when I get back if I don't get around to it this week.  Cool?

As always, thanks for reading and sharing and for the encouragement and accountability.  We rarely get comments on these things so I'm not sure if they bless you at all, but I can speak for Brittany when I say that we love coming together on Thursdays in this way.  She's in Colorado and I'm in Kentucky, but we're sisters in Christ and the distance doesn't matter.  Have a wonderful week of seeking, praying, and hopefully growing in Christ.

As for me?  This chick needs to get packed... sunshine and sand, here I come!

Reflections - Just Do It!

Happy 5th of July!  Having a holiday mid-week really through a wrench in my organizational skills, but it was a nice day off nonetheless... more to come on that... along with a catch up on what we've been up to and where we've been for the past two weeks.  Summertime does not mean slower-time for this family- we're running just as fast as always!  But let's get down to it, shall we?

This week's topic was based on a message that my husband preached last week from the book of James.  If you did not get a chance to check it out, you can view it online here, and the week 2 message is up now, too, if you are at all interested.  There was so much good "meat" in this message, so I thought it would be best to just hone in on a couple major points so that I don't write a blog post that would take you two hours to read.

The first, is applications.  So you claim to be a Christian, eh?  Did you know that Christian basically means "little-Christ"?  So if I asked you what you were doing on a day-to-day basis to be like Christ and show His love to others, would you be able to give me several examples?  What about reading the Bible?  Are you actively in the Word?  Are you tithing?  Are you praying?  ... Let me say this before I go any further: these questions are just as much for me as for anyone else.  Although I am married to a pastor, I can put all kinds of "priorities" in my life above these that I just listed.  It pains me to type these words, but I have to admit that I do not read my Bible everyday.  Eek!  And you know what?  There are days that I get in bed and realize that I did not speak to God all day!  And then I look back at my day and you know what I see?  That the "priorities" I put in front of those things were running around like a crazy person picking up groceries, cleaning up toys, doing laundry, and doing the everyday mundane things that are inevitably going to need to get done again tomorrow.  Cleaning up after two kids is like shoveling snow in a blizzard... so why should I focus so much of my attention on that when the creator of the universe is patiently waiting on me to come to Him?  I think I forget what a privilege that is.  I mean, think about it: the most powerful force in the entire universe wants my company?  He wants to bless me?  And He wants to do it even though I don't love Him and serve Him perfectly?  If the President of the United States or maybe even a famous actor, sports player, or public figure wanted my company, wouldn't I drop just about everything to see that it happened?  Wouldn't I let the laundry sit for another hour or two or the house go messy for a day so that I could work that out?  And yet, someone FAR more powerful and important than all of those things beckons me to Him everyday and I brush Him off sometimes.  "Give me five more minutes, God," or "Let me finish these dishes, God" or "I'm not ready to get up, God... You made me and understand that I need my sleep rather than getting up to spend some time with You" always get in the way.  Sound familiar?

And then there's the other issue of reading that book of His.  In order to be like Christ (so a Christian in other words), don't we have to know what He said and did while He was here?  And isn't that all written down for us?  I know as well as anyone that the Bible is an intimidating book.  It's big, and it doesn't use the same flow of language that we use in everyday conversation.  But as Josh points out in this message, there are so many different version and translations of the Bible, so you can always try a different one if the one you have isn't working.  I feel silly in saying that until about five years ago, I did not know that there was anything other than the King James Version!  No wonder I was confused!  So if you take nothing else from his message this week, I at least hope you walk away knowing that there are resources out there to help you understand what it is that He is trying to say to You.  We speak to Him through prayer... He speaks through us in His word.  How can we live it if we don't read it?

He summed it all up with this one verse found in James chapter 1 (imagine that!):

22 But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.23 For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror.24 You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like.

Josh puts it in language that we will definitely understand: "Don't just hear it, but DO it!" 

How often do we know what to do, but yet we go the other way?  And how often does that turn out the way we'd like it to?  Hardly ever.  So let's try it together... let's do the things that we already know, learn what we don't, and try them out, too.  Make TIME for God, for He is the giver of time... shouldn't He get some?  And put Him first, because He always puts you first.  Start making choices based on His word and see how your life begins to change.

As always, you can read Brittany's thoughts over on her blog here and leave your own thoughts as a comment.  Appropriately, Brittany picked next week's topic that falls right in line with this.  Coincidence?  I think not.  So here's the topic for next Thursday:

"I have been challenged to my core recently to really evaluate how good I am doing with "living it out" so I pose the question....how are you doing???  I'd like for us to focus on this for next week.  And share along the lines for some accountability what is working and what may not be working right now.  And I'd like for the MAIN IDEA to be that of "cooperation and discipline"...what do you think??"

So let's live it out together this week.  I'm particularly excited about sharing what works for you so that hopefully some of it can be applied to my own life.  And just like every Thursday, I look forward to meeting you all again here next week.

Reflections - Leadership

Good morning, y'all (that's right... I said it.  I have officially lived in Kentucky for a year so it's time I start using the lingo!).  Did you have a chance to listen to the podcast posted by Brittany last week?  If not, you can find it here.  And if not, I encourage you to jump over there and listen because Christine Caine (the speaker) really knows her stuff and is such an inspiration to men and women all over the world.  For those of you who have never heard of her, she and her family have been in ministry for a long time, but their main focus now is their A21 Campaign, which works to abolish sex trafficking all over the world.  Talk about taking on a really big, ugly problem, right?  And I am embarrassed to admit that until I heard her speak at a conference, I really had no idea how horrific and HUGE this issue is.  Did you know that there are an estimated 20 million people (mostly women and children) imprisoned by slavery today?  Against their will?  From child labor to prostitution, people are still being sold and shipped like cargo to live in bondage and I sit here in the comfort of my cozy living room and complain when my husband has to work late or my children won't nap!  It really puts things into perspective, doesn't it?  Okay, so I did not mean to go into that too much today, but if you did not know about this atrocity that is still occurring worldwide, I encourage you to look into it.  Knowledge is power and bringing awareness to any problem only works toward finding a solution.  And that's what I love about Christine Cain... she refuses to just sit back and let this happen... which brings me to my point today.

You only have to listen to her speak for about two minutes before you hear the point that I'm going to post on today.  She begins to talk about her 5 top qualities for leadership and although all five are great (conviction, confidence, commitment, consistency, and courage), one jumped out at me.  When she talks about confidence, I love that she specifically defined it as "confidence in Christ."  We've probably all been to leadership seminars in our lives, and even though confidence is probably touched upon, have you ever heard it expanded not just to confidence in ourselves and our own abilities, but confidence in Christ.  In God... who created the heavens and the earth and breathed life into you and me.  And ultimately, we can only have confidence in ourselves because all of our gifts and abilities come from Him.  But how many times do we shy away from something because we don't think we're good enough?  Maybe we don't apply for a job because we don't feel qualified or don't join in a discussion because we don't feel smart enough?  It's in these times that we need to take a step back and realize that we can only have confidence in ourselves if we first have confidence in Christ.

A good friend of mine has been going through a lot lately and it has been taking a toll on her emotionally.  Anytime we don't know the outcome of something, it opens the door to the what-if's and she found herself there, which is not a fun place to be.  I listened to her without much advice to give other than just to wait and see, but wish I had more.  Later that day I went home and opened up a new book we just bought for Jake called "Jesus Calling: 365 Devotions for Kids" just to skim some of the content.  First off, let me just say that I love this book.  He's still a little young for it, but even though it's geared toward children, I am getting so much out of it!  I think we complicate things as adults, so getting back to the basics is kind of nice sometimes.  But anyway, I "coincidentally" opened it up to the page that had these words:

"I am all around you.  Even when you don't notice Me, I am here.  you may not notice Me because your mind is tied up with other things.  Like worry.  A lot of people believe that worry is just a part of life.  But they are wrong.  Worry is actually a kind of unbelief.  Worrying says you don't believe I am big enough to take care of whatever it is that upsets you so much.  Worrying says you think I need your help.

Wrong!  I am big enough.  I am strong enough.  I love you enough.  Bring your problems to Me.  You can trust Me to take care of you- and whatever you are worrying about!"

I immediately called her back and read that to her... and then later emailed it.  The words that struck me here are "You don't believe I am big enough to take care of whatever it is that upsets you so much."  Ouch.  Do you ever find yourself there?  Without... wait for it... CONFIDENCE in Christ?  How can we believe that we can accomplish anything if we don't always believe (and know!) that God can do anything.  And not only that, but He can do anything THROUGH us.  We are his hands and feet and the only way He can do good in this world is to use us to do His work.  Which ultimately means that we are far more equipped than we even think, so sometimes we just have to step out of our comfort zone and just go for it!  If we just believed with all our might that we can be used in big ways, we really can be a light into the world and change it for the better.  One of my husband's favorite sayings is, "God does't call the equipped... He equips the called."

Is there something in your life that absolutely bugs you?  Something that breaks your heart that you wish could change?  It could be big or small... not all of us have to be as brave as Christine Cain to tackle a global issue (yet anyway... hee hee) yet there has to be something in your world that could be better.  Taking what we learned last week in this podcast, along with the words found in John 16:33, how can YOU use these things to make a difference?  How can YOU begin to change the world, or even just your current situation if you're unhappy with it?  Draw confidence in CHRIST this week and join us again here next week to share.

Please make sure to visit Brittany over at Daughter...Wife...Mom...Sis to read her take on this week's topic and then link up below or leave a comment to share your own thoughts!

Reflections - Prayer

What a week it has been... man oh man has God been at work on me.

Let me start at the beginning...

About three weeks ago I found myself at a point where I was really overwhelmed.  I am frequently on a soap box here encouraging others to ask for help or to give something up instead of overloading themselves.  I'd also blog about how busy our life was, but how much joy we were getting out of the busy-ness.  But do you know what was actually happening?  Life was getting busier and busier, and I was getting farther and farther away from God.  To the point that I physically could not talk to Him.  I would try of course, but I literally felt uncomfortable when I tried to pray.  To you that may seem silly, but it was born out of my own knowledge that I was not seeking Him daily.  Or even weekly to be honest.  I was writing these weekly posts and that was about the extent of it.  So when I'd go to pray, I felt like it was not heartfelt and that God would not like that.  And that made me feel a bit... well... dumb really.  I happen to know deep down that God likes all prayers, whether they are silent meditations or quick little snippets in a quiet moment throughout the day, but for me, I could not settle my spirit enough to bring any meaningful words to Him.  The noise all around me was just too loud and even when I tried I could not block it out and just focus on Him.  And that made me feel guilty, too, and pushed me farther away.  And I hated it.  I knew deep down something wasn't right.

So you know what I decided?  Instead of just going to Him and seeking His help (like I encourage you all to do each week... and still stand firm in that encouragement, by the way, but sometimes need to take my own advice) I decided that I should probably give something up;  something that was sucking up my personal time.  So as you might have guessed, my blog is what was almost put on the chopping blog.  I say "almost" because my mind has since been changed on this decision, but I'll get to that in a minute.  So yes, a few weeks ago I decided that I'd stick it out for a few more weeks and then I'd shut her down.  I didn't have time for it and even though it's something I love to do, I didn't feel like it was a valuable use of my time.  My mind was made up.

Then we posted on humility last week.  I have to admit, that verse ("Humble yourself before the Lord and He will lift you up" ~James 4:10) resonated with something deep inside of me.  I had at some point over the course of the past few months taken on an "I-can-do-it-all-without-You" attitude and hadn't even realized it.  But after I wrote my post on humility, it was as if that verse took a tiny little hammer and started chiseling away at whatever wall I had managed to build between me and God.  And then I posted that this week's topic would be prayer.  (I'm getting to my point... I promise... just bear with me).

Fast forward to Friday of last week.  Josh and I had plans to go out of town and I felt like we had a million things to get done before we left.  My car was in the shop and Josh's dad came by to pick him up to go get it.  Without me asking, he said that he'd go ahead and take the kids with them so I could wrap up my work for the week.  Perfect.  The door shut behind them and I went back up to my office and sat in front of my computer, fully intending to get some work done.  But instead, reveling in the silence for a few moments, I procrastinated and perused a few blogs.  I have a few that I frequent and one is written by a girl I went to college with who has over 1000 followers.  She generally blogs about her life, fashion, and events... a light read and something to break up the monotony of my day.  But on this particular day, she posted about her faith.  Do not ask me why, but reading that post broke me down.  I sat there and sobbed because she was posting on something that I had been trying to get across to people- that God fills a void in our lives and turns things around for the better like nothing else can.  Only she had 1000+ people reading it!  And then I felt guilty (again) for feeling this way because again, it's not about me.  It's not about how many followers I have.  But I guess in that moment I confirmed (in my own mind) that my words out here in blog-land don't really make a difference.  That nobody even really reads this.  It was my own sick, twisted "woe is me" moment.  Plus, I should have rejoiced that someone with a big following who never posts about that aspect of her life was sharing the good news about God.  Again, sick and twisted.

But this is what I love about God.  Sometimes it takes us coming to our breaking point for Him to give us a breakthrough.  In the quiet of the house I prayed like I haven't prayed in a very long time (between sobs) for Him to take that feeling of "it's about me" away.  I begged Him to not let me feel silly or stupid or half-hearted every time I tried to pray.  I prayed for my kids and my husband, something I should be doing every day.  I prayed for every single person in the church and for the ones I haven't met yet.  I prayed for friends who are going through difficult times, because I told them I would and want to make good on that promise.  Besides, I know prayer works... I have seen it time and again in my own life, so the least I can do is pray for others.  I think I cried and prayed out every ounce of self-pity that I could have possibly found within me and asked Him to take it.  I don't want it any more and I cannot carry it around with me.  It's not welcome here... He can have it and I know He can handle it better than I can on my own.  And when I said my "Amen," the crying stopped.  Just like that.  It was strange, because I am pretty much the ugliest cry-er around, but when Josh returned he couldn't even tell.  I had to fill him in later all about my breakdown.

We went out of town Friday night to celebrate our anniversary a little early and had a a great time getting away from it all.  And when I got back, I noticed that not one, but two people had linked up on our Reflections post last week, which was a first.  It was as if God was saying, "look... people do read this and want to help minister to others, too!"  And then I got a Facebook message from someone I hadn't talked to in awhile thanking me for a post that was helping her through a difficult time.  Alright, God... you have my attention.  And then here's the kicker: I met a lady at the church who showed up on a Sunday morning because a friend of hers in Illinois reads my blog and knew she lived here in town and should come check out the work we're doing.  Say what??  Okay, God... now you're just showing off!  :)

This whole story may sound silly and petty to you... but it was the absolute confirmation that I needed.  He came through.  He always does... but He was just waiting for me to ask.  I made the decision to give up blogging on my own and He answered with a "Had you just asked me, I would have shown you sooner to stick with it."  I do write this blog for me and it is something that I am passionate about and love doing, but He showed me that it does matter to others, too, even if it's just a handful of people.  And that's okay with me because even if it just helps one person, that person matters.  I also realized that until I do prioritize my time and find ways to cancel out the noise for a few moments everyday to seek Him out, He's not going to give me a bigger following (which is not what it's all about... like I just said).  If I'm not pouring His word into myself, why should He trust me to be able to pour into others?  An empty pitcher cannot fill up any cups- it's as simple as that.  I read a book by the incredible Lynne Hybels (look her up if you've never heard of her) and she illustrated the most perfect word picture:

She wrote something to the effect of if you're juggling all kinds of balls in the air trying to keep them all close to God, don't forget that you're then the farthest away.  We try to hold our husbands up, keeping them nearer to God.  We definitely try and keep our kids way up there, showing them God everyday.  And maybe we serve at church or lead a team and try and keep that one up there, too.  But when you're holding everything above yourself to keep them nearer to God, you're the one left at the bottom... farthest away from Him.  All of these things ultimately get in the way of our direct connection with our Father if we're not careful in how we juggle.

So this week, I hope you can cancel out the noise in your life for a moment or two each day to lift up your praise and needs to God.  He doesn't need some eloquent speech either... just talk to Him like you would a friend, because that it who He is.  If He is truly our father in heaven, you can come to Him when you're busy, tired, scared, happy, or confused.  He just wants you to seek Him out.  Whether it's down on your knees or driving down the road, talk to Him... bring your worries, problems, frustrations, and doubts to Him.  He's always there and always waiting.

 ²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  (Matthew 11:28-30)

Thank you for being a bit of an emotional dumping-ground for me today.  I usually do not get this personal here, but I think if we all just got real with one another we'd realize that we're not alone in our times of doubt and self-pity.  My problems are small compared to many, but I am a work in progress just like everyone else.

For a different take on the topic, please visit Brittany over at Daughter... Wife... Mom... Sis for her insights.  And of course, if you posted on the topic, please leave a comment or link up below.  And whether you like it or not, this blog is not going anywhere for awhile!

Brittany picked the topic for this week and I am excited about it... if you've never heard of Christine Caine, look her up RIGHT. NOW.  She is incredible and has done amazing things through her ministry career and the A21 campaign.  Here's what Brittany posted:

I would like for us to listen to this podcast by Christine Caine.  It was recommended to me last week by a friend and I'm so thankful for the timely encouragement and challenge that came with me listening to it!  Enjoy this amazing woman of God...
Christine Caine - Women in Leadership Principles 
 

Reflections - Humility

"Humble yourself before the Lord and He will lift you up." (James 4:10)

There could not have been a more perfect verse for me this week.  Or this past month really.  When I saw that this was the chosen topic for this week's Reflections post, I knew that I needed this verse this week.  James is probably my favorite book of the Bible and I've read it several times, but I think I've just skimmed over these particular words in the past.  Thankfully because of this post, I had to sit and chew on it for awhile this week.

This verse comes at an appropriate time because we are approaching the one year anniversary of our move here.  We did not have a Lexington address until August, but in June of 2011 we packed our car with suitcases and moved in with my sister and her family for awhile.  It was official- we were embarking on our church planting adventure.  And over the course of this past year we have done just that... planted. The phrase "church planting" makes it sound so simple.  I mean, how hard is it to plant something?  I guess that all depends on how successful and healthy you want it to be.

Take the parable of the sower for example, found in Matthew chapter 13.  In this story, a farmer plants seeds and the ones that fall on the dirt path get eaten by birds.  The ones that fall on rocky ground grow up quickly but dry out because their roots cannot find the soil.  Any seeds that are planted too close to the weeds are eventually choked out.  But thankfully some of the seeds fall on fertile soil and these are the plants that thrive and can be harvested.

In order for our church plant to thrive, we knew that we would have to have good soil.  In the church planting world that means the right people, the right vision, the right drive, and a whole heck of a lot of work!  It takes huge sacrifices, both on your time and resources, and we poured our hearts and souls into seeing this happen.  And then launch day rolled around and we had 280 people show up!  Amazing!  But guess what?  Our work wasn't done!  Our plant was now just a tiny seedling and it still needed lots of love.  It still needs love everyday, and more sacrifice, and more time and effort.  If we are truly the church, then our work is not just limited to Sundays but to everyday!  We can't stop!  There are too many birds out there waiting to eat those seeds, too many weeds waiting to choke out the new life, and too much rocky ground trying to uproot us.  It takes work every. single. day. to keep this plant healthy and thriving, and that work comes in so many forms.  As a church planting family we wear every hat... my husband is the pastor, the CEO, the accountant, the janitor, the maintenance director, the vision caster, and tries to keep this in balance with being a husband and a father first.  He's done everything from install air conditioning to setting up bank accounts, to running payroll, to designing a website, to making multimedia videos, to auditioning a worship team, to paying bills, to leading meetings, and still spends about 30 hours a week working on his message for the next Sunday.  Meanwhile I am mostly at home working a full-time job, taking care of our two little ones, running the kids' ministry, starting a community moms' group, keeping our house clean, trying to put dinner on the table, and still trying to be a loving wife first.  I'm not going to lie... it's exhausting.  Worth it?  Absolutely.  But exhausting nonetheless.

So what's this got to do with humility?  A LOT.  We live in an "I can do it all myself" society.  Asking for help is a sign of weakness in many people's opinions.  But you know what?  That idea is not from God!  Nope!  It's right there in black and white: HUMBLE yourself before the Lord and HE will lift you up.  It doesn't say juggle a million balls in the air and you'll somehow reach superstar status.  Nowhere in the Bible does it say that you have to do it all alone!  Right there in print it blatantly tells us that we cannot do it alone.  Nor should we.  And over these past few months I have tried.  I am juggling more balls than I can handle, and I felt that if I admitted that to myself or to anyone else, that would mean that I was failing.  But the truth is, by asking for help I am being more responsible and taking better care of these balls that I am juggling!  Surrounding myself with people who can help gives me more hands to keep them from falling... what a wonderful concept!  I am thankful that I could read this and be reminded that God created me to be many things and to be capable of doing many things, but that He did not create me to do it all.  As a woman, I am constantly comparing myself to others.  Through Facebook, blogs, Pinterest, and other mediums we are bombarded with examples of other women who "have and do it all."  The sad part is that we forget that it's all a facade and behind every one of them is a woman who feels like she's teetering on the edge of disappointing someone or letting someone down.  If we all just slowed down for a moment and asked for help- from God and from each other- just imagine how much less pressure we would have on ourselves!

So this is me officially saying that enough is enough... I have taken on a little more than I can handle and I am in the process of getting help.  If that makes me a failure in someone's eyes then so be it... because I've already been promised that HE will lift me up.  I am perfect in His eyes and those are the only ones that matter.

I hope that this is a verse that you will commit to memory for those times that you feel like your world is spinning out of control.  As my husband would say, "don't forget the Lord of the work when you're doing the work of the Lord."  In other words, do things for a purpose and drop the things that are just weighing you down.  And ask for help if you're overwhelmed, okay?  I promise it will be okay.

If you shared your view on this topic, please link up with us.  You can also check out the fabulous Brittany's thoughts over on her blog "Daughter... Wife... Mom... Sis" (found here).

To piggy-back on this week's topic for next week, we're going to talk about prayer.  I think humility and prayer go hand-in-hand since it's through prayer that we often ask for help.  I really don't have a specific verse or reading for the topic but instead I want you to spend this week reflecting on your prayer life.  How is it?  Do you even have one?  Do you pray only when you need something or do you rejoice and sing praises to the Lord in the good times, too?  What helps you remember to pray?  Do you do it daily or just when you think about it?  My hope is that through this process we can really evaluate and explore where we are at when it comes to prayer.  And if we find that we need to learn more about it to really get to where we want to be, at least we'll have a starting point.  And if you have any references that you can recommend on the topic, please feel free to share them in your post.  Can't wait to hear how God speaks to you this week!

As always, thanks for sharing and for allowing me to share.  I hope this verse blessed you as much as it has blessed me.

Reflections - Never Once

Last week the challenge was to meditate on the lyrics of the song "Never Once" by Matt Redman and post about how they spoke to you.  I had never actually even heard this song, so I was pretty excited to delve into the unknown a bit.  And although all of the words are beautiful, the title (which is repeated over and over again throughout the entire song) is what continually jumped out at me.

Never Once... think about that phrase.  To me, it's pretty finite, and here it apples to the frequency that God has not been there for you.  Never Once.  When it comes to relationships in our lives, how many times have you let someone down?  How many times have you told someone you'd be there and then something came up and it all fell through?  There is not a single person on the planet who can answer "never once" to those questions.

But God can.

What really moves me is the thought that God has always been there for me, even through the times when I did not deserve His love.  I grew up in a Christian household, but in order to call yourself a follower of anything, you have to actually obey and follow the ways of whomever you're choosing to follow.  Makes sense, right?  Well, let's just say that even though I grew up in a Christian household, at some point I just chose to make my own decisions, carve my own path, and go my own way.  And because we're all born with some sense of right and wrong coupled with the teachings of the Bible from my upbringing, I always  had an inward struggle through these years.  It was as if I was butting heads with God, but didn't want to admit it.  I would try to pray to Him, but actually felt too guilty to do so.  And I would only go to Him when things were at the worst and I would be at my lowest low.  I failed to praise Him for the good, which is something I try to do daily now, and instead only ran to Him in the bad... and felt extremely guilty for treating Him that way.  Any other relationship in the world would not last through that kind of one-sidedness.  But God?  Well, I know now that He just patiently waited on me.  How many times did He leave me?  Never Once.  Sure, sometimes I couldn't feel His presence, and sometimes I felt like He had abandoned me, but looking back, it was probably due to the fact that I did not spend a whole heck of a lot of time seeking Him.  God wants to speak to us, but in order to have a conversation you need to seek His words and His wisdom.  And where do we find this?  In His book of course.  You might not read the right passage or find comfort in the words of your daily reading right away, but if you continue to seek Him through your struggles, you will stumble upon the answer eventually.  That's the beauty of His promise.

I don't know where you are right now in your walk.  Maybe you've been a Christian for as long as you can remember or maybe you are how I was and have a foundation, but no relationship and are living by your own rules.  Maybe you are "all in" or maybe you're just testing the waters and trying to figure out this thing that is so much bigger than ourselves.  But rest in the peace and comfort today that God is there no matter where you're at.  God is with you whether you like it or not in fact!  Seek Him and you will always find Him... and eventually you will see that God will never once let you down and that life is truly easier and more abundantly blessed when we do it His way.  Now that's a relationship that's worth having!

⁷ “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

(Matthew 7:7-8)

As always, you can check out what Brittany wrote over on her blog (found here).  We also have a friend who has chosen to join us weekly and she's posting over at her blog "Welcome To Deckerville" (found here).  She has a huge heart for God and is going through some pretty tough stuff in regards to their new baby, which she has chosen to share in order to better help and minister to others.  And if you posted on this topic, please link up below or leave a comment.

It was Brittany's turn to pick so here is what we'll be reflecting on this week:

As for next week, I would like to pick a scripture in James 4 and it is just one verse - verse 10

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up" 

This is a "life verse" for me and I feel like re-visiting and meditating on it this week!  Sorry for being selfish, but I believe there is POWER and FREEDOM in this verse!  Join us in memorizing this scripture and responding to how it spoke to you this week!  

Reflections - Rahab

Did you get a chance to read Rahab's story last week?  Pretty incredible, huh?  If you didn't, then in a nutshell it's the story of a prostitute who helps two spies hide out in her city.  They are there to scope out the city for an attack and in exchange she asks them for protection for herself and her family.  That's the very condensed version, but can you imagine?  Would you put your trust in two total strangers (spies no less) and be able to convince your family to hide out in a room that's built into the temple wall and then wait out an attack, fully trusting that God will come to your rescue through these men?  Most of us would probably either flee or tell some sort of government official and have these two men captured!  And did you catch that first part, about her being a prostitute?  Yeah, if you think the Bible is boring then you're apparently missing a lot of these stories.  I'm not sure why Hollywood writers don't just look here for ideas... it is just full of interesting characters and amazing tales of adventure and suspense.  What a rich history!

But I digress...

Like I said, she was a prostitute, and through her faith she helped Joshua lead a very successful attack into the promised land.  And because of her faith, the temple walls fell and her little room was spared.  She tied a red cord that hung out her window and that part of the wall was unharmed.  Her family was rescued, as promised, and she went on to live amongst the conquerers.  So what's the point?  Well, I don't know about you, but if I had to guess who God would use to help carry out a dangerous mission, I'm not sure I'd guess that He'd choose a prostitute.  Now I am not one to judge and I know a lot of these women don't actually choose this profession and are trapped in an awful situation (more on that another day), but most of us think that God would use, well, some sort of reverent, perfect person to carry out His will, right?  Surely He'd use someone who had hardly ever sinned, lived a close-to-perfect life, to do great things.  But God is smarter than we are.

I'm not sure if you realize this, but none of us are perfect (gasp!).  I think part of the reason I love this story so much is because even though Rahab knew her current situation, she did not doubt for a minute that God would be willing to use her to do great things.   I think a lot of us sometimes doubt our own usefulness.  We think, "God, I've screwed up too much, why would you want me?" or "I don't know enough about the Bible and Your word, so I couldn't possibly help... let me learn some more and then I'll be ready."  But the truth is, no matter how much knowledge you have or what kind of Christian you think You are, God can move through you in mighty ways.  Rahab lived in a culture that did not even worship the same God, but rather multiple idols, and yet she still knew deep down that He was powerful enough to use her to accomplish His mission.  God is just waiting on you to be open to it, to trust in Him fully, to admit that although you might not feel "perfect" or "ready," that you're still willing to be used as a vessel for Him.  Many of the greatest stories in our history were carried out by people who were far less than perfect- Moses was a murderer, did you know that?  Paul, who wrote most of the New Testament (yes, all of that good stuff!) was once the cruelest persecutor of Christians, killing and torturing many.  Noah... well, he got off the boat when it was all said and done, got drunk and passed out naked in his tent.  We don't always read to the end and focus on the full story, and even though God always knows the full story, He does not pass over anybody.  He knows our potential, He knows His plans, and He wants to use us... what an honor, right?

I was originally going to use this opportunity to update you all on our church plant (since this topic is so fitting for that), but this is already getting a bit long so I'll do a separate post on that very soon.  My challenge to you this week, however, is to open yourself up to the idea that YOU can be used in mighty ways for God, if you just allow Him to use you.  Josh often says, "Find the thing that ticks you off and you'll probably find the thing that makes you tick" meaning, if there is something that breaks your heart in this world, that might be the cause that is worth looking into being a part of.   You don't have to start your own ministry or charity, as there are so many great ones already out there.  Maybe it's just serving at your church and making others feel welcome (because you once felt like an outsider at church) or working in the kids' ministry to ensure that the next generation is learning about God (because you have kids that you care about or did not grow up with God).  Or maybe it's going on a mission trip, considering adoption, or even just donating money each month to an organization that is working to cure a problem that rips your heart out.  Take the first step, and when you open the door, I think you'll find that God has even bigger plans for you than you ever thought possible... that you are just taking the first step and opening a door to even greater things. Whether you believe it or not, YOU ARE A WORLD CHANGER... never forget that.

As always, you can read Brittany's post here, or link up below if you wrote one.  I know that we rarely get a link-up, but I will always continue to leave it open in the chance that God moves you to post on one of these topics.  And for those of you who have participated without leaving your link below (you know who you are), that's okay, too, and I have really loved reading your thoughts... thank you for sharing your hearts.

Brittany is in the middle of a move to Colorado right now (and really stepping out to trust God on this one... how appropriate!), so I am picking the topic again this week.  And because I know that Brittany loves her some Priscilla Shirer, I am taking a post from Priscilla's blog (titled "Need") for this week's topic:

http://www.goingbeyond.com/blog/need

The best way to honor God is to celebrate and share those times that He came through for you.  My challenge is for you to read through this beautiful post and then reflect on a dark time when you thought God wasn't hearing your prayers.  Then share how He ultimately did come through, in true God fashion, even though it wasn't what or how- or even when!- you expected.  His plans are always the best ones and there are no such things as coincidences... only His plans, which are always good.  I love a good God story... I hope you'll share one with us next week.

As always, thanks for reading.  Have a great rest of the week!

Reflections - We are the church!!!

Did you get a chance to watch the message I blogged about last week?  You know, the one where Stovall Weems jumps up and down like a maniac shouting "We are the church!  We are the church!"  Well if you didn't, don't walk... RUN over to this website and check it out.  It's that good!

Once a year the organization that planted our church has an annual conference that attracts thousands of pastors from all over the world.  It is the organization's opportunity to speak into their lives, since these pastors are the ones speaking into ours on a weekly basis.  Because Lil was only five-months-old, I decided to stay at home with the kids this year and Josh went without me, which was the best decision for our family.  But at night I would put the kids to bed and turn on the online streaming of the sessions, so that I could "be there" with him.  For this particular message, I put the laptop on the kitchen counter and listened while I cleaned up before bed.  But within about ten minutes, I couldn't help but to just stop what I was doing, sit on the couch, and listen.

For those of you who did not listen to this message (again, you're missing out!) the message stems from a time when Mr. Weems was listening to a political speaker address a large crowd.  Do this for me for a moment: think about the atmosphere at a political rally.  Okay, you can feel the excitement, right?  Let's say it's a candidate you're excited about (wouldn't that be a nice change?) and you're there.  Now imagine how the crowd erupts into crazy cheers and applause at just about everything this political figure says.  He is firing up the crowd, making promises, and with each statement the excitement builds and builds.  By the end people can't help but to be jumping out of their seats, yelling and screaming for this person.

Or... when's the last time you went to a rock concert?  Did you leave the arena completely hoarse from singing at the top of your lungs and screaming your head off all night?  For a band?  Which, when you think about it, is just a group of people?

Ok, now this one should ring true with most of you... when's the last time you donned your alma mater's (or favorite NFL / NBA / etc.) colors and rooted on your favorite team?  And most of the time, you're not even at the game!  You're jumping up and down in your living room yelling at a group of people moving a ball down a field.

Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with the kinds of enthusiasm listed above.  I think it's great to be passionate about things and I think it's fun to get excited about the things you're passionate about.  I, for one, will proudly sport the most obnoxious color of orange and cheer on my beloved Tennessee Vols any day... whether they are good or bad (which is unfortunately the case lately).  But this message did so much to me because it was the first time I was challenged to think about who and what I openly and publicly worship.  Ouch.  Conviction can punch you in the gut sometimes, can't it?

I grew up in a traditional church environment where we sang hymns and solemnly recited prayers, quietly worshiping God.  Now again, don't get me wrong... there is NOTHING wrong with that.  It's worship, it's meditation, and it allows us to have some quiet moments to clear away distractions and really focus on the Lord.  But on the flip side, why is it that we scream wildly for a political figure, a rock band, a sports team... all PEOPLE of human flesh... and yet we rarely (if ever) display this behavior toward our God?  C'mon y'all... we would not even BE here if it weren't for Him.  He created you!  He gave you life!  The Bible teaches us that every blessing comes from above... and isn't your life full of blessings?  In fact, those things we love to cheer for are blessings, and those abilities we're cheering for... well, HE gave them to those athletes, musicians, and politicians!  So at what point do we jump out of our seats and give our mighty God and savior the credit and praise He deserves?  And why is it that when we do so outside of a contemporary church setting or a conference, retreat, etc., that we're looked upon as crazy zealots?  Nobody thinks that about you when your chest is painted bright blue and you're outside shirtless in the freezing cold!  Why is it okay to cheer like that for a sports team... or for a PERSON... but not for our God?

By the end of this message, Stovall is jumping up and down shouting "WE ARE THE CHURCH!  WE ARE THE CHURCH!"  He is so very unashamed, alive, and... well... FREE!  He's the perfect demonstration of the freedom that we're given by being followers of Christ!  It's not about rules and regulations to live by (although the Bible offers clear guidelines on how to live a better life) but about being FREE from our sinful pasts, guilt, fear, and shame.  A politician will make promises that he can't keep, but God has never broken a promise.  A band may fall victim to the temptations around them (drugs, alcohol, sex, etc.) and let us down, but God saves us from those pitfalls.  All sports teams (yes, ALL) have losing seasons, but God wins in the end!  The Bible tells us how it's all going to shake down and guess what?  He prevails!  Isn't that something worth celebrating?  I think so!  This country is going downhill fast because of what we choose to worship, but if could all get out of our comfort zones a little bit and truly cheer for the One who gave us life, created our world, makes the wrong things right, convicts us when we're going astray, gives us hope, life, and a future... well... maybe WE could turn it around.

So get out of your chair, jump up and down, and yell it with me... "WE ARE THE CHURCH!"  Let's celebrate God's glory loudly and proudly together this week, this month, this year.  Let's be His biggest fans.

As always, if you've written reflections about our weekly topic on your blog please link up below or leave  comment.  You can find Brittany's reflections over at her blog (found here) and next week's topic below.

It's Brittany's turn to choose the next topic and I have to say that I'm quite excited about it!  She writes...

"As for next week, I came across this blog by Lysa Terkeurst, and it really struck a chord with me.  I think so often in ministry and even in life as women, the word "friendship" becomes very hard to understand and hard to navigate.  This was a fresh reminder that we are all a "package deal."  I think it would be a great idea to share what we gathered from her blog post and if you are feeling extra transparent maybe a story about a time when you had a "friend situation" and how God used that to grow and challenge you!

(PLEASE OMIT ALL NAMES)"

Have a fantastic remainder of your week, friends.  And thanks for sharing and letting me share with you.