Reflections - Accountability

Sorry for not getting this up until today (which goes for Brittany over at Daughter... Wife... Mom... Sis too) but my husband was out of town all week and, well, I wasn't able to accomplish much of anything aside from chasing down two little ones. And Brittany's 4-year-old had his tonsils and adenoids removed yesterday so she's been tending to that and will have her post up late as well.  Life happens, you know? But kudos to Laurel over at Welcome to Deckerville for beating us both to it.  So onto this week's topic, which is accountability:

Friends... we all have them.  Some are friends for a short season and some are friends for life.  Some are friends that you partied with in college or went wild with on spring break, memories that you'd maybe rather forget.  And then others are the ones who console you when you're upset or going through a difficult time, give you advice, and hopefully steer you in a different direction when you're choosing a not-so-great path.  Throughout my life I have had all of these sets of friends, many that are and will be my best friends for life, but if I had to choose one that holds me most accountable, it would have to be my husband (say it together... "awwwwww").  But seriously, since day one, he has been the one who has supported me the most, encouraged me always, and challenged me to be the best version of myself, even when it meant making tough changes in my life that I did not always want to make.  And his baseline measurement for everything?  Scripture.  With every protest I had and every time I thought he was wrong, he opened that book and showed me things I had never seen.  For example, if I got caught in a lie, he would point out that the Bible  It's funny to me now, but looking back on our journey together I can remember how frustrating it could be. To me the Bible was just a book of stories, but to him it was a manual for how to live your life, which is what it is supposed to be. Fast forward to now and it's the same for me and I hope and pray that my children will always view it that way.

But let me back up a bit and give you a little background here.  Josh and I met and had a bit of a whirlwind romance. We were already in our late twenties and were both ready to meet "the one." After one date it was evident to both of us that this was it- and he was even bold enough to tell me that. On date two. Yeah, my husband can be a bit intense.  And because of these feelings he asked me to marry him a mere six weeks after that first meeting. To look back on it, I still think it's a little bit crazy, but it's one of those things that with hindsight being 20/20, I know it was God's timing... because if we hadn't gotten engaged that quickly, we probably would not have made it.  Yes, you read that correctly... because we made a commitment to each other so early on, we decided to work through a lot of things that would have probably broken us otherwise. And these things I speak of are all accountability issues.

Let me preface this by saying that I was not some sort of horrible person before I met Josh. As a friend, I am the same... fun-loving, outgoing, caring (sometimes to a fault), and compassionate. I love people so much and am fascinated by how different we all are and love getting to know people better. But the trouble with this is that not only do I attach myself to the good ones, but I also attach myself to the "bad" ones. I put bad in quotations because I do not think people are inherently bad, but there are some who influence others in not-so-great ways, myself included. Because I love people, I also crave acceptance- I love to be liked, and to be popular if possible. With that desire being bigger than any set of standards I had set for myself and who I want to be as a person, it's very easy to make decisions that are not in your best interest... just to be cool. To be liked. A person (like me) often does things to impress whatever crowd they're running with at the time, whether good or bad. You see this with Olympians- they are all great because they surround themselves with greatness. On the other hand, a drug addict never set out to become one, but because they more than likely surrounded themselves with other drug addicts, they eventually end up running that same course, too. It's all about your circle of influence.

Before meeting Josh, I really thought that once you became someone's friend, it was almost your responsibility to always be that person's friend. But as he began to point out to me, some relationships do more harm than good, so why would I want to keep them in my life?  Uhhhh... I had no answer. Through our engagement, he encouraged me to evaluate all of the people in my life and try and sort out who it was that made my life better, who shared the same values, and who built me up to be a better person, rather than dragged me down.  Often people think that they are going to be the friend that changes a person for the better, perhaps helping them turn away from a bad habit or a bad relationship or even lead a non-believer to Christ. While in some cases this is true, more often than not the opposite happens. A person has to be willing and open to change before you can change them. But even more so than that, you need to remember that YOU can't change anyone, only Christ can do that. Severing ties is one of the most difficult things a person can be faced with, particularly if you inherently care deeply for the other person. But if a "friend" or past relationship is continuously tearing you down or bringing you pain, it's time to evaluate whether or not you will be a path to that person's heart change. And if not, it's time to move on.

There are still people in my life that probably question my decision to turn my back on some people from my past, shutting them out completely. In the world of social media overload, it's common for us to keep connected with everyone, good or bad: ex-boyfriends or girlfriends and even people who have betrayed us somehow still continue to be our Facebook friends. And for what? As Josh once asked me, do you think he/she really cares how you're doing these days? Curiosity is one thing, but caring is completely different. How I'm doing probably has nothing to do with a person from my past's happiness... that thought alone was just a bit egotistical of me. Like I said, it's not easy and the decision will probably be questioned, but in Josh I saw light and a future. I saw a man who would teach me the right ways to live according to the living Word. And without knowing it at the time, I must have had a glimpse of a future filled with freedom from those past decisions that brought me guilt or shame, often derived by unhealthy relationships with people who weighed me down or led me astray. Is my husband perfect? Of course not, nor does he claim to be. In fact, there are days that he drives me completely nuts and we still disagree on things from time to time. But at the end of the day, moving forward with him and making our marriage and friendship as strong as possible is far more important than the road I traveled down to get here. 

I hope you find this encouraging if you're facing any similar situations. I pulled few verses that helped me through a lot of this to share with you as well:

"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." (Matthew 7:6)

"If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea." (Matthew 18:6)

"Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'" (John 14:6)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

***

As for next week, I don't even know what the topic is because it's Brittany's turn to pick!  Keep an eye out for her post sometime soon and it will be at the bottom.  And as soon as I find out what it is, I'll share it in a new post, too!  I hope my words are encouraging to you, especially if you find yourself in this situation. Just remember that no matter what, you are loved. Have a fantastic weekend!

Reflections - Break My Heart for What Breaks Yours

Oh Thursday Reflection time, I missed you!  It was nice to be unplugged for a week, but I realized that two weeks is just too long to go without this time.  And I was welcomed back with this verse to meditate one:

"If you claim to be religious but don't  control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.  Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you."  -James 1:26-27

A few things stick out to me here... the first being the word "claim" vs. the word "caring."  It's the difference in stating that we are Christians and actually being the hands and feet of Jesus and doing the work of the Lord.  It's like this... my husband is in the last month of training for an IronMan triathlon right now.  For those of you not familiar, this is a 2 mile swim followed by a 112 bike ride followed by a 26.2 mile run all in a row.  This will take him somewhere in the ballpark of 15 hours, and many people attempt it and don't finish.  He has been training for over six months, buying and reading books on training plans, gear, and nutrition.  He gets his bike tuned up, he fuels his body with the right things, and is spending up to 20 hours a week sometimes working out.  So what's my point?  Well, he's equipping himself to do well at this event.  He could "claim" to be an IronMan without actually doing the race and people would probably believe him.  Or, he could even read all of this information and not apply it, not train, and just show up and try to wing it and be miserable.  For so many of us, that is what our Christian walks have been.  We "claim" to be a Christian and people obviously believe us, but what we do on a day to day basis does not show that.  We might even read the Bible, but we don't live it out by serving others daily, showing compassion, helping those in need, and spreading the Gospel.  As Josh would say, "sitting in a pew on Sunday mornings makes you no more of a Christian than sitting in my garage makes you my jeep."  We can do all of the acts of what we think is expected of us a Christian (church, Bible studies, etc.) but until the Holy Spirit really burns inside of us and breaks our hearts for what breaks God's hearts AND moves us to action (that's the really important last step), I feel like we shouldn't even make the claim. Being a Christian is all about the DOING.

Case in point... I grew up claiming to be a Christian, went to church, had all of the knowledge, could tell you most of the Gospel story, and believed that it did all go down like that in history.  But honestly, I lived for ME.  What I wanted, what satisfied ME.  I was my own God.  There was no part of me that felt a pull at my heart strings when I thought about the world's homeless population, widows or orphans, and I kept myself shielded from the sadness of the world on purpose.  Out of sight, out of mind.  I can tell beyond a shadow of a doubt that it has all been changing for me over these past four or five years.  When something moves me, I am compelled to try and do SOMETHING, even if it's just give money, and I never feel like that's enough.  As a church planter, my heart breaks for those who just don't "get it" yet, because I know what they're missing out on.  I look back on the years when I thought I had it all together and I realize now how much I was hurting.  I really was lost, but I couldn't figure out what was missing because I thought I had it.  Does that make sense?

About two weeks ago I talked on the phone with my college roommate.  We've been in touch through Facebook, but haven't heard each other's voices in a long time.  Somehow we got on the topic of our faith and she said it so well when she stated, "Kim, we really thought that we were good Christian girls, but how did we miss the whole thing?"  In the end, it was actually one of the best conversations I've had in a long time- we were like two "before" and "after" pictures who knew each other well in both situations.  I am so thankful for friends like her... she gets it and her heart breaks for those who don't.  Josh and I planted a church for that reason... we used to be on the other side of this understanding and realize how much better our lives are now that we have a true relationship with our God.  Planting this church was our "living it out."

But you know what you'll find?  Once you start, it won't be enough.  You'll want to help MORE.  You'll want to give MORE.  You'll want to do MORE.  It's a hunger that can never be satisfied. So you will find the people who use that as a crutch or an excuse.  You know the line, "well it's not like we can adopt all of the children in Africa, so what's the point of just taking one?"  Well you know what?  That ONE kid will be forever grateful!  That ONE person's life matters, just like YOUR life matters, right?  Are you saying that your life is more valuable than that one child in Africa?  And if nobody does anything at all then you know what?  You're right- we won't find a home for all of the children, but shouldn't we at least try to make a dent?  God commanded us to take care of the orphans and widows... did you know that if 7% of people who "claimed" they were Christian adopted ONE child, the world's orphan problem would go away?  That is shocking!  In a church of 100, that's only 7 people.  We run about 300 on the weekends, so we should see about 21 families moving toward this goal.  What if we all stopped claiming and actually started doing??  Now that's a world I want to live in!

Okay, so apparently this fired me up a little more than I thought it would.  It definitely struck a chord in me, that's for sure. And you're probably thinking, "well if that's your solution, then why don't YOU adopt a child?"  And the funny thing is that before we found out we were pregnant with Lilly, we were trying.  We knew it could take years so we started the process and even had a few interviews.  We started running into several obstacles and before we could get too frustrated we realized we were expecting.  Shortly after that, God laid it on our hearts that it was time to bring Josh's vision for TurningPoint Church to life.  It was not God's will for us at that time, but we both still feel that it is His will for us in the future.  I feel down to my core that there is a little baby out there waiting for us... whether or not he or she has been born yet or whether or not he or she is from the US or another country I do not know.  Whether or now we will adopt this child or simply foster this child I do not know.  But I do know that since I try and "Live it out" this gut feeling is a real thing- I must do something about it and when God says "move" I'll move.  I've shared that feeling with my family, but never publicly like this, but I must say it's kind of freeing.  It's like publicly announcing that, "Yes, God, I do trust You and I know You have this."  It feels good.

There was more that I was going to share on this topic, but I think I'll stop here for today.  Make sure you jump over to read Brittany's post at Daughter... Wife... Mom... Sis and leave your blog url in the comments section if you joined us this week.  Reading these posts is one of my favorite things to do.

As for next week....

I can't help but still be shaken up by the events that happened in Aurora, CO this past weekend.  I of course am saddened to my core for the victims and their families, but I am also so very troubled by the shooter.  What must he have been going through to get there?  But even more than that, I have to wonder why nobody saw this coming.  Did he have no friends?  Did nobody know him well enough to see that he was going off of the deep end?  And clearly nobody had been to his apartment since it was filled with explosives.  We'll of course never know the full story and we'll never understand.  In fact, I don't think we're supposed to understand, but he clearly did not have anyone in his life who truly knew him, could reach out to him, worry about him, or potentially prevent this horrible tragedy.

The Bible speaks a lot about accountability and being relational.  In fact, God's only true commandments to us were to love God and love people:

Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment.And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'(Matthew 22:37-39)

Not only this, but we should also surround ourselves with people who can build us up and hold us accountable, making sure we are living it out and encouraging one another in Christ:

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." (Proverbs 27:17)

This week I want us to praise the people in our lives that "sharpen" us- who continuously challenge us to be better versions of ourselves and hold us accountable.  I hope that we all having someone (or many someones) in our lives who do this.  If you don't want to be specific with names you don't have to be... or you can maybe share a story from your life when someone challenged you and led you away from temptation.  This verse is the heartbeat behind these weekly "Reflections" posts and Brittany and I started them as a way to (from a distance) continue to sharpen one another and encourage others to join us to do the same.  I hope you'll post on this next week!

Reflections - Gut Check!

Sooo... our weekly reflections post was a challenge to update others on how you're doing in your daily walk with God.  Yikes.  Last Thursday when that challenge was posted I thought, "oh this is so great!  THIS is what's going to keep me on track!"  And I have to admit... it did for a few days.  For about four days I made sure to do my daily devotional right when I woke up and it was wonderful.  I really felt like it started my day off on the right foot and put my mind and heart in the right condition to really make the most of the day I had been given.  And then like anything else... I fell right back into my "busy" routine.  Because of my growing to-do list, my daily quiet time kept getting further and further down on the list of priorities until it eventually just did not happen.  And so this morning, I hang my head in embarrassment as I come here to reveal that I still have a long way to go to be the Christian that God wants me to be.  More importantly though, I still have a long way to go to be the Christian that I know I can be!  My heart desires it more than anything and it's the discipline that I struggle with.  Schedules, routines, regimens, etc. have never been my strong suit, which is strange because I am the daughter of a retired Army colonel!  My schedule is different just about every day... I don't even get up at the same time everyday but just prefer to wake when I hear the little ones.  I typically go downstairs, feed and play with them while having my morning coffee and watching some sort of morning show and then get them dressed for their various activities that day.  I sometimes have to take a break from this to check my work emails and respond to anything that needs immediate action, depending on what time the day started.  From there, it's all a blur.  I work, do laundry, clean house, run the kids from here to there, shower (most days... and usually not until around lunch time), grab a snack or two (but rarely a full meal in the middle of the day), and sometimes run a quick errand.  So you see?  God gets lost in the midst of this "important" stuff.  Aside from spending quality time with my kids and doing my job well, the rest is seriously just junk that gets in the way.  It can wait, can't it?

So what's the point?  What can we do to see past the junk and get to the bread of life everyday?  Well, I've been thinking a lot about it... what wisdom can I offer when I don't even have it right myself?  And here's what I've come up with:

Fasting is a Biblical principle and something we see throughout history, mainly when a person wants to have a big transformation in their lives.  About twice a year, I do some sort of fast, one being giving up television completely, which reminds me of how unimportant "my shows" are.  The other has to do with some sort of food, which is more along the lines of what you find in the Bible.  The idea is to give up something that has a stronghold on you- that thing that gets in the way of your relationship with Christ.  The cool thing with anything having to do with food is that your hunger pains are physical reminders to pray or seek God... so that relationship grows.  While I am not suggesting that we all start fasting (although if you've never done something like it and want to grow your faith, I do recommend one), my new "hunger pang" is going to be chores... hang with me for a second.  Every night after I put the kids to bed, I run around like a crazy person putting all of the toys away and straightening the house.  I love to go to bed with a clean kitchen and feel like I sleep better.  So my commitment instead is going to be that before I can get to that, I need to sit down and have my personal time with our heavenly Father.  If He truly is more important than my messy house like I say He is, then any time I want to tackle a household chore, He needs to come first, whether that's taking my daily time with Him or saying a prayer, or just giving Him a few minutes of praise for all He has given me.  In the evenings, I do realize that I might come to a point where I'll spend my time and be too tired to clean up (gasp!) but you know what?  That mess will be there in the morning to tackle and kids are just going to pull it all out again anyway.  And I'm generally so tired at the end of a long day, that I doubt the mess is REALLY going to mess up my sleep.  In fact, I think I may rest easier knowing that my spirit has been fed.  I do realize that all of this adds up to discipline, which I self-admittedly am not good at, but rather than being a scheduled thing, it's more of a "hunger pang" thing, so I'm hoping that does me some good.  And for additional accountability, I'll give a weekly update on how that's going.  Deal?

Brittany posted her amazing thoughts on this topic over at her blog Daughter... Wife... Mom... Sis, and I have to tell you, it's pretty awesome.  She gives us glimpses into her journal and I think they will really bless you.  I'm thinking I need to start doing that to track my thoughts and progress like she does! And if you shared with us, please leave a comment!

As for next week, I'd hate to double up on a topic, but since we all just admitted that this is something we need to get better at, the challenge is to do another weekly update on your progress.  Maybe we'll make this some sort of 21 day thing, since that's how long it takes to make something a habit.  Put some of these new ideas and methods into place and see if that helps, and share with us on where you're at, what is working, and what is not working.  I also do not want to post a deeper topic than this because I'm not 100% sure that I'll be blogging this week as we leave for vacation tomorrow (wooo-hooooo!).  But I do promise to do my update when I get back if I don't get around to it this week.  Cool?

As always, thanks for reading and sharing and for the encouragement and accountability.  We rarely get comments on these things so I'm not sure if they bless you at all, but I can speak for Brittany when I say that we love coming together on Thursdays in this way.  She's in Colorado and I'm in Kentucky, but we're sisters in Christ and the distance doesn't matter.  Have a wonderful week of seeking, praying, and hopefully growing in Christ.

As for me?  This chick needs to get packed... sunshine and sand, here I come!

Reflections - Just Do It!

Happy 5th of July!  Having a holiday mid-week really through a wrench in my organizational skills, but it was a nice day off nonetheless... more to come on that... along with a catch up on what we've been up to and where we've been for the past two weeks.  Summertime does not mean slower-time for this family- we're running just as fast as always!  But let's get down to it, shall we?

This week's topic was based on a message that my husband preached last week from the book of James.  If you did not get a chance to check it out, you can view it online here, and the week 2 message is up now, too, if you are at all interested.  There was so much good "meat" in this message, so I thought it would be best to just hone in on a couple major points so that I don't write a blog post that would take you two hours to read.

The first, is applications.  So you claim to be a Christian, eh?  Did you know that Christian basically means "little-Christ"?  So if I asked you what you were doing on a day-to-day basis to be like Christ and show His love to others, would you be able to give me several examples?  What about reading the Bible?  Are you actively in the Word?  Are you tithing?  Are you praying?  ... Let me say this before I go any further: these questions are just as much for me as for anyone else.  Although I am married to a pastor, I can put all kinds of "priorities" in my life above these that I just listed.  It pains me to type these words, but I have to admit that I do not read my Bible everyday.  Eek!  And you know what?  There are days that I get in bed and realize that I did not speak to God all day!  And then I look back at my day and you know what I see?  That the "priorities" I put in front of those things were running around like a crazy person picking up groceries, cleaning up toys, doing laundry, and doing the everyday mundane things that are inevitably going to need to get done again tomorrow.  Cleaning up after two kids is like shoveling snow in a blizzard... so why should I focus so much of my attention on that when the creator of the universe is patiently waiting on me to come to Him?  I think I forget what a privilege that is.  I mean, think about it: the most powerful force in the entire universe wants my company?  He wants to bless me?  And He wants to do it even though I don't love Him and serve Him perfectly?  If the President of the United States or maybe even a famous actor, sports player, or public figure wanted my company, wouldn't I drop just about everything to see that it happened?  Wouldn't I let the laundry sit for another hour or two or the house go messy for a day so that I could work that out?  And yet, someone FAR more powerful and important than all of those things beckons me to Him everyday and I brush Him off sometimes.  "Give me five more minutes, God," or "Let me finish these dishes, God" or "I'm not ready to get up, God... You made me and understand that I need my sleep rather than getting up to spend some time with You" always get in the way.  Sound familiar?

And then there's the other issue of reading that book of His.  In order to be like Christ (so a Christian in other words), don't we have to know what He said and did while He was here?  And isn't that all written down for us?  I know as well as anyone that the Bible is an intimidating book.  It's big, and it doesn't use the same flow of language that we use in everyday conversation.  But as Josh points out in this message, there are so many different version and translations of the Bible, so you can always try a different one if the one you have isn't working.  I feel silly in saying that until about five years ago, I did not know that there was anything other than the King James Version!  No wonder I was confused!  So if you take nothing else from his message this week, I at least hope you walk away knowing that there are resources out there to help you understand what it is that He is trying to say to You.  We speak to Him through prayer... He speaks through us in His word.  How can we live it if we don't read it?

He summed it all up with this one verse found in James chapter 1 (imagine that!):

22 But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.23 For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror.24 You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like.

Josh puts it in language that we will definitely understand: "Don't just hear it, but DO it!" 

How often do we know what to do, but yet we go the other way?  And how often does that turn out the way we'd like it to?  Hardly ever.  So let's try it together... let's do the things that we already know, learn what we don't, and try them out, too.  Make TIME for God, for He is the giver of time... shouldn't He get some?  And put Him first, because He always puts you first.  Start making choices based on His word and see how your life begins to change.

As always, you can read Brittany's thoughts over on her blog here and leave your own thoughts as a comment.  Appropriately, Brittany picked next week's topic that falls right in line with this.  Coincidence?  I think not.  So here's the topic for next Thursday:

"I have been challenged to my core recently to really evaluate how good I am doing with "living it out" so I pose the question....how are you doing???  I'd like for us to focus on this for next week.  And share along the lines for some accountability what is working and what may not be working right now.  And I'd like for the MAIN IDEA to be that of "cooperation and discipline"...what do you think??"

So let's live it out together this week.  I'm particularly excited about sharing what works for you so that hopefully some of it can be applied to my own life.  And just like every Thursday, I look forward to meeting you all again here next week.

Reflections - Cornerstone

Happy Thursday!

Did you have a chance to listen to the song picked out for this week?  If not, it's Cornerstone by Hillsong and you can find it here... and even listen to it as you read this!  I admit, I had not heard it even though I love Hillsong, and it's actually a good fit for someone who grew up in a traditional church and is dipping their toes in the "contemporary" Christian music world.  I put quotations around contemporary, only because I personally do not really like the phrase.  Everything in this country, from technology to building structures to corporate infrastructure has always continued to grow and change and improve with the times.  When we have more resources available, why not use them, right?  But when the church puts a rock band on stage, we're viewed as "contemporary" and not just current with the times that we're living in... but I do get that some people are not as comfortable in that environment as they are in a more traditional setting, and that's okay by me.  We always say as long as you're in a church, we're happy... it doesn't have to be ours if that's not works for you in terms of worshipping God.  

WOW... what a tangent... sorry!  All I meant to say is that this song is basically a hymn with some drums, so yes, it's a good mix of the new and the old.  Cool?  Okay, moving on...

Instead of reflecting too deeply on the song this week, I thought about that word: Cornerstone.  I kind of knew what that was, but looked it up just to make sure I wasn't thinking of something else.  Webster's Dictionary defines it as this:

(1) - A stone forming a part of a corner or angle in a wall;  (2) a basic element: foundation

When I started this blog three years ago (already??), I never had any intention of doing any posts like this.  I'll get into a lot of this in a future post, but basically the original concept was to simply have a place to update our friends and family on how we were doing after moving across the country.  It was my outlet to write about our new home, new town, new friends, and our church planting experience, which I later found is almost impossible to put into words.  But after we got married and through the process of planting our first church, my faith and trust in God was put to the test... A LOT.  But you know what?  The more it was tested, the more it grew.  The more I doubted, the more I handed over to Him, and the more I felt His love.  I am a completely different person now than I was three years ago, and when you think about it, that's not a very long time in the grand scheme of things.  I had always known who God was, but I never really surrendered to Him, put my full faith in Him, or fully trusted Him.  It was so often my way or the highway, and my way always seemed to lead to trouble.  Hmmm... imagine that, right?  It wasn't until I decided to live by the principles set out in the Bible and follow the teachings of Jesus and read the letters from Paul that my life truly began to change, in all kinds of crazy good ways.  Sure, there are some tangible blessings: I have a great marriage (granted, that's all due to the two of us being committed to treat each other by what's outlined in the Bible), two beautiful children, a roof over our head, food in our refrigerator, money in our bank account (most of the time- ha!), and more friends than a person could ever want.  But the true blessings have been the intangible things... the knowledge that even on my worst day, things are going to be okay; the comfort in knowing that there is a God who loves me for ME, no matter how badly I mess up; the willingness to make the wrong things in my life right; the freedom of knowing that I don't have to be trapped by my past mistakes or be pinpointed as the person I used to be; and the peace in knowing that Jesus died for my sins so that one day I can have eternal life in heaven with Him and His people.  My life doesn't end here on this earth... I am just a visitor and my home is in heaven.

The reason my blog has weekly posts on a Christian topic now mixed in with the day-to-day stuff is because my life changed dramatically because of my relationship with God.  I knew who Jesus was, but didn't truly meet Him and get to know Him until I first started learning what He actually had to say, and secondly decided to let Him guide my thoughts and behaviors.  I am in such a better place than I have ever been and wish I would have figured this all out much sooner, but am thankful that I'm here now.  And I want others to have it... so I have no choice but to share.  A building cannot be sturdy without a cornerstone or a strong foundation as we learned above, and I, too, cannot be sturdy without Jesus in my life.  He is my foundation.  He is the root of all of my decisions and actions.  And He ensures that I don't crumble into rubble only to try and build myself up again without His help.  I've tried that path and although it works for awhile, it ultimately ends up giving you a lot of heartache.  My best day without Him isn't near as great as my worst day with Him.  And that, my friends, is news worth sharing.

My encouragement this week is to evaluate where you are at in your relationship with Christ and strive to make it better.  If you don't have one, I challenge you to learn more about Him... read His teachings, learn His story, and perhaps you'll fall in love the way I did.  If you do know about Him, work toward living BY his teachings, doing things HIS way, which again, might mean doing a little reading yourself to find out what all that entails.  Doing things this way makes life SO much easier.  And if you're not in a church, I challenge you to go out and find one... and one that connects with YOU.  Just because you grew up Catholic, Baptist, Methodist, etc. does not mean you have to continued down that path if you're just going through the motions on a Sunday morning and not getting anything out of it.  Those are all man-made religions, split only because of a few tiny differences in interpretation of something in the Bible.  When looking for a new home, look at it through the lens of how the people treated you and welcomed you in and how the message spoke to you.  You might know right away that it's not for you or you might be willing to give it a second shot just to see if that's the place.  And remember that it's not just important for you to go each Sunday just to "do" your obligatory one hour.  The reason it's so important is to surround yourself with others who are striving to live the way you want to live and trying to do life better.  We all mess up, and if we surround ourselves with people who have behavior patterns that we're trying to get away from, they are just going to pull us back down with them... the temptation is too strong and we are too weak.  But if we're surrounding ourselves with people who understand that we're not perfect and admit that they're not perfect and everyone is just trying to be better, well, chances are that path will be a little bit easier.  It's all about community... and it's all about living in the word.  Let God be the cornerstone of your life.  Try living His way for awhile.  Chances are, over time, you might find yourself blogging about things you used to roll your eyes at because you just can't keep it in.  In the end, I know where I'm going and I know who ultimately will be the judge, and my days won't end here.

Please jump on over to Brittany's blog and read what she has to say here, and if you shared something, please leave a comment so we can check out your post.  I will eventually start doing link-ups again, but right now it's a lot of work and we only have one or two linking up (if at all) so we'll just hold off on it.

For next week I'm going to put in a bit of a shameless plug and have us all watch a message by my personal favorite pastor, who I happen to be married to.  He delivered a slammin' message last weekend, which I think is worth sharing.  And for those of you readers who were actually there to hear it, perhaps you can share your reflections on it in my comments section next week.  Cool?  You can listen to it online here.

Alright... sorry this got up late this week, but better late than never, right?  Have a happy Thursday!

Reflections - Change the World!

Wow, is it Thursday again already?  This week has just flown by!

Last week I set out a topic that was not all that deep, but hopefully stirred up something within you.  As my husband often teaches, find the thing that ticks you off and that's probably what makes you tick.  Translation: if there is an issue in this world that breaks your heart, chances are that you'd serve very passionately to work toward that cause and it would fulfill you deeply.  For my husband, TurningPoint Church is the fruit of that... his heart aches constantly for those who do not know the love of Christ and he worked diligently to do something about it.  And for me, helping my husband fulfill his dream was what made my cup run over as well.  Granted, over time and through hearing story after story of what God's love has meant to someone who previously had not known it, my heart breaks for those who are without God as well, and without that, we could've never survived church planting together.  It baffles him that we don't automatically have that big hurt and we don't feel that urge to get everyone into a relationship with Christ, because he had that from day one.  And I know others like that, too.  But for most people, we go through a selfish period first (what can He do for me?), finally realize at some point the impact that having a relationship with Christ has made on our life, and then we start to want that for other people.  I really wish it was the other way around.  But I digress... where was I going with this?

Oh yes, how do I want to change the world?  That was what I put out there last week to reflect on, and for me, it really boiled down to how do I want to change my world (AKA current situation) right now.  You see, over the past year things in my life have been turned upside down in a very good way, but now that the dust is settling, I realize that I have put everyone else ahead of me and am not sure if I'm exactly where I want to be.  Does that make sense?  And hear me out... I think this was (A) completely necessary for this time in our life, (B) a conscious decision that I happily made and have loved, and (C) something that had to transpire in my own life.  Why?  Because, well, I spent the first 29 years of my life living very selfishly, and these past few have taught me the importance of putting others first.  My problems are not that big, my life is not that bad, and even on my worst day, I am more blessed than a large majority of the world.  Yet, I find myself complaining from time to time and a sense of dissatisfaction sets in.  Because like all selfish people (meaning... ALL of us), I want MORE for myself.  Now that the church is in a healthy state and our life is a little more routine (although we really don't know the meaning of that word!) I think it's time to self-assess and evaluate and find out exactly what that MORE that I want actually is.  Do any of us know?

There is a magnet on our refrigerator that says "If you could do anything and know that you could not fail, what would you do?"  A couple of weeks ago, Josh asked me if I had an answer to that question, and it was odd that I read it just about everyday.  So... I thought about it.  And you know what?  It turns out that as we stormed through life like a Tazmanian devil for the past three years, my dreams are still there.  They're still strong.  And the some have even come true!  I am married to a man that I adore, who inspires me to be better and do great things, and does many himself on a daily basis.  I have two incredible children, who I love more than this life.  We have a home, tons of friends, and more love than I could ever ask for.  Those dreams have come true.  And what's left are those "bucket list" types of accomplishments that are so personal they scare the crap out of me.  Some are small... get better at photography, learn to use Photoshop, learn new techniques to decorate cakes.  But then (gulp) there are those big ones that you don't even want to tell anyone for fear that you'll fail.  And then I think of that magnet, and well, at some point you just have to go for it, right?  Because I think the only answer to this dissatisfaction is tackling those things that leave you shaking in your boots.  Things like... (deep breath)... write a book, run a sub-four hour marathon, have a successful ministry (although I'm not sure for whom or on what), wear a post-baby bikini... okay, I just made that last one up, but seriously, how scary is that?  Like I said... BIG stuff.  SCARY stuff.  Stuff that could take YEARS to accomplish.  Stuff that require tons of work, commitment, time, and dedication.  Stuff that leaves me shaking in my boots.

But then I look at my husband and see the satisfaction painted on his face.  Since this dream welled up inside of him, there have been days that he thought he would fail, days that were tough, days when there was not enough time or money, and days that we thought we'd kill each other.  His dream is BIG.  His dream is SCARY.  But he went for it!

So... I think the way to fight dissatisfaction is always to be going after these big, scary things that we're afraid to say out loud.  If your 9-5 is just what gets you a paycheck right now or if you feel stuck in a rut being a stay-at-home parent, keep in mind that the dreams you had before life got crazy are still there- they might just be hiding underneath loads of laundry, piles of bills, or dirty diapers.  But I think they still want to be chased and it's in the chasing that we find contentment.  What are some of yours?

Okay, so that was so not where I had originally planned to go with this post, but sometimes you just have to go with it.  Now that I've put all of that out there, I guess it's time to get started, right?

Please check out Brittany's thoughts on the topic over at Daughter... Wife... Mom... Sis on this.  I think she basically said what I was trying to say before I got off topic and it completely rocked my socks off.  She and I are great friends and pastors wives who live WAY too far apart, but I love coming together like this each week.  We also hope that you shared this week and will link up below!

As for next week, here is what Brittany has challenged us to reflect on this week: 

I'd like for us to meditate on the new Hillsong song...."Cornerstone".....it is just absolutely UH...MAZE.....ING!!!!!!!!  You will not be disappointed.  It talks about God being our anchor and cornerstone in life!  Let's focus on the words of the song and share on what spoke to you most!  

Here is the link and the lyrics: 

CORNERSTONE

My hope is built on nothing less

than Jesus' blood and righteousnessI 

dare not trust the sweetest frame

but wholly trust in Jesus' name

-Chorus-

Christ alone, Cornerstone

Weak made strong, in the Savior's love

Through the storm

He is Lord, Lord of All

When darkness seems to hide His faceI 

rest on His unchanging grace

In every high and stormy gale

My anchor holds within the veil

[Chorus]

He is Lord, Lord of all

[Chorus 2x]

Then He shall come with trumpets sound

Oh, may I then in Him be found

Dressed in His righteousness alone

faultless, stand before the throne 

Reflections - Leadership

Good morning, y'all (that's right... I said it.  I have officially lived in Kentucky for a year so it's time I start using the lingo!).  Did you have a chance to listen to the podcast posted by Brittany last week?  If not, you can find it here.  And if not, I encourage you to jump over there and listen because Christine Caine (the speaker) really knows her stuff and is such an inspiration to men and women all over the world.  For those of you who have never heard of her, she and her family have been in ministry for a long time, but their main focus now is their A21 Campaign, which works to abolish sex trafficking all over the world.  Talk about taking on a really big, ugly problem, right?  And I am embarrassed to admit that until I heard her speak at a conference, I really had no idea how horrific and HUGE this issue is.  Did you know that there are an estimated 20 million people (mostly women and children) imprisoned by slavery today?  Against their will?  From child labor to prostitution, people are still being sold and shipped like cargo to live in bondage and I sit here in the comfort of my cozy living room and complain when my husband has to work late or my children won't nap!  It really puts things into perspective, doesn't it?  Okay, so I did not mean to go into that too much today, but if you did not know about this atrocity that is still occurring worldwide, I encourage you to look into it.  Knowledge is power and bringing awareness to any problem only works toward finding a solution.  And that's what I love about Christine Cain... she refuses to just sit back and let this happen... which brings me to my point today.

You only have to listen to her speak for about two minutes before you hear the point that I'm going to post on today.  She begins to talk about her 5 top qualities for leadership and although all five are great (conviction, confidence, commitment, consistency, and courage), one jumped out at me.  When she talks about confidence, I love that she specifically defined it as "confidence in Christ."  We've probably all been to leadership seminars in our lives, and even though confidence is probably touched upon, have you ever heard it expanded not just to confidence in ourselves and our own abilities, but confidence in Christ.  In God... who created the heavens and the earth and breathed life into you and me.  And ultimately, we can only have confidence in ourselves because all of our gifts and abilities come from Him.  But how many times do we shy away from something because we don't think we're good enough?  Maybe we don't apply for a job because we don't feel qualified or don't join in a discussion because we don't feel smart enough?  It's in these times that we need to take a step back and realize that we can only have confidence in ourselves if we first have confidence in Christ.

A good friend of mine has been going through a lot lately and it has been taking a toll on her emotionally.  Anytime we don't know the outcome of something, it opens the door to the what-if's and she found herself there, which is not a fun place to be.  I listened to her without much advice to give other than just to wait and see, but wish I had more.  Later that day I went home and opened up a new book we just bought for Jake called "Jesus Calling: 365 Devotions for Kids" just to skim some of the content.  First off, let me just say that I love this book.  He's still a little young for it, but even though it's geared toward children, I am getting so much out of it!  I think we complicate things as adults, so getting back to the basics is kind of nice sometimes.  But anyway, I "coincidentally" opened it up to the page that had these words:

"I am all around you.  Even when you don't notice Me, I am here.  you may not notice Me because your mind is tied up with other things.  Like worry.  A lot of people believe that worry is just a part of life.  But they are wrong.  Worry is actually a kind of unbelief.  Worrying says you don't believe I am big enough to take care of whatever it is that upsets you so much.  Worrying says you think I need your help.

Wrong!  I am big enough.  I am strong enough.  I love you enough.  Bring your problems to Me.  You can trust Me to take care of you- and whatever you are worrying about!"

I immediately called her back and read that to her... and then later emailed it.  The words that struck me here are "You don't believe I am big enough to take care of whatever it is that upsets you so much."  Ouch.  Do you ever find yourself there?  Without... wait for it... CONFIDENCE in Christ?  How can we believe that we can accomplish anything if we don't always believe (and know!) that God can do anything.  And not only that, but He can do anything THROUGH us.  We are his hands and feet and the only way He can do good in this world is to use us to do His work.  Which ultimately means that we are far more equipped than we even think, so sometimes we just have to step out of our comfort zone and just go for it!  If we just believed with all our might that we can be used in big ways, we really can be a light into the world and change it for the better.  One of my husband's favorite sayings is, "God does't call the equipped... He equips the called."

Is there something in your life that absolutely bugs you?  Something that breaks your heart that you wish could change?  It could be big or small... not all of us have to be as brave as Christine Cain to tackle a global issue (yet anyway... hee hee) yet there has to be something in your world that could be better.  Taking what we learned last week in this podcast, along with the words found in John 16:33, how can YOU use these things to make a difference?  How can YOU begin to change the world, or even just your current situation if you're unhappy with it?  Draw confidence in CHRIST this week and join us again here next week to share.

Please make sure to visit Brittany over at Daughter...Wife...Mom...Sis to read her take on this week's topic and then link up below or leave a comment to share your own thoughts!

Reflections - Prayer

What a week it has been... man oh man has God been at work on me.

Let me start at the beginning...

About three weeks ago I found myself at a point where I was really overwhelmed.  I am frequently on a soap box here encouraging others to ask for help or to give something up instead of overloading themselves.  I'd also blog about how busy our life was, but how much joy we were getting out of the busy-ness.  But do you know what was actually happening?  Life was getting busier and busier, and I was getting farther and farther away from God.  To the point that I physically could not talk to Him.  I would try of course, but I literally felt uncomfortable when I tried to pray.  To you that may seem silly, but it was born out of my own knowledge that I was not seeking Him daily.  Or even weekly to be honest.  I was writing these weekly posts and that was about the extent of it.  So when I'd go to pray, I felt like it was not heartfelt and that God would not like that.  And that made me feel a bit... well... dumb really.  I happen to know deep down that God likes all prayers, whether they are silent meditations or quick little snippets in a quiet moment throughout the day, but for me, I could not settle my spirit enough to bring any meaningful words to Him.  The noise all around me was just too loud and even when I tried I could not block it out and just focus on Him.  And that made me feel guilty, too, and pushed me farther away.  And I hated it.  I knew deep down something wasn't right.

So you know what I decided?  Instead of just going to Him and seeking His help (like I encourage you all to do each week... and still stand firm in that encouragement, by the way, but sometimes need to take my own advice) I decided that I should probably give something up;  something that was sucking up my personal time.  So as you might have guessed, my blog is what was almost put on the chopping blog.  I say "almost" because my mind has since been changed on this decision, but I'll get to that in a minute.  So yes, a few weeks ago I decided that I'd stick it out for a few more weeks and then I'd shut her down.  I didn't have time for it and even though it's something I love to do, I didn't feel like it was a valuable use of my time.  My mind was made up.

Then we posted on humility last week.  I have to admit, that verse ("Humble yourself before the Lord and He will lift you up" ~James 4:10) resonated with something deep inside of me.  I had at some point over the course of the past few months taken on an "I-can-do-it-all-without-You" attitude and hadn't even realized it.  But after I wrote my post on humility, it was as if that verse took a tiny little hammer and started chiseling away at whatever wall I had managed to build between me and God.  And then I posted that this week's topic would be prayer.  (I'm getting to my point... I promise... just bear with me).

Fast forward to Friday of last week.  Josh and I had plans to go out of town and I felt like we had a million things to get done before we left.  My car was in the shop and Josh's dad came by to pick him up to go get it.  Without me asking, he said that he'd go ahead and take the kids with them so I could wrap up my work for the week.  Perfect.  The door shut behind them and I went back up to my office and sat in front of my computer, fully intending to get some work done.  But instead, reveling in the silence for a few moments, I procrastinated and perused a few blogs.  I have a few that I frequent and one is written by a girl I went to college with who has over 1000 followers.  She generally blogs about her life, fashion, and events... a light read and something to break up the monotony of my day.  But on this particular day, she posted about her faith.  Do not ask me why, but reading that post broke me down.  I sat there and sobbed because she was posting on something that I had been trying to get across to people- that God fills a void in our lives and turns things around for the better like nothing else can.  Only she had 1000+ people reading it!  And then I felt guilty (again) for feeling this way because again, it's not about me.  It's not about how many followers I have.  But I guess in that moment I confirmed (in my own mind) that my words out here in blog-land don't really make a difference.  That nobody even really reads this.  It was my own sick, twisted "woe is me" moment.  Plus, I should have rejoiced that someone with a big following who never posts about that aspect of her life was sharing the good news about God.  Again, sick and twisted.

But this is what I love about God.  Sometimes it takes us coming to our breaking point for Him to give us a breakthrough.  In the quiet of the house I prayed like I haven't prayed in a very long time (between sobs) for Him to take that feeling of "it's about me" away.  I begged Him to not let me feel silly or stupid or half-hearted every time I tried to pray.  I prayed for my kids and my husband, something I should be doing every day.  I prayed for every single person in the church and for the ones I haven't met yet.  I prayed for friends who are going through difficult times, because I told them I would and want to make good on that promise.  Besides, I know prayer works... I have seen it time and again in my own life, so the least I can do is pray for others.  I think I cried and prayed out every ounce of self-pity that I could have possibly found within me and asked Him to take it.  I don't want it any more and I cannot carry it around with me.  It's not welcome here... He can have it and I know He can handle it better than I can on my own.  And when I said my "Amen," the crying stopped.  Just like that.  It was strange, because I am pretty much the ugliest cry-er around, but when Josh returned he couldn't even tell.  I had to fill him in later all about my breakdown.

We went out of town Friday night to celebrate our anniversary a little early and had a a great time getting away from it all.  And when I got back, I noticed that not one, but two people had linked up on our Reflections post last week, which was a first.  It was as if God was saying, "look... people do read this and want to help minister to others, too!"  And then I got a Facebook message from someone I hadn't talked to in awhile thanking me for a post that was helping her through a difficult time.  Alright, God... you have my attention.  And then here's the kicker: I met a lady at the church who showed up on a Sunday morning because a friend of hers in Illinois reads my blog and knew she lived here in town and should come check out the work we're doing.  Say what??  Okay, God... now you're just showing off!  :)

This whole story may sound silly and petty to you... but it was the absolute confirmation that I needed.  He came through.  He always does... but He was just waiting for me to ask.  I made the decision to give up blogging on my own and He answered with a "Had you just asked me, I would have shown you sooner to stick with it."  I do write this blog for me and it is something that I am passionate about and love doing, but He showed me that it does matter to others, too, even if it's just a handful of people.  And that's okay with me because even if it just helps one person, that person matters.  I also realized that until I do prioritize my time and find ways to cancel out the noise for a few moments everyday to seek Him out, He's not going to give me a bigger following (which is not what it's all about... like I just said).  If I'm not pouring His word into myself, why should He trust me to be able to pour into others?  An empty pitcher cannot fill up any cups- it's as simple as that.  I read a book by the incredible Lynne Hybels (look her up if you've never heard of her) and she illustrated the most perfect word picture:

She wrote something to the effect of if you're juggling all kinds of balls in the air trying to keep them all close to God, don't forget that you're then the farthest away.  We try to hold our husbands up, keeping them nearer to God.  We definitely try and keep our kids way up there, showing them God everyday.  And maybe we serve at church or lead a team and try and keep that one up there, too.  But when you're holding everything above yourself to keep them nearer to God, you're the one left at the bottom... farthest away from Him.  All of these things ultimately get in the way of our direct connection with our Father if we're not careful in how we juggle.

So this week, I hope you can cancel out the noise in your life for a moment or two each day to lift up your praise and needs to God.  He doesn't need some eloquent speech either... just talk to Him like you would a friend, because that it who He is.  If He is truly our father in heaven, you can come to Him when you're busy, tired, scared, happy, or confused.  He just wants you to seek Him out.  Whether it's down on your knees or driving down the road, talk to Him... bring your worries, problems, frustrations, and doubts to Him.  He's always there and always waiting.

 ²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  (Matthew 11:28-30)

Thank you for being a bit of an emotional dumping-ground for me today.  I usually do not get this personal here, but I think if we all just got real with one another we'd realize that we're not alone in our times of doubt and self-pity.  My problems are small compared to many, but I am a work in progress just like everyone else.

For a different take on the topic, please visit Brittany over at Daughter... Wife... Mom... Sis for her insights.  And of course, if you posted on the topic, please leave a comment or link up below.  And whether you like it or not, this blog is not going anywhere for awhile!

Brittany picked the topic for this week and I am excited about it... if you've never heard of Christine Caine, look her up RIGHT. NOW.  She is incredible and has done amazing things through her ministry career and the A21 campaign.  Here's what Brittany posted:

I would like for us to listen to this podcast by Christine Caine.  It was recommended to me last week by a friend and I'm so thankful for the timely encouragement and challenge that came with me listening to it!  Enjoy this amazing woman of God...
Christine Caine - Women in Leadership Principles