Reflections - Change the World!

Wow, is it Thursday again already?  This week has just flown by!

Last week I set out a topic that was not all that deep, but hopefully stirred up something within you.  As my husband often teaches, find the thing that ticks you off and that's probably what makes you tick.  Translation: if there is an issue in this world that breaks your heart, chances are that you'd serve very passionately to work toward that cause and it would fulfill you deeply.  For my husband, TurningPoint Church is the fruit of that... his heart aches constantly for those who do not know the love of Christ and he worked diligently to do something about it.  And for me, helping my husband fulfill his dream was what made my cup run over as well.  Granted, over time and through hearing story after story of what God's love has meant to someone who previously had not known it, my heart breaks for those who are without God as well, and without that, we could've never survived church planting together.  It baffles him that we don't automatically have that big hurt and we don't feel that urge to get everyone into a relationship with Christ, because he had that from day one.  And I know others like that, too.  But for most people, we go through a selfish period first (what can He do for me?), finally realize at some point the impact that having a relationship with Christ has made on our life, and then we start to want that for other people.  I really wish it was the other way around.  But I digress... where was I going with this?

Oh yes, how do I want to change the world?  That was what I put out there last week to reflect on, and for me, it really boiled down to how do I want to change my world (AKA current situation) right now.  You see, over the past year things in my life have been turned upside down in a very good way, but now that the dust is settling, I realize that I have put everyone else ahead of me and am not sure if I'm exactly where I want to be.  Does that make sense?  And hear me out... I think this was (A) completely necessary for this time in our life, (B) a conscious decision that I happily made and have loved, and (C) something that had to transpire in my own life.  Why?  Because, well, I spent the first 29 years of my life living very selfishly, and these past few have taught me the importance of putting others first.  My problems are not that big, my life is not that bad, and even on my worst day, I am more blessed than a large majority of the world.  Yet, I find myself complaining from time to time and a sense of dissatisfaction sets in.  Because like all selfish people (meaning... ALL of us), I want MORE for myself.  Now that the church is in a healthy state and our life is a little more routine (although we really don't know the meaning of that word!) I think it's time to self-assess and evaluate and find out exactly what that MORE that I want actually is.  Do any of us know?

There is a magnet on our refrigerator that says "If you could do anything and know that you could not fail, what would you do?"  A couple of weeks ago, Josh asked me if I had an answer to that question, and it was odd that I read it just about everyday.  So... I thought about it.  And you know what?  It turns out that as we stormed through life like a Tazmanian devil for the past three years, my dreams are still there.  They're still strong.  And the some have even come true!  I am married to a man that I adore, who inspires me to be better and do great things, and does many himself on a daily basis.  I have two incredible children, who I love more than this life.  We have a home, tons of friends, and more love than I could ever ask for.  Those dreams have come true.  And what's left are those "bucket list" types of accomplishments that are so personal they scare the crap out of me.  Some are small... get better at photography, learn to use Photoshop, learn new techniques to decorate cakes.  But then (gulp) there are those big ones that you don't even want to tell anyone for fear that you'll fail.  And then I think of that magnet, and well, at some point you just have to go for it, right?  Because I think the only answer to this dissatisfaction is tackling those things that leave you shaking in your boots.  Things like... (deep breath)... write a book, run a sub-four hour marathon, have a successful ministry (although I'm not sure for whom or on what), wear a post-baby bikini... okay, I just made that last one up, but seriously, how scary is that?  Like I said... BIG stuff.  SCARY stuff.  Stuff that could take YEARS to accomplish.  Stuff that require tons of work, commitment, time, and dedication.  Stuff that leaves me shaking in my boots.

But then I look at my husband and see the satisfaction painted on his face.  Since this dream welled up inside of him, there have been days that he thought he would fail, days that were tough, days when there was not enough time or money, and days that we thought we'd kill each other.  His dream is BIG.  His dream is SCARY.  But he went for it!

So... I think the way to fight dissatisfaction is always to be going after these big, scary things that we're afraid to say out loud.  If your 9-5 is just what gets you a paycheck right now or if you feel stuck in a rut being a stay-at-home parent, keep in mind that the dreams you had before life got crazy are still there- they might just be hiding underneath loads of laundry, piles of bills, or dirty diapers.  But I think they still want to be chased and it's in the chasing that we find contentment.  What are some of yours?

Okay, so that was so not where I had originally planned to go with this post, but sometimes you just have to go with it.  Now that I've put all of that out there, I guess it's time to get started, right?

Please check out Brittany's thoughts on the topic over at Daughter... Wife... Mom... Sis on this.  I think she basically said what I was trying to say before I got off topic and it completely rocked my socks off.  She and I are great friends and pastors wives who live WAY too far apart, but I love coming together like this each week.  We also hope that you shared this week and will link up below!

As for next week, here is what Brittany has challenged us to reflect on this week: 

I'd like for us to meditate on the new Hillsong song...."Cornerstone".....it is just absolutely UH...MAZE.....ING!!!!!!!!  You will not be disappointed.  It talks about God being our anchor and cornerstone in life!  Let's focus on the words of the song and share on what spoke to you most!  

Here is the link and the lyrics: 

CORNERSTONE

My hope is built on nothing less

than Jesus' blood and righteousnessI 

dare not trust the sweetest frame

but wholly trust in Jesus' name

-Chorus-

Christ alone, Cornerstone

Weak made strong, in the Savior's love

Through the storm

He is Lord, Lord of All

When darkness seems to hide His faceI 

rest on His unchanging grace

In every high and stormy gale

My anchor holds within the veil

[Chorus]

He is Lord, Lord of all

[Chorus 2x]

Then He shall come with trumpets sound

Oh, may I then in Him be found

Dressed in His righteousness alone

faultless, stand before the throne 

Reflections - Leadership

Good morning, y'all (that's right... I said it.  I have officially lived in Kentucky for a year so it's time I start using the lingo!).  Did you have a chance to listen to the podcast posted by Brittany last week?  If not, you can find it here.  And if not, I encourage you to jump over there and listen because Christine Caine (the speaker) really knows her stuff and is such an inspiration to men and women all over the world.  For those of you who have never heard of her, she and her family have been in ministry for a long time, but their main focus now is their A21 Campaign, which works to abolish sex trafficking all over the world.  Talk about taking on a really big, ugly problem, right?  And I am embarrassed to admit that until I heard her speak at a conference, I really had no idea how horrific and HUGE this issue is.  Did you know that there are an estimated 20 million people (mostly women and children) imprisoned by slavery today?  Against their will?  From child labor to prostitution, people are still being sold and shipped like cargo to live in bondage and I sit here in the comfort of my cozy living room and complain when my husband has to work late or my children won't nap!  It really puts things into perspective, doesn't it?  Okay, so I did not mean to go into that too much today, but if you did not know about this atrocity that is still occurring worldwide, I encourage you to look into it.  Knowledge is power and bringing awareness to any problem only works toward finding a solution.  And that's what I love about Christine Cain... she refuses to just sit back and let this happen... which brings me to my point today.

You only have to listen to her speak for about two minutes before you hear the point that I'm going to post on today.  She begins to talk about her 5 top qualities for leadership and although all five are great (conviction, confidence, commitment, consistency, and courage), one jumped out at me.  When she talks about confidence, I love that she specifically defined it as "confidence in Christ."  We've probably all been to leadership seminars in our lives, and even though confidence is probably touched upon, have you ever heard it expanded not just to confidence in ourselves and our own abilities, but confidence in Christ.  In God... who created the heavens and the earth and breathed life into you and me.  And ultimately, we can only have confidence in ourselves because all of our gifts and abilities come from Him.  But how many times do we shy away from something because we don't think we're good enough?  Maybe we don't apply for a job because we don't feel qualified or don't join in a discussion because we don't feel smart enough?  It's in these times that we need to take a step back and realize that we can only have confidence in ourselves if we first have confidence in Christ.

A good friend of mine has been going through a lot lately and it has been taking a toll on her emotionally.  Anytime we don't know the outcome of something, it opens the door to the what-if's and she found herself there, which is not a fun place to be.  I listened to her without much advice to give other than just to wait and see, but wish I had more.  Later that day I went home and opened up a new book we just bought for Jake called "Jesus Calling: 365 Devotions for Kids" just to skim some of the content.  First off, let me just say that I love this book.  He's still a little young for it, but even though it's geared toward children, I am getting so much out of it!  I think we complicate things as adults, so getting back to the basics is kind of nice sometimes.  But anyway, I "coincidentally" opened it up to the page that had these words:

"I am all around you.  Even when you don't notice Me, I am here.  you may not notice Me because your mind is tied up with other things.  Like worry.  A lot of people believe that worry is just a part of life.  But they are wrong.  Worry is actually a kind of unbelief.  Worrying says you don't believe I am big enough to take care of whatever it is that upsets you so much.  Worrying says you think I need your help.

Wrong!  I am big enough.  I am strong enough.  I love you enough.  Bring your problems to Me.  You can trust Me to take care of you- and whatever you are worrying about!"

I immediately called her back and read that to her... and then later emailed it.  The words that struck me here are "You don't believe I am big enough to take care of whatever it is that upsets you so much."  Ouch.  Do you ever find yourself there?  Without... wait for it... CONFIDENCE in Christ?  How can we believe that we can accomplish anything if we don't always believe (and know!) that God can do anything.  And not only that, but He can do anything THROUGH us.  We are his hands and feet and the only way He can do good in this world is to use us to do His work.  Which ultimately means that we are far more equipped than we even think, so sometimes we just have to step out of our comfort zone and just go for it!  If we just believed with all our might that we can be used in big ways, we really can be a light into the world and change it for the better.  One of my husband's favorite sayings is, "God does't call the equipped... He equips the called."

Is there something in your life that absolutely bugs you?  Something that breaks your heart that you wish could change?  It could be big or small... not all of us have to be as brave as Christine Cain to tackle a global issue (yet anyway... hee hee) yet there has to be something in your world that could be better.  Taking what we learned last week in this podcast, along with the words found in John 16:33, how can YOU use these things to make a difference?  How can YOU begin to change the world, or even just your current situation if you're unhappy with it?  Draw confidence in CHRIST this week and join us again here next week to share.

Please make sure to visit Brittany over at Daughter...Wife...Mom...Sis to read her take on this week's topic and then link up below or leave a comment to share your own thoughts!

Reflections - Humility

"Humble yourself before the Lord and He will lift you up." (James 4:10)

There could not have been a more perfect verse for me this week.  Or this past month really.  When I saw that this was the chosen topic for this week's Reflections post, I knew that I needed this verse this week.  James is probably my favorite book of the Bible and I've read it several times, but I think I've just skimmed over these particular words in the past.  Thankfully because of this post, I had to sit and chew on it for awhile this week.

This verse comes at an appropriate time because we are approaching the one year anniversary of our move here.  We did not have a Lexington address until August, but in June of 2011 we packed our car with suitcases and moved in with my sister and her family for awhile.  It was official- we were embarking on our church planting adventure.  And over the course of this past year we have done just that... planted. The phrase "church planting" makes it sound so simple.  I mean, how hard is it to plant something?  I guess that all depends on how successful and healthy you want it to be.

Take the parable of the sower for example, found in Matthew chapter 13.  In this story, a farmer plants seeds and the ones that fall on the dirt path get eaten by birds.  The ones that fall on rocky ground grow up quickly but dry out because their roots cannot find the soil.  Any seeds that are planted too close to the weeds are eventually choked out.  But thankfully some of the seeds fall on fertile soil and these are the plants that thrive and can be harvested.

In order for our church plant to thrive, we knew that we would have to have good soil.  In the church planting world that means the right people, the right vision, the right drive, and a whole heck of a lot of work!  It takes huge sacrifices, both on your time and resources, and we poured our hearts and souls into seeing this happen.  And then launch day rolled around and we had 280 people show up!  Amazing!  But guess what?  Our work wasn't done!  Our plant was now just a tiny seedling and it still needed lots of love.  It still needs love everyday, and more sacrifice, and more time and effort.  If we are truly the church, then our work is not just limited to Sundays but to everyday!  We can't stop!  There are too many birds out there waiting to eat those seeds, too many weeds waiting to choke out the new life, and too much rocky ground trying to uproot us.  It takes work every. single. day. to keep this plant healthy and thriving, and that work comes in so many forms.  As a church planting family we wear every hat... my husband is the pastor, the CEO, the accountant, the janitor, the maintenance director, the vision caster, and tries to keep this in balance with being a husband and a father first.  He's done everything from install air conditioning to setting up bank accounts, to running payroll, to designing a website, to making multimedia videos, to auditioning a worship team, to paying bills, to leading meetings, and still spends about 30 hours a week working on his message for the next Sunday.  Meanwhile I am mostly at home working a full-time job, taking care of our two little ones, running the kids' ministry, starting a community moms' group, keeping our house clean, trying to put dinner on the table, and still trying to be a loving wife first.  I'm not going to lie... it's exhausting.  Worth it?  Absolutely.  But exhausting nonetheless.

So what's this got to do with humility?  A LOT.  We live in an "I can do it all myself" society.  Asking for help is a sign of weakness in many people's opinions.  But you know what?  That idea is not from God!  Nope!  It's right there in black and white: HUMBLE yourself before the Lord and HE will lift you up.  It doesn't say juggle a million balls in the air and you'll somehow reach superstar status.  Nowhere in the Bible does it say that you have to do it all alone!  Right there in print it blatantly tells us that we cannot do it alone.  Nor should we.  And over these past few months I have tried.  I am juggling more balls than I can handle, and I felt that if I admitted that to myself or to anyone else, that would mean that I was failing.  But the truth is, by asking for help I am being more responsible and taking better care of these balls that I am juggling!  Surrounding myself with people who can help gives me more hands to keep them from falling... what a wonderful concept!  I am thankful that I could read this and be reminded that God created me to be many things and to be capable of doing many things, but that He did not create me to do it all.  As a woman, I am constantly comparing myself to others.  Through Facebook, blogs, Pinterest, and other mediums we are bombarded with examples of other women who "have and do it all."  The sad part is that we forget that it's all a facade and behind every one of them is a woman who feels like she's teetering on the edge of disappointing someone or letting someone down.  If we all just slowed down for a moment and asked for help- from God and from each other- just imagine how much less pressure we would have on ourselves!

So this is me officially saying that enough is enough... I have taken on a little more than I can handle and I am in the process of getting help.  If that makes me a failure in someone's eyes then so be it... because I've already been promised that HE will lift me up.  I am perfect in His eyes and those are the only ones that matter.

I hope that this is a verse that you will commit to memory for those times that you feel like your world is spinning out of control.  As my husband would say, "don't forget the Lord of the work when you're doing the work of the Lord."  In other words, do things for a purpose and drop the things that are just weighing you down.  And ask for help if you're overwhelmed, okay?  I promise it will be okay.

If you shared your view on this topic, please link up with us.  You can also check out the fabulous Brittany's thoughts over on her blog "Daughter... Wife... Mom... Sis" (found here).

To piggy-back on this week's topic for next week, we're going to talk about prayer.  I think humility and prayer go hand-in-hand since it's through prayer that we often ask for help.  I really don't have a specific verse or reading for the topic but instead I want you to spend this week reflecting on your prayer life.  How is it?  Do you even have one?  Do you pray only when you need something or do you rejoice and sing praises to the Lord in the good times, too?  What helps you remember to pray?  Do you do it daily or just when you think about it?  My hope is that through this process we can really evaluate and explore where we are at when it comes to prayer.  And if we find that we need to learn more about it to really get to where we want to be, at least we'll have a starting point.  And if you have any references that you can recommend on the topic, please feel free to share them in your post.  Can't wait to hear how God speaks to you this week!

As always, thanks for sharing and for allowing me to share.  I hope this verse blessed you as much as it has blessed me.

Mama's Month - Why I Love Being a Mom

Sorry for disappearing for a few days.  I wanted to do a few posts, I really did, but I was a wee bit busy spending tons of time outside... taking walks:

And lounging at the pool...

And hanging out with family at Grampa and Gramma's new house:

And even enjoying a much-needed girls' night out at a local winery...

See?  Busy... in the best kind of way!  My Memorial Day weekend this year was one of the best ever and really was like a stay-cation.  I've always loved every season, but especially now that I have kids, I think I am becoming a summer person.  Helllllooooo, summer... I'm so glad you're here!

Over these past few days, I've done a lot of thinking about what part of motherhood I would want to do this last Mama's Month post on.  If you're a mom yourself, you know that it's impossible to narrow down what you like best about motherhood!  It's the hardest, best, most rewarding, most frustrating, most amazing thing I have ever experienced in my life, so where to start?  So while today won't be the only favorite thing I have to share about being a mom, it's one tiny part of it.

So far, at every single age, I have said that I would freeze time if I could.  I cannot tell you how many times I have said, "This is my favorite age."  Yes, it's true... every single phase has it's challenges, but seeing my son or daughter figure something out or learn something new just blows my mind.  Jake is just a chatterbox these days, stringing together sentences and saying words that I didn't know he knew every single day.  And Lil, still as sweet as can be, is imitating sounds we make, army-crawling at lightning speed, and pulling herself up into a standing position (make it stop!!!).  I am constantly wowed by their little accomplishments... so I can only imagine how much pride I will feel as they get older and accomplish bigger things (by most people's standards anyway).  It's this constant amazement that I love most about motherhood... the daily surprises, and continuous awe, and inexplicable amount of pride, joy, and love that overflows because of this gift.  The Bible promises us that God can do anything and that He is amazing, but motherhood to me is the tangible proof of this promise:

20 Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope.  (Ephesians 3:20)

Because I'm a mom, not only do I know that I can love more than I ever thought possible, I also know that I can do anything and that no challenge is too big or too small.  My oldest child is only a little over two, but already I know that I can change a diaper and field a sales call at the same time.  I can switch from tending to Lilly in a gentle, caring way, to sternly disciplining Jake for climbing on the countertop.  I can build a train track village like a champ, throw a ball better than I ever could (which isn't saying much), and suddenly have cat-like reflexes when one of them trips on something.  I can carry a load of laundry, a child, a laptop, and a coffee cup up and down the stairs... all at the same time.  I can sing nursery rhymes I thought had been long forgotten, use voices when reading stories that I never knew I had, and go from a deep sleep to amazing alertness if one of them needs me in the middle of the night.  I have superhero hearing now and intuition that astounds me.  Yes, my kiddos amaze me daily, but now that I'm a mom, I am in awe about what God can do through me.  Parenthood takes a lot of prayer, but when I pray for strength, He gives it to me.  When I pray for patience, He usually gives Jake a double dose of temper tantrums that week or Lil a rough week of sleep so that I have no choice but to find extra patience. When I pray for peace, I have more moments cuddling sweet Lil as she falls asleep that week.  Through the gift of motherhood, I know more than I ever have, that He delivers.  These feats may be small in some people's eyes, but in mine, they are bigger than I could ever imagine.  And if becoming a mom makes me capable of doing all of this, there is no end to what I might be able to do.

13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength. (Philipians 4:13)


There has never been a truer statement, but I didn't know it until I was a mom.  

Reflections - Never Once

Last week the challenge was to meditate on the lyrics of the song "Never Once" by Matt Redman and post about how they spoke to you.  I had never actually even heard this song, so I was pretty excited to delve into the unknown a bit.  And although all of the words are beautiful, the title (which is repeated over and over again throughout the entire song) is what continually jumped out at me.

Never Once... think about that phrase.  To me, it's pretty finite, and here it apples to the frequency that God has not been there for you.  Never Once.  When it comes to relationships in our lives, how many times have you let someone down?  How many times have you told someone you'd be there and then something came up and it all fell through?  There is not a single person on the planet who can answer "never once" to those questions.

But God can.

What really moves me is the thought that God has always been there for me, even through the times when I did not deserve His love.  I grew up in a Christian household, but in order to call yourself a follower of anything, you have to actually obey and follow the ways of whomever you're choosing to follow.  Makes sense, right?  Well, let's just say that even though I grew up in a Christian household, at some point I just chose to make my own decisions, carve my own path, and go my own way.  And because we're all born with some sense of right and wrong coupled with the teachings of the Bible from my upbringing, I always  had an inward struggle through these years.  It was as if I was butting heads with God, but didn't want to admit it.  I would try to pray to Him, but actually felt too guilty to do so.  And I would only go to Him when things were at the worst and I would be at my lowest low.  I failed to praise Him for the good, which is something I try to do daily now, and instead only ran to Him in the bad... and felt extremely guilty for treating Him that way.  Any other relationship in the world would not last through that kind of one-sidedness.  But God?  Well, I know now that He just patiently waited on me.  How many times did He leave me?  Never Once.  Sure, sometimes I couldn't feel His presence, and sometimes I felt like He had abandoned me, but looking back, it was probably due to the fact that I did not spend a whole heck of a lot of time seeking Him.  God wants to speak to us, but in order to have a conversation you need to seek His words and His wisdom.  And where do we find this?  In His book of course.  You might not read the right passage or find comfort in the words of your daily reading right away, but if you continue to seek Him through your struggles, you will stumble upon the answer eventually.  That's the beauty of His promise.

I don't know where you are right now in your walk.  Maybe you've been a Christian for as long as you can remember or maybe you are how I was and have a foundation, but no relationship and are living by your own rules.  Maybe you are "all in" or maybe you're just testing the waters and trying to figure out this thing that is so much bigger than ourselves.  But rest in the peace and comfort today that God is there no matter where you're at.  God is with you whether you like it or not in fact!  Seek Him and you will always find Him... and eventually you will see that God will never once let you down and that life is truly easier and more abundantly blessed when we do it His way.  Now that's a relationship that's worth having!

⁷ “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

(Matthew 7:7-8)

As always, you can check out what Brittany wrote over on her blog (found here).  We also have a friend who has chosen to join us weekly and she's posting over at her blog "Welcome To Deckerville" (found here).  She has a huge heart for God and is going through some pretty tough stuff in regards to their new baby, which she has chosen to share in order to better help and minister to others.  And if you posted on this topic, please link up below or leave a comment.

It was Brittany's turn to pick so here is what we'll be reflecting on this week:

As for next week, I would like to pick a scripture in James 4 and it is just one verse - verse 10

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up" 

This is a "life verse" for me and I feel like re-visiting and meditating on it this week!  Sorry for being selfish, but I believe there is POWER and FREEDOM in this verse!  Join us in memorizing this scripture and responding to how it spoke to you this week!  

Mama's Month - Maternity Leave Survival

One of the perks of having a baby is the glorious three months of time off.  Oh yes, time to spend relaxing with your new little one, catching up on reading, tackling projects around the house, and becoming supermom to your new tenant.  

Riiiiiggggggghhhhhhht. 

If you've been there before, then you know as well as I do that it can quickly turn into endless days in your sweats, sleep deprivation, and cabin fever.  You can't remember the last time you brushed your hair or teeth (much less took a shower... what's that?) and there doesn't seem to be an end to the emotional roller coaster ride you're on.  Family and friends are dropping by (or staying with you) and even though you love the company, you're hoping they don't notice the messy house or the fact that you may or may not have poop on your shirt.  Plus, you kind of wish they'd just leave so you can attempt to take a nap.

Well guess what, friends?  You're not alone!  While I don't have a perfect plan that works for everyone, here is the advice that I wish I would have received before the little bambino arrived:

#1 - Throw the rule book out the window

Demand feeding vs. scheduled feeding.  Am I holding my baby too much?  Swaddling vs. not swaddling.  Breastfeeding vs. Bottle feeding.  Is it okay that my baby sleeps better on his belly?  

EVERY baby is different.  If you spend all of your time frantically worrying about whether or not you're doing it "right," you're going to be one stressed out mess!  While it's great to talk to other mommy friends, keep in mind that there is no perfect formula.  If breastfeeding is making you miserable, try a bottle and see if that helps!  Sure there are great nutrients in breast milk, but formula is rich with vitamins and nutrients, too!  If you make your decisions based on YOUR instincts and YOUR baby's preferences (which you will figure out before anyone else) then you're going to enjoy those first few months a lot more.

#2 - Accept Help

I was terrible at this!  I had family staying with us to help take care of Jake, the house, etc., but I insisted on doing everything myself.  My theory was that I would have to do it all eventually, so I might as well get used to it.  Yes, you are going to have to do it all eventually, so give yourself a break while you can! If you have family staying with you, don't be afraid to delegate a little either.  Your mother-in-law probably won't mind throwing in a load of laundry if you need her to.  And trust me, the baby will be in great hands while you take yourself a little nap.

#3 - If you're about to snap, you need a nap!

Okay, I didn't even mean to rhyme!  Sleep deprivation is a horrible thing... that's why it's used as a war tactic to torture prisoners.  If you start noticing that you're getting snippy or even angry at those around you (and your child in particular for not giving you any "me-time"), a little snooze will probably do you some good.  If I ended up in tears, it was usually a red flag that I needed an hour or two away from my bundle of joy... and that's perfectly okay and you're a better mom for it!

#4 - Accept the emotional roller coaster 

 There is nothing that will prepare you for the waves of emotion that will sweep over you after childbirth. and the weeks that follow.  In fact, as soon as I stepped foot into our house with Jake and he was handed off to one of the waiting grandparents I went up to my room and sobbed.  Like ugly-crying sobbed.  It was awful.  And my reason?  I didn't want to "share" him with anyone, which is silly I know.  I also had this crazy resentment toward Josh's dad for those first few weeks because I felt like he was "hogging the baby" which he was by no means doing!  I've actually apologized to him for my crazy behavior and now I could not imagine my life without him being nearby!  Everyday I would literally cry tears of joy as I would rock and sing Jake to sleep and then I'd be crying tears of frustration five minutes later.  It's normal... and it's okay.  I do think it's important though to talk to someone about what you're going through.  I know of two good friends now that went through postpartum depression, but never knew it until much later.  If you're angry at your child for being born, or if you feel like you don't like him or her at all, these are signs and there are probably people right under your nose who can help you through it.  Don't bottle it in for the fear that someone might think you're crazy.

#5 - Take a break before finding "normal"

I think the first couple of weeks are the most special weeks of a new parent's life.  Even though you're never dressed or don't have any make-up on, you just get to cuddle and love on your newborn.  You will never get that time back, so allow yourself to have it.  After a week or two, however, face the real world again.  Getting "out there" with or without your child is so important and will do wonders for your sanity. And if you need gas or a gallon of milk, volunteer to go without your child just to get out of the house by yourself for a few.  It will clear your head and make you realize how much you love your child based on how much you miss your child!

#6 - Make "To-Do" lists

Once you're past the two week mark, make short-term and long-term "To-Do" lists.  Not having any sort of schedule at all will result in lots of time watching HGTV (trust me, I know!).  I would record TV shows and allow myself only to watch them while nursing, even if it meant that I could not get through a full program before I was finished... that was just my rule to avoid becoming a couch potato.  Sometimes my daily to-do list would only have one or two things on it, like "go for a walk" or "visit Josh at work" but it made me become intentional about getting up, getting dressed, and getting out of the house.  It also made sure that my house did not turn into a pig-stye!  As for long-term projects, pick one or two things that you've been putting off and take baby steps toward accomplishing the task.  You'll find that projects will progress much more slowly now, so you might as well get used to it!

#7 - Give your body a break

Do you realize that you just had a baby?  Do you understand how amazing your body is???  One of the best things that ever happened to my confidence was childbirth.  I realize that I may never look like I did at 20, but I love the way I look now more than I ever did.  And I care about what goes into my body and how I take care of it more than I ever did.  Even though I'm a bit squishier, I care about my body so much more than I used to.  So wait at least three weeks before looking in a mirror and give yourself some time to just let it be.  And while you try to get the baby weight off, cut yourself some slack and appreciate the fact that God gave you such beautiful gift.

#8 - Know that it will get easier

I can still remember riding in the car with Josh on the way home from church.  Jake was about 12 weeks old and all of the sudden I looked up and felt my head clear.  I looked at Josh and told him that I felt like I as coming out of a cloud... like I had been living in a weird fog and I could finally see again.  I don't think this happens quite so literally for everyone, but understand that you will be so scatterbrained, confused, doubtful, and overwhelmed for a little while, and it's okay.  Eventually your baby will get over his or her colic.  Eventually your baby will sleep through the night.  Eventually you will understand what his or her cry means.  Keep in mind that this won't last forever.

#9 - Show that baby off!

It will happen.  You will walk into a room and suddenly disappear.  For nine months it was all about you, but now it's going to be "Oh hi, baby!" before they even see you.  Instead of letting that bother you, soak it up!  This is something YOU created... how amazing is that?  Great job, mama!

#10 - Believe it when they say that they grow up too fast

I hated this expression before I had kids.  I was always like "yeah, yeah... whatever."  And now Jake is two!  There is a reason people say this... it's so true!  So instead of always wishing for the next thing (I can't wait until he can hold his own bottle, I can't wait until she sleeps through the night, my life will be easier one he can talk, etc.) live IN every phase that you're at.  One day you'll blink and that baby will be a toddler, then a big kid, then a teenager, then off on his or her own.  

I don't think I set out to write ten of these and I probably could write ten more, but again, I wish I had someone who told me this stuff before Jake was born.  If you have advice on how to get the most out of your maternity leave time, I'd love for you to link up with me and share!

Reflections - The Waiting Room

Brittany over at "Daughter... Wife... Mom... Sis" chose the topic for our weekly Reflections post, and if you did not get a chance to check out the message video she chose, you should definitely do so (and it can be found here)!  But if not, before I jump into my take on everything, the short version is that while we're instructed to wait on God in many situations, that instead of sitting in a waiting room, we should turn the situation into a work room.  As in, do something while you wait in order to go the direction that God is trying to get you to go.  

Often times, even as we wait, we have a pretty good idea (or at least a partial picture) of what the final destination looks like.  Take church planting for example (since that is what most strongly applies in my life)... we always knew the big picture and had the end result in mind, but when it was just a vision, there were millions of little things to get through between point A and point B.  We had the vision, could "see" the people in the chairs on that first day, but when we decided to plant, we didn't even live in this town yet!  God had truly laid this mission upon our hearts, we felt called to do it, and yes, a lot of the next year would be spent waiting... waiting to move, waiting to hear back from people regarding a facility, waiting to met the right people, waiting for finances to roll in... etc.  Since we knew and had confirmation time and time again from God that this was HIS plan, I guess we could have just sat around praying and hoping that all of this stuff would happen in His timing, but that could have taken years and caused so worry.  Instead, we turned out waiting into working.  We moved to Lexington and made arrangements to live with my sister and her family until we could afford housing of our own, Josh made phone call after phone call to other pastors and tried to connect with folks, we talked to people everywhere we went to try and strike up some friendships, and we gave out of our own pockets with faith that God would match or exceed our own personal contribution.  The list goes on and on about the countless hours and sacrifice that we poured in, but because we put in the work, God has been blessing our socks off.  I really feel like had we just sat around and waited for this dream to miraculously come to fruition, we would still be waiting.  Our God is faithful, but he also does not expect us to be lazy.

If you're in a current place of feeling complacent and waiting for something to change in your life, I challenge you to re-evaluate your current situation and pray for direction.  Seek direction so that you can begin moving toward it... turning your waiting into working.  My very favorite point from Holly's entire message was this:

Let your pain trigger a praise as you position yourself to let God work on you as you wait.

Your pain can be due to frustrations, complacency, fear of the unknown, or any number of things.  But the word that jumps out at me is POSITION.  POSITION YOURSELF... meaning Pray more.  Ask God for direction.  Get in the word.  And paise Him even in your times of uncertainty.  In other words... SEEK.  Sometimes He's just waiting for you to stop long enough to ask!  And then once you have a direction... get to work!  A book will never get written if you never put the pen to paper.  A non-profit would never get started unless someone drafts a business plan.  A child will never grow spiritually if the parent never takes the time to show and teach him or her daily what it means to live out our faith.  

I hope these words encouraged you today, but I feel like I cannot do Holly's message justice, so if this struck a chord, I highly recommend listening to her words.  Brittany posted her take on it over at her blog (found here) and if it did strike a chord and you have chosen to share with us, please link up below!

Technically it's my week to choose a topic, but I am going to kind of cheat and pick one that Brittany mentioned a few weeks ago.  It's the song "Never Once" by Matt Redman.  We're all about talking about risk and overcoming fear here lately, so this goes along with that fear (hmmm.... what is God telling the two of us lately?).  You can find it here: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1bXG4WIesA).  Listen to the lyrics, meditate on the words, and share with us how it spoke to you next week.  

And as always, thanks for letting me share my heart... and thanks for sharing yours.  My little blog-land is one of my most favorite places to be.

What I'm Loving Wednesday

Lately I feel like I have a million blog ideas... and they are all over the place.  So since I may not get to do a full post on everything, I thought I'd participate in "What I'm Loving Wednesday" again and share a few.  So lately, here is what I'm loving...

1.  My parents are moving into their new home this week and guess what?  It's fifteen minutes away from me!  They've been in Florida for the past 12 years, so this is huge.  I also love that we've only been there once so far and Jake already knows that it's "Gramma's House."

2.  I'm loving everything that is happening with our church plant!  We launched TurningPoint Church in February and have already seen our numbers grow and (more importantly) lives changed.  Right after Easter we had a service with a spontaneous baptism and 27 people took the plunge!  Check out this awesome video (http://vimeo.com/41261638) ... the first guy in the water is actually Josh's dad and oneof the couples is my sister and brother-in-law.  It was an unbelievable day and God wows us every single week.

3.  With the anniversary of my blog coming up this summer, I'm looking into a blog redesign and even a new name that I have in the works.  I'm a geek, so this is super-thrilling for me.  I'm also loving that my blogger friends have been linking up and sharing during my Mama's Month series.  Yesterday's topic was favorite baby gear items... you should link up, too!

4.  Last week we rearranged our entire upstairs to give Jake and Lilly their own rooms.  Lil has been in her own crib in her own room for one full week.  Lil has finally slept through the night for one full week.  Coincidence?  I think not.  Our little diva just needed her own space!

5.  Last night a couple of friends and I put together an event to bring together moms in our neighborhood and community.  We had no idea what to expect but promoted it with Facebook and post cards that were handed out all over town.  There must have been about 30 women there and everyone hung out, chatted, and connected, which was our hope.  It was so awesome and I cannot wait until our next gathering at the end of the month!

6.  I was only going to do five, but I just have to add that I love how much my husband has spoiled me lately.  I know some of it had to do with mother's day, but all in all he's really just gone above and beyond to help me out at home.  Yep, I'm a lucky woman.

Told you these were all over the place.  Hopefully I'll find time to elaborate on some of it soon and stay tuned for a blog facelift coming this summer!  What are you loving this week?

Mama's Month - Baby Gear

I feel like I am the last mom on the planet to do one of these posts.  It's like a blogger's right of passage into mommyhood.  And while opinions widely vary on what a new mom should and should not buy (or does and does not need), I always find it interesting to see what certain people can't live without.  I really think that the baby industry has gone overboard and there really isn't all that much that we actually need to raise a baby, but I do love some items that just make life so much darn easier.  So if I had to get rid of the rest, these would be my top five picks for what I must have (minus diapers, wipes, a car seat, and other no-brainer essentials).

First up: the Fisher Price Space Saver High Chair.

When we got married, Josh's dad was super-generous and gave us his old dining room set.  Since we now had eight chairs for just the two of us, we decided that our home really did not need one more.  We opted to get this chair, since it straps onto a regular chair, and it's been one of our best purchases.  It reclines, so baby Jake could and now Lilly can sit in it and drink their bottles.  The pad comes out so it's easy to clean, but we just leave it out all the time now since toddlers are messy.  Plus, we can take it places with us, which is super convenient when we're traveling to stay with someone who does not have little ones.

Next is our video monitor... ours is the Summer Infant Slim and Secure, but I'm sure there are similar ones on the market.

Here's an item that I don't think is a necessity by any means, but it is SUPER nice to have.  The picture is clear enough to see that a newborn or infant is breathing and the night vision is fantastic.  Plus, I don't rush in there after every tiny noise because most of the time my kiddos are content just playing in their beds.  But honestly, it's the moments when you look at the screen and are totally taken off guard that make this little gadget worth it.  I once saw nothing but a bare baby bum and still have no clue how little Jake got his diaper off when he went to bed.  But it gave me a great laugh!  I will warn you though... it's hard to go to bed when you just want to watch your little one sleep soundly.

# 3 - My jogging stroller / travel system... ours is by BabyTrend:

I knew from the get-go that I wanted a jogger, and this one has been fantastic.  My sister has a BOB and aside from the canopy offering more coverage than mine, I think this one is just as good.  I've jogged with it numerous times and love that it has lots of cup-holders and storage space.  Our only complaint is that the seat only holds up to 22 pounds (whereas a lot go to 25), and since we make some solid children, they've both outgrown it by about six months old.  But all-in-all it's an affordable travel system, and a jogger is much easier to navigate through shopping malls, crowds, and uneven terrain.

# 4 - This is completely random and not on most people's lists I'm sure.  It's actually a new discovery for me- the travel bottle warmer:

Our family is on the go a lot and our kids are no strangers to road trips.  I frequently pump in the car and feed on the go, and this thing has been amazing to heat up refrigerated milk.  My pump did not make the list, but according to me, anything by Medela (I have the pump in style... but really, can you really pump "in style"?  There is nothing stylish about that process!) is the way to go.  Consider that a bonus item on the list!

I actually had a hard time coming up with a fifth, so instead of gear I'm just throwing in some things that I personally love, even though everyone is entitled to their own opinions.  This is just what works for my kids:

Diapers - Target brand are great if you've never tried them.  The polka-dots are cute, too.

Wipes - Huggies all the way for these tooshes.  They are thick and sturdy, which is a must.

Bottles - Playtex Drop-Ins.  Fewer parts to clean make this lady happy!

Swaddling Blankets - aden + anais... lightweight and big.  They make great nursing covers, too!

Steam Bags - Medela Quick Clean bags... great for pump and bottle parts as well as pacifiers!

Of course I could go on and on, which is why I chose for people to share only five.  I would love to see your favorites, too, and have a place where moms-to-be (or just moms in the market to update their current stuff) can find lots of suggestions.  If you did a post as part of my series, or if you've done a "Favorite Baby Gear" post in the past, please link it up with mine below!