Our Other BIG Announcement...

There has been so much going on within our family lately that I have steered clear of the blog just to make sure I kept some necessary things to myself until the time was right to share.  But since we made our announcement to church this morning and later on to the rest of the staff, I have been given the green light to share with all of our dear friends who peek in on us from time to time here.  But let me start at the beginning... this goes way back!

Before we were even married, Josh looked at me one night and told me that he felt like God had put it on his heart to plant a church.  I know I've shared bits of this story on here before, but I feel like it's truly the start of this journey.  At the time, I looked at him like he had three heads.  I didn't even know what that meant, had never heard the term "church plant," and could only relate it to some sort of cult.  Clearly I was not ready for that.  It was only a matter of months that he stumbled across the Crossroads campus pastor job, applied, and we came up to Small Town, Illinois to interview.  I can't say that I fell in love with Small Town, Illinois right away, but I did fall in love with the organization and the people.  When we met some of the folks that were trying to put a campus in their town (the town we would be moving to), I could see the pleading looks on their face.  They knew that they needed a life-giving church in their town, for themselves, their families, and for future generations.  There was a hunger and a burning for Jesus that I had never seen before, and I was moved.  I told Josh that we needed to do whatever it took to be a part of putting that campus in their town.

Over the past two years, we have ministered in Small Town, Illinois, seen hundreds (literally) of people commit their lives to Christ, marriages become restored, addictions overcome, and filled the seats with folks who had not stepped foot in a church for years, if not ever.  Between this Easter and last Easter, over 150 people publicly stepped into the waters of baptism to celebrate their commitment to Christ.  These past two years have been nothing short of amazing.

With that being said, similar conversations about the desires of my husband's heart and his visions of planting a church would sometimes come up over these past two years.  In true Kim fashion, they usually continued to be met with a panicked look that would fall across my face.  In my mind, this dream of his would definitely happen and be something that I would be supportive of, but it would probably happen five or ten years down the road.  That sounded comfortable enough.  That worked for me.  So imagine my surprise when I didn't balk at the idea when he brought it up to me this spring.  There was a tug in my spirit that I couldn't explain and for the first time, I actually had an inkling that the time was near.  Fast forward to just a week later when at the end of one of our messages, a pastor that we have looked up to for a long time was featured in a video because he had given his last message the week before at the church that he pastored.  He had been battling cancer and knew his time was incredibly near.  The message moved me to tears and struck a major chord with me.  He had definitely lived a life of significance, pastoring people and founding an organization that has seen and funded hundreds of new church plants across the country.  This man was making sure Jesus was being introduced to these hungry communities.  And he reminded us that when there is a call on your life, you really need to listen.  There will never be a good time, so what are we waiting for?  Obedience truly is a learned behavior.  Later that night I told Josh that the time was near... God was definitely calling him to do this, I knew he had the gifts and talents, and I was ready to go wherever He was leading us.  It was truly a turning point in this adventure.

Over the next month, we thought and prayed about what this would look like and where this might be.  We knew God had big plans and it was only a matter of time before He revealed them to us.  Josh started feeling like Kentucky was our next move, and although I had similar feelings of my own, I was hesitant to consider them too closely.  My sister and her family lives in Kentucky and I did not want to feel like maybe I was feeling like that was the right place because I would love to be closer to them.  I wanted to make sure I was listening to Him and not to my own selfish desires.  I think I mentioned every place around Kentucky without mentioning Kentucky itself.  Josh continued to feel strongly about it, however, so we decided to go visit and just get our eyes on the place.  We spent three days there, met some people from my sister's school, and drove around Lexington, Georgetown, and Paris.  We spent the majority of our time on the north fringes of the city and found that there was definitely a void.  Hundreds of new homes were everywhere, but very few churches.  Hundreds of families, but not many places to go.  When we met my sister's teachers friends and just mentioned that we were considering a church plant in that area, I saw that same desperate look- those same pleading eyes.  It brought me back to the moment when I knew our move to Illinois was what God was calling us to do.  I had the same tug on my spirit, like a hand gently pushing me in that direction.  Well, it was more like a shove, which is probably what a stubborn gal like me needs from time to time.  

As for my other doubts based around whether or not we were choosing this area for the right reasons, my sister cleared that up because of one sentence out of my sister's mouth.  When we told her about the potential of us moving there to start a church she said, "Oooh!  We're going to have a church!"  I had expected something to the effect of "You're going to live so close!" or "I get to see Jake all the time!" or something like that, but instead it was excitement that their search would be over.  Her family had given up on trying to find a church that worked for their family because they just couldn't find the right fit.  My heart broke.  The Bible tells us that our mission begins at home, but my sister and her husband had been unable to find the tools in their area to help their family grow spiritually and live that out.  By the time we packed up the car and headed back home, we knew this was the right place.  We had found our next ministry and our next home.

Over the couple of weeks Josh has been meeting with the leadership of our current church and helping them set up our current campus for success long after we're gone.  He and I both know that the pastors don't make people come to church, but having a good one sure does help.  We know that God is bigger than that and us leaving would not cause our church to stumble in the least as long as we leave it in a healthy state and a healthy way.  As an answer to our prayers, our current worship leader and youth pastor interviewed and fit the bill as our replacement.  He and his wife have become incredible friends of ours and they are two of the most kind-hearted, generous, loving, and prayerful individuals that I have ever met.  They truly taught me what it means to let yourself go and immerse yourself in the words of a song, and I will miss hearing his voice sing to the Lord every Sunday.  Our church family here is so blessed to have them, and although it doesn't make it easy to leave, it gives us an even greater sense of peace about it.  And today when we announced it to the congregation, there were a lot of tears built out of relationship, but also a lot of words of encouragement and excitement for the journey ahead for us.  We know that in this next year we will have more support, love, and prayer from people in Small Town, Illinois than we could have ever dreamed of.  God is really watching over us and I know His hand is all over this.

As for us, our last Sunday with Crossroads is on June 12th.  We will open the doors and have our very first services at TurningPoint Church in Lexington, Kentucky in February 2012.  We have a lot of work to do between now and then, as well as a lot of stuff to figure out personally, but we both could not be more excited.  I tell people that I am so confident that this is God's will for our lives because of the peace I have about all of the unknowns that lie ahead; the timing for our family could not be more inconvenient.  In the next nine months we will be trying to sell a house, find a new place in a new town, transporting all of our belongings, going down to one income, raising a one-year-old, and bringing a newborn into the mix.  My usual self would be so stressed out by now that my head would probably explode.  But I surprisingly have very little anxiety about it.  I know it won't be easy, and I know that there will be some difficult and very stressful times along the way, but I also know that we're being obedient and that our Father will provide for us.  I never understood the phrase "a peace that passes understanding" until now, and I am so very thankful.

For those of you here in Small Town, Illinois, please know that we leave here with such mixed emotions.  We are excited for what lies ahead, but will miss you all tremendously.  Our life as a married couple and as a family started here.  My first real role in ministry began here, and although I know I still need to grow by leaps and bounds to be the pastor's wife God made me to be, He definitely did some important work on me while we were here.  I truly have a love affair with the Midwest now... and it's not because the location itself is something spectacular but because of the hearts of the people who live here. I have never in my life met more warm, generous, friendly, and loving people anywhere else in the world and I have lived in a lot of places!  You just don't find folks better than this, and I know that our friends here have helped me grow into a better woman and a better friend.  I am forever grateful.  I also want you all to know that we're not just going to disappear from this place.  Over the summer we will be here from time to time as we take care of our personal business and will stay connected well beyond the move.  This place is so special to our family and I know that we can't leave without looking back.  So don't think you're getting rid of us so easily!

I know this has gotten long, and there is still so much that I probably could have shared, but our ask is that you please put our family on your prayer list.  Like I said, there are so many unknowns out there right now, but we know where the path is leading us.  And if any of you know folks in the Lexington area that have been without a church home for awhile, please try to connect them with us.  We'd love to share our vision and our passion for what God is calling us to do.

I look forward to the first weekend of February next year when I can look back at this post and remind myself of where this next part of our journey began.  What I do know for sure is that God is up to something big, and I am humbled to be a part of it.  We love you all so much... thank you for the love and support you show us every day.  I look forward to sharing this journey with you all over this next year.

MIA

Well it seems as if December is flying by and we have been nowhere to be found! As it turns out, we did ditch our laptops and cell phones for a few days and headed north for a retreat with all of the Crossroads' pastors and their wives. It's a rare occasion that we are all together in one place, so we just soaked it up and truly enjoyed the company. God did some amazing things to restore and refresh us all as we look forward to the new year and it was just what everyone needed.

On another note, the house that we stayed at was UN-believable! A very generous family allowed us to stay in their (very large) home and it was like stepping into the pages of Pottery Barn. And even though I meant to take more pictures of our beautiful abode, I guess I was too wrapped up in relaxing. Oh well. But I did manage to get a couple of shots of my favorite room in the house... how much would you love to be the kid who sleeps in this room???


And yes, those bunk beds are on both sides... 8 in total! I'm thinking my parents need to build this in their future retirement home when all of us kids bring our kids over for family vacations. Hint hint!

Our other favorite place in the house was the basement, complete with ping pong, pool, shuffleboard (kind of... I'm not really sure what the table version is called) and a play room full of toys that Jake certainly enjoyed. And while the boys played, I took the opportunity to have a little bit of fun with my camera!

Here's one way to look at this game...

And here's another, more fun way...
And here is where I had the most fun! We learned a group version of ping-pong where everyone circles the table and hits the ball, drops the paddle, and circles to the other side. You're constantly running around and around and everyone gets a turn. In a still frame it looks like this:

But I slowed down my shutter speeds and captured these:

Oh the things that entertain me! Anyway, that's my excuse... that's where we've been. And quite frankly, if I had my way, I'd go away like that at least once a month. Being disconnected in this ever-connected world sure is nice sometimes. And then I come home and blog about it! Ha!

Ministry-versary

When I was a freshman in college, my resident assistant Marissa knew that I was one of the few kids not going home for Easter and invited me to church with her. Glad to have someone to spend the day with, I happily obliged and off we went in our Sunday best to go celebrate the resurrection. During the service, however, I was extremely uncomfortable. There were no hymnals, but a band with drums and an electric guitar instead. The words were not in a book but on a large screen in the front of the auditorium. But the strangest part to me was that as I looked around, people were singing and holding their arms up in the air as if they were trying to actually grab a hold of heaven. I was so distracted that I could hardly even concentrate on the message and instead just looked around the room. I wondered who all of these weird people were and why they thought that this was an acceptable form of church.

It took me until I was 27 to walk back through the doors of another one of “those” churches. And I must admit that my motives were not holy in the least as I was only there to see my boyfriend (now husband) preach a message. This time I at least embraced the music a little more as some of the songs were the same ones that we listened to while riding around in his jeep and were at least somewhat familiar. Just like seven years prior, however, I still looked around and tried to figure out why these people felt compelled to raise their arms in the air. The church I knew was one where you stood and sang off-key to hymns that were written hundreds of years ago. Granted, I do love many of them, but the majority were just songs that I muddled through in order to get a few minutes closer to getting my obligatory hour of church over with. In the weeks that followed, I continued to go to the contemporary worship service, but only to hear Josh preach the message. After a few weeks, I began to learn the songs by heart and even found myself humming them to myself at work or on my long runs. I felt less and less uncomfortable when others lifted their arms toward the heavens, but my hands stayed firmly gripped on the pew in front of me. I wasn’t going to turn into one of them. That would be weird. That was not how church was supposed to be.

Fast forward a mere two years later and here we sit, celebrating the first anniversary of our campus of Crossroads Community Church, a contemporary church nonetheless. Not only am I an attendee, but I’m the pastor’s wife… who would have ever thought (certainly not me)! The story on how we got here is a good one, and one that I should probably tell in a future post (although I need to look through my archives and see if maybe I’ve told it already) and it was the first time that I really understood the call of God. Yes, He spoke to me; not really in words, but in a feeling. He told me that this was the move that we were supposed to make and the ministry that we were supposed to lead. When we had arrived to check it out I was convinced of the opposite, so even I was surprised after doing a complete one-eighty in just a couple of days.

Even after the move I did not necessarily jump in with both feet. Ministry was Josh’s job and his responsibility. According to me, my main role was to stay home and be his doting and supportive wife. Many difficult conversations transpired in those first months about this, and I always felt that Josh was being too hard on me. Wasn’t it enough that I moved across the country for his job? Wasn’t it enough that I left my friends and family behind? Wasn’t it enough that he worked like a maniac while I sat home all alone many nights pregnant with our first (and unexpected) child? It just wasn’t fair. It seemed that during those first few months I forgot that it wasn’t Josh, but God Himself, that called me here. And He called me to do more than just sit at home and support my husband. He called me, as He calls all of us, to serve.

I’m not sure what made me finally “get it” or when it happened. I think a lot of it came about when I finally got to stop filling in gaps that Josh needed to be filled and actually found the place that fills up my heart. During those first few months I worked with the tech team running slides, lights, and video. It wasn’t bad, but it was just a task that I had to get done each week. Then when we launched our youth program, I told Josh that I would run it since nobody else was stepping up to the plate. My heart ached for our high school kids, especially our high school girls, but I soon realized that the ache did not translate into a passion for leading the entire group. I did a mediocre job at best and it wasn’t long before Josh had it back on his plate. Sure I felt guilty, but why would he want me to lead it anyway? It’s not like I was good at that kind of thing! Looking back on that decision, I know that it was not a good fit from the start, but I at least could have made a better effort in order to serve those kids. The program survived many turnovers in leadership, but I certainly did not help in making it better. It’s something that I learned from and will always feel a little bit disappointed in myself about.

When Jake was born I took a little bit of time off just to be a church attendee. I worked in the nursery occasionally so that I could spend more time with my little munchkin and found that I loved being with all of those babies! They just brought so much joy to my day. I had always had a bit of an interest in helping out with the pre-school program and it was really through my time at the nursery that I spring-boarded into our pre-school ministry. I started leading their little worship songs and teaching their Bible lessons and would come out on Sunday mornings feeling so happy and fulfilled. Seeing those kids reach their hands to the Lord (yes, we start making them “weird” young here!), praying out loud, and reciting Bible verses still amazes me every day. They get it. They get it long before I ever got it. I sat for years in a church. I have known who Jesus was for as long as I can remember and even knew that He died on the cross to redeem me for my sins. I fully thought that I was, without a doubt, going to heaven regardless of how I spent my time Monday through Saturday. I would repeat the same sinful behavior over and over and over again, beg for forgiveness, carry around a burden of guilt, do my one hour of obligatory church (occasionally) on Sunday morning, and repeat the pattern. Wash, rinse, repeat- that’s all there was to it. I was spinning my wheels and did not even know it. I really think that it was through this journey with Crossroads that I really met Christ… that I really got it in the way that these little children are getting it. And the amazing part to me is that through it all, over all of those twenty-some-odd years, He has been waiting for me. In those desperate moments of prayer, He was listening and comforting me, but He was waiting for me to say “Yes, God, I am a sinner and I want to live differently.” I do give a lot of credit to my husband for showing me a better path and accepting me, exactly how I am, despite knowing where I had been. He demonstrated how Christ loves us and I really feel like that is what really started making me “get it.” And I am thankful every single day. I don’t miss the person that I was, but I sure enjoy trying to be a better one every day. And I love what God is doing in my life to show me that I am on a better path.

So after this first year of being a pastor’s wife and serving in ministry, I guess you could say I’ve come a long way and learned a lot. I have actually paid attention to what the pastor is saying in his messages, taken notes, and really tried to apply the principles to my life. I have been so moved by a testimony or even a song that I have literally wept in service. I have prayed so deeply and so fervently that it was almost frightening to me as to how the words just flowed so quickly out of my mouth, as if I had no control over them at all. I have actually cracked open my Bible several times each week and dug into the word. I have found moments of pride when I finally come to a place of understanding over Scripture that I have read many times and just couldn’t really figure out. I have begun to understand salvation and the magnitude of the sacrifice that God made for us. I have a son now and cannot fathom watching him be beaten to a point where he would be unrecognizable and then killed in the most brutal way possible even if it meant that he would be saving the world from their sins. The thought of Jesus on that cross while his mama wept down at his feet brings tears to my eyes even now. And to think that Jesus knew me when he was hanging up there. He knew me. He knew my name and with His final words which meant, “The debt has been paid in full” He was essentially saying that He did this for me. Yes, little old me who thought that people who raised their arms up in church were weird and who spent Monday through Saturday living a sinful existence for years and years. How incredible is that? In this past year I have learned that heaven is a real place, but hell absolutely is, too. With that, I have learned that my previous beliefs were wrong that that heaven is not the default, which means that unfortunately hell is, and that scares me more than I can even tell you. I have prayed to the North, South, East, and the West for people in those regions to truly meet Christ and with that meeting, learn the things that I’ve learned and find the things that I’ve found. I have ached for family and friends that have made me question as to where exactly they stand. I have learned that the longer I serve beside my husband, the more I hurt for those who still do not “get it.” I have learned that the hurt grows bigger and bigger with each passing day. I have driven past houses that are poorly kept and see filthy children playing unsupervised outside and I have a strong desire to gather them all up and just take them home and show them some love. I have attempted to comfort a widow and her family, while feeling completely unequipped to have any words of encouragement or understanding as to what they were going through. I have learned that sometimes a person just needs a hug, and that’s the easiest thing to offer. I have learned that the ache that I mentioned earlier for those high school girls grows bigger everyday because I do not want them to have to go through the bad decisions that I went to in order to arrive where I am today. I would much rather have them realize that God has already picked out the perfect person for them and he will come in God’s time, not theirs. I have learned that waiting 27 years to meet my perfect match was well worth it, and that I underestimated what God had in store for me. I have learned that I have way more than I could ever deserve. I have learned that the more I give, through time and money, the more blessings I receive. I have had things happen that I would have once called a “coincidence” but now understand that it is simply God pouring out His blessing in return for our service and love. I have learned that I have a heart and passion for the mission field and will not be surprised at all if one day He calls my family to Africa, South America, or somewhere we cannot even imagine. I have learned that the more I understand the teachings of the Bible, the more ugly I see in the world. I have learned that movies and TV shows that used to not bother me now seem ugly and full of filth. I have learned that conviction can be a very positive thing that always points me to the right path when I might otherwise go astray. I have learned that my family is more loved and prayed for than I would have ever imagined.

I could go on and on and on (obviously) with the things that have transpired within me over this past year. This list could easily be ten pages plus if I let it, but that still would not even cover a fraction. I know that I don’t owe the credit to Crossroads, to my husband, or to the people who have disciple and encouraged me over this past year, but I do thank them for being facilitators in this journey. Clearly it is nobody but God. And oh how I am grateful and overwhelmed!

Happy Birthday, Crossroads, but for me it’s an even happier anniversary for my start in this life of ministry. I will never understand why God chose me to take part in this role, but maybe it’s because He knows that sometimes imperfect people (who fully admit and understand that they are imperfect) can make a bigger impact on other imperfect people who need Him. I am honored and humbled at the opportunities that lie ahead and look forward to making that list above even longer in the years to come.

And oh yeah… there is one more thing that I forgot to add. Over this past year, I have learned that sometimes the words of a song can move me to a place that I can’t help but feel my arms reach up toward the heavens, reaching for God to pour out His love onto me. And with that, I have learned that I am one hundred percent okay with doing so, even if that means that someone out there thinks I’m a weirdo. Maybe one day they’ll surprise themselves, too. I certainly hope so.

I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.

~Psalm 63:4

Pure Joy

Easter 2010...

102 SPONTANEOUS Baptisms in Small Town, Illinois

When God moves, He moves BIG

It was an honor to even have the privilege of witnessing the public declarations of so many people that we know and love. The joyful energy in the room was electric and palpable- a feeling I cannot describe nor will I ever forget. There was no better way to celebrate the Resurrection of our Lord and Savior. What an amazing day... God is oh so good!


For a full post on baptism (dunking vs. infant sprinkling), you can check out the post about my own baptism here.

Showers of Happiness

Somehow in the hustle and bustle of getting ready for baby, I never got around to posting pictures from our wonderful shower! We had originally planned on having it at the youth building at church, but after the great blood clot debacle of 2010 we did not know if and when I would be back on my feet. So... we moved it to our house just in case I was still on bed rest! The good news is that I was up and moving at 100% by then, but we just decided to keep it here as to not change the location again. Let me just say that having a house full of 50+ women was more fun and special than I could ever imagine! It was a day full of smiles, laughter, games, great food, and more love than Josh or I even knew what to do with. Our Crossroads family has become the biggest blessing and has exceeded our wildest expectations. For as much as we (and by 'we' I mostly mean 'Josh') put into this ministry in terms of time, relationship building, and love, we are rewarded ten-fold. Small Town, Illinois truly is home and this baby has more women vying for his attention then he's going to know what to do with! Thank you to all of our Morrison Crossroads family for an incredible day and for all of the gifts! After the shower we are officially stocked and as ready as we're going to be! Now all we need is baby!

The "spread"... yummy!

Thanks to Deb for my amazing monkey cakes!

GIFT TIME! I loved these handmade booties!

I clearly have a few things to learn about mommyhood. I seem to be perplexed by this rubber ducky! We're in trouble.

The gift we've been waiting for! THANK YOU, Connie, for the incredible quilt. It turned out so beautiful and this will be in the family forever! This one got a round of applause when I opened it.

Seriously? Is my belly really THAT BIG???

Yeah okay, maybe it is. Someone needs to lay off the cupcakes!

The cameraman and his apprentice. Josh loved having a houseful of women!

Thanks to my fabulous hostesses! Katie... you're next!

Alright Jake, we're just waiting on you now, buddy!

The Power of Prayer

I can attest to the power of prayer. Three weeks ago I was laying in a hospital bed being pumped with blood thinners and scared out of my mind. Josh had seen the size of the blood clot on the ultrasound screen and from the look on his face, I could tell he was incredibly worried. When his eyes welled up with tears I shot a fierce look at him and said, "Don't you do that. Don't you start," because I knew that he had to be strong enough for both (well, the three) of us. He held it together and after staying a few nights we were released with a lot of questions. On that day, I was pushed to the car in a wheelchair. When I was at home, I used my husband as a crutch to get from point A to point B. When I sat in the recliner or on the couch, I could only lay on my side as that was the only position where I could find a little bit of relief from the pain. I watched as people helped out around the clock, making meals and cleaning our house. But since the moment we found out something was wrong, people prayed.

When I tell you that people prayed, I need to define exactly how many people we had praying for us. As a pastor, Josh is in touch with a large network of people and is quick to get information out. On top of that, our families were praying over us, friends that we hadn't seen in years were praying for us, and emails came in from people we had never even met. In the hospital and over the phone we had elders from our church and good friends gather around us and pray... it was humbling and comforting and something I will treasure always. Although I will never know for sure of course, during these past few weeks I think I have had more people pray over me and my family than any other time in my life. How is that for overwhelming?

Yesterday we had an appointment with our wonderful Baby Doc and I waltzed into his office without a wheelchair. I laid flat on my back for an ultrasound and did not even feel a hint of an ache in my left leg. I listened as he told me that our baby looks perfect, has not been affected from the medications, and is in the 85th percentile for weight already. And then he looked at me and said, "I cannot believe how well you're up and moving around. The last time I saw you, you needed a wheelchair." When I heard this, I realized that even though he had told us this would eventually happen, even he did not think it would happen this fast. Our Baby Doc is a man of God and did not doubt that I would get better, but his medical mind told him that it would take longer. And even though this does not mean that the clot has completely dissolved (but then again, it also doesn't mean that it miraculously hasn't!), it does show that I have experienced an incredible amount of healing in an incredibly short amount of time. And oh how I will not take that for granted for I know that this gift has come from above. He heard your prayers, and He answered them. When I left the office I had an extra spring in my step for I was told that I could resume my normal activities and even work out if I felt up to it. The risk of this thing moving into my heart or lungs is so very minimal that our fears have been alleviated. I am still on schedule to be induced at 39 weeks due to the fact that I have to stop taking blood thinners first, but oh how grateful I am that this is all behind us. The road ahead is now filled with the joy of our impending baby's arrival... how great is that?

Prayer has been on my heart a lot lately, which is probably why I felt the need to do an entire posting on it. Our church just finished 21 days of prayer and fasting, and while I am ashamed to admit that I did not pray more than usual, I have been hearing God speak to me more than ever. Some folks would read the story above and give the credit to luck or modern medicine, but I know better. There are too many stories and too many "coincidences" in life that are linked to prayer. When my aunt was sick this past fall with carcinoma meningitis and we thought we'd lose her, our whole family and this town I live in prayed. Although she is not 100%, we're so blessed to still have her and she gets stronger everyday. She's beating the odds. When a man from our campus was in a snowmobile accident and they said he'd never make it, those warriors prayed, and he's now moving to a rehabilitation facility after several successful surgeries. The list goes on and on. I don't know about you, but it sounds a lot like cause and effect to me... prayer equals results, even when the results are not what we expect.

Even as I write this, I have to confess that I do not spend nearly enough time in prayer. The Bible tells us to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17), but more often than not I put it off until the end of the day when I have no energy left. No energy to talk to God? How sad is that? But even though we're taught to close our eyes and bow our heads, prayer is more than that- it's a conversation with the Maker, and it can be done no matter where you are or what you're doing. Back in the days when I had an hour-long commute, I would find myself talking out loud, as if Jesus himself was in the seat next to me, and it was such a great way to work things out in my mind and free myself of worry. Just speaking the words out loud allowed me to really connect in a way that I couldn't do when I was just silently saying them to myself. And then my husband taught me that prayer is not juts a one-way call, and that God wants us to open the door of communication by opening up His words, which are found in the Bible. Of course my first thought was, but what in the world am I supposed to read? Where am I supposed to start? So I started (slowly) in Matthew and moved on to Mark. Halfway through Mark I read something interesting about Ruth, which led me to read Ruth. When I was done with Ruth I felt compelled to read about Jacob, since that will be the name of our son and found myself in Genesis. I wasn't even through with his story when I was led to open up James, only to find that I must've read it some time ago considering that it had been marked up and underlined. The book of James mentions Job, so that's where I'm going next. Each time I open up those words, if I really open my mind to them and ask Him to reveal something new, I never go hungry. I walk away each time with something profound to think about and a desire to read something else, wherever that may be. My list now includes Esther and Hebrews, 1 Peter and Job... and although there does not seem to be a rhyme or reason to my reading patterns, He always knows where to take me. So if you feel like me and don't know where to start, just start. Just open it up and see what you'll find. Read it slowly and read the footnotes, write in your Bible and earmark things. And even if it doesn't happen right away, don't give up on it. The Gospels are a great place to start, but if you really just want to say you finished a chapter, start with one of Paul's letters in the new testament such as Ephesians or Galatians. Spending time in the word will enrich your life in ways that nothing else can, and all it takes is the time to open the book. It really is that easy.

Have you ever stopped and thought about who might be praying for you? What do you think that they are praying for? For you to find Jesus? For you to find a new job, a spouse, the child that you feel like you'll never have? We were at a church event about a month ago and our lead pastor said, "Every one of you is here tonight because someone prayed you in." WOW. As I look back on my life, on the poor decisions that I made and the road that did not remotely travel straight, there is no part of me that can take any credit for where I am today. I married a pastor- me! The most unlikely candidate in the world. And I know without a doubt that someone, somewhere (or multiple someones somewhere) prayed for me during those years that I wandered astray. And whoever you are, I thank you, for my life is rich with blessings and overflows with joy living in this light. And I want that for everyone. The more I am blessed, the more I am burdened for those who are wandering far from this path. A question we ask almost every Sunday to our congregation is whether we know someone close to us who is far from God. Yes! We all have those people. So what can we do? We can pray. Pray them in. If you do nothing else, you can do that. And prayer works... just wait and see.

Okay, so I was not planning on getting this lengthy, but like I said, this has been heavy on my heart and I had to share. I challenge you to work on your prayer life, and as I say this I am taking the same challenge. Approach things with prayer instead of taking your own way and wait and see what happens. If something you have been working toward has been difficult, whether it be a relationship or friendship, a search for a church family, or a big life change, consider that maybe you are taking your own way instead of God's way and ask him repeatedly (without ceasing) to help you find the way. The right path will be easy- He will make sure of it. Granted, you might end up in Small Town, Illinois freezing your buns off, but things will fall into place in a way that will prove to you it was His will and not yours. And that's a beautiful thing.

"Are any of you suffering hardships? You should pray. Are any of you happy? Your should sing praises. Are any of you sick? You should call for the elders of the church to come and pray over you, anointing you with oil in the name of the Lord. Such a prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make you will. And if you have committed any sins, you will be forgiven. Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great powers and produces wonderful results." My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins."

~James 5:13-16, 19-20

Progress

Slowly but surely things are looking up around here after last week. At this time last week, I could not walk without help and could only lay on one side or another to relieve the pressure in my leg. Fast forward to now and I am up and walking around the house (although getting scolded a lot because I'm doing more than I should be!), feeling very little pain, and handling the twice-daily shots like a champ. That, however, I do owe to Josh as he's become quite the pro at them these days... it's just a normal part of our everyday routine. I've had a couple of "guest nurses" on the nights that he has had to work and they've been fabulous, too! Everyone is a little nervous at first, but so far I have successfully received every one of them. In a few weeks I will switch from my current shots (Lovenox) to Heparin shots because they can be reversed much more quickly in the event that I should go into labor early. Then once they set my date to me induced, they will stop all shots 48 hours before that and we should be good to go! We haven't been given that date yet, but from what they tell us it should only be about 6 1/2 more short weeks. The countdown has officially begun!

As for the bambino, he's just rockin' and rollin' in there... life is good for him! We had our second appointment with the new baby doc (again... LOVE him!) today and Jake checked out perfectly. Each week we will have an ultrasound and I will be on a fetal monitor for 20 minutes to monitor his heartbeat and make sure that I'm not having any contractions. Now that he's so big, the ultrasounds are awesome... we can see him in much more detail and he looks beautiful. He has a full head of hair apparently and is head-down and ready to make his debut. The only slightly scary part is that at 32 weeks he is weighing in at about 4 pounds, 10 ounces, which is about the 71st percentile. We're growing a monster baby! But the good news is that we won't have to worry about any issues with birth weight, but that's not entirely reassuring news for a woman who has never had to give birth before!

So that's the update... not a whole lot to report really. As I keep saying (and will continue to do so), thank you all for your continued calls and prayers. Although I don't know what the clot looks like these days or if it has started to break down, I do know that prayers are working. Just having no more pain and swelling in that leg has been a blessing in itself and I am so thankful that God has given me the ability to walk. We take so much for granted and don't even realize it until it's taken away. I also know that there are blessings in everything. Over this past week I've had someone here with me everyday from our church family and the time of fellowship has been rich and impacting. These are people that I normally do not get to spend much time with and have now developed a strong foundation for us to build on, and I would not trade that for the world. If God can use a blood clot to do that, He can use anything for His good. There are always blessings in the storm, but sometimes we forget to look for them. And since it's been awhile since I left you with any pictures (because there has been nothing of note to photograph!), here are a couple to tie you over until our lives become more interesting:

My view from bed rest... could be worse I guess!

Our handsome little man at 32 weeks... I just want to squeeze him!

A birthday to remember

Wow... where to start? Before I get into how our weekend went, I just want to preface this by saying that this post will probably be LONG. And possibly a bit scatterbrained. Beyond that, I also want to thank everyone for their prayers, support, and love over these past few days. They were definitely tough, but Josh and I feel so incredibly loved and cared for that there are far more blessings in our lives than we deserve. Each and every one of you has touched our lives with your prayers and yesterday I told Josh that this was probably the most people I've ever had praying for me at one time. That, regardless of the circumstances, was the best birthday gift I could ever ask for. It is so much more than I deserve. So thank you... I will never be able to say it enough.

So now onto the update of the weekend. Honestly, to tell the full story, I would have to start earlier in the week, although I'm not sure what day it all began. Early last week I started having mild pain in my inner, left thigh. I told Josh that I thought maybe I had pulled a muscle, but I could not figure out when I would have done that. As the pain got worse, I also considered (as mentioned in my last post) that perhaps little Jake had positioned himself on my sciatic nerve. Whatever it was, it hurt. And as the week went on, it got worse. Thinking it was one of the scenarios above, I tried all that I could to make the pain go away. I went to the gym, I stretched, and I went on a shopping trip with a girlfriend of mine to "work out the muscle" and get my blood pumping. Just in case it was more nerve-related, I saw a chiropractor for an adjustment. Nothing seemed to be working and by Thursday, I started developing a limp and noticed that my left knee was a bit swollen. I decided that it could be due to overcompensating for my sore thigh. For the most part, I just had a dull ache that was annoying, but tolerable. But by Saturday morning, I dreaded any activity to get from point A to point B. Just going upstairs to take a shower and get dressed seemed like climbing Mt. Everest and I was desperate for a reason as to why I still hurt.

Saturday night rolled around and Josh and I left for church as we normally do. Before we left, he asked if I would prefer to stay home, but I told him that I didn't want to miss church and would just take it easy once I got there. On the way there, he had me call both a nurse and our doctor to see if they had any ideas as to what might be going on. Both of them mentioned blood clots during their calls, but the pain in my inner thigh was what was throwing them off. Neither one of them had ever heard of that symptom for anything pregnancy related, and when I pulled my toe back toward my shin (which is a common test for a blood clot apparently), I felt no pain. Both of them recommended that I keep an eye on it, and if it swelled anymore or became red or hot to the touch, I would need to go to the ER. Otherwise, I could wait until my appointment on Monday. The two of us carried on our merry way and got through the service as usual. I stayed seated as much as possible and only limped around if I had somewhere specific to go. Something was clearly not right. As we drove home, Josh told me that we were going to the hospital. I didn't want to feel like I was overreacting so I told him that we could wait and see how things were in the morning. Lucky for me, my husband overrode that decision and told me that we were going no matter what. He said that the best case scenario would be that I had pulled a muscle and they'd tell us to go home. I am so thankful he didn't listen to me!

The nice part about living in Small Town, Illinois is that hospital visits do not require a ton of waiting. I literally walked in and sat down at registration and by the time Josh had parked the car and met me inside, I was ready to be wheeled to a room. After routine questions, vitals were checked, and my leg was looked at, they told us that we would have an ultrasound to check for a blood clot. As they put it, they'd like to "rule out" a blood clot before going any further. We were wheeled into the ultrasound room and the technician started checking it out. It was a little strange to be in an ultrasound room and not looking at the baby (we really did want to take a peek at our little man!) but it was also very scary. She checked the usual places for a blood clot, but did not find anything until she got up to where the pain was. At that time, what she saw was not good. Josh was able to look at the screen with her as she pointed out everything, but all I could see was their faces. Apparently, the clot she found had grown to the point that it is more like a "worm" as she called it, and filled up a long portion of the vein in my upper thigh. Deep vein thrombosis, or DVT, is the technical term for the condition and it can be brought on by many reasons. Some people have blood that is just more prone to clots, some have a genetic predisposition to clots, some are pregnancy-related, and some are due to long travel or inactivity. They did not try to speculate what mine was caused by entirely as they will eventually do a complete blood workout to learn more. The good news was that the clot was not affecting the baby and his blood supply was good. In fact, he had no idea that anything abnormal was going on out here. Lucky dude.

That night was a tough one for the both of us. We had very little information beyond what I just told you, but we also got the rundown on the worst case scenarios. We heard everything from "she'll be here in the hospital until the baby comes" to "she'll be on thinners that will prevent her from nursing the baby" and also learned about the fear of a clot dislodging and going straight to the heart and the lungs. Clearly the doctors were on edge about the situation, which made us even more nervous. I was immediately hooked up to an IV of the blood thinner heparin and would need to have blood drawn every 4 hours as they adjusted the levels to make my blood the right consistency. Since the blood is much thicker during pregnancy, mine needed quite a few adjustments to make sure the blood would be thin enough to go around the clot and not push on it at all. As long as blood flows around it, it cannot grow larger and the risk of it dislodging decrease quite a bit. Between the nurses checking my vitals, the lab techs drawing blood, and the fear and nerves, Josh and I barely slept at all. It was a very long night and I was so thankful to see daylight the next morning, even though we were both exhausted.

Sunday morning (my birthday!) Josh went to church as I insisted that I would be fine by myself for the few hours that he would be gone. I had planned to sleep while he was away but I was still very restless. Josh was preaching this week and I knew that he had so much on his mind and I so badly wanted to be there. As ten o'clock approached, I found myself in prayer, sending my love and support to him the only way that I knew how. Through this entire process, he has been a rock and has held me together when everything seemed to be so unclear. I would not have made it through this without him and spent much time thanking God for putting him at my side. During that quiet time, I definitely did not feel alone and much of my fear about the unknown subsided, so in many ways, I am grateful that he went. Both of us took the time apart to get all of our worries out of our systems and I later heard from many folks that it was the most powerful church service they had ever been to. Josh hadn't planned on sharing everything that was going on, but as soon as he was up in front of the congregation, he just lost it. He told everyone what was happening, the church prayed over me, and he delivered a "home run" as I was told later. As bummed as I still am to miss one of the best messages he has ever delivered, I am humbled to know that God used our situation for the building of His kingdom. God can truly take any bad situation and use it for good, and if even one person came to Christ by attending that service, then my hospital stay was worth it. And it is a wonderful thing to have a strong faith that allows us to see the upside to all of this, and there are many upsides for sure.

The day went on with the continued monitoring, but we had an overwhelming amount of visitors and phone calls. Folks from the church brought birthday cupcakes and goodies, balloons and flowers, birthday gifts, magazines, books, and wonderful company. The day flew by as we sat and spent some quality time with people that we don't get to spend enough time with, and that was a nice treat. We really did not learn much that day, but we did know that there was a chance that we would be discharged the next day so we were hopeful for the possibility.

The second night went very much like the first, but I slept much more due to the exhaustion that had set in. I was a zombie by bedtime and the frequent interruptions did not bother me as much. Regardless, we were still both awake very early as our accommodations were not the most comfortable or quiet. The good news was that starting at 9 AM, our first visitor arrived, and we had someone with us all day until we got to go home. Danny, a nurse at our church, stuck around until we were discharged so that she could take notes and make sure the doctors answered all of our questions before we left. She is heaven-sent and we are so grateful to be surrounded by people who are willing to be there for us. Somebody throughout the day mentioned that it must be hard being in the hospital when our family was so far away, but I told her that we felt like our family was here. Again, for those of you who visited, and even those of you who just sent an email, text, or Facebook message, you have no idea how much the support meant to us. You truly got us through these past few days.

So what's next you may wonder? Honestly, we have an idea, but there are still a lot of questions to be answered. As of now, we are home and I will continue to be on blood thinners for the duration of my pregnancy. The safest form for the baby is an injection that I will have to take every 12 hours for the next 8 weeks. I think Dr. Josh is looking forward to his first injection tomorrow morning and although it's not ideal, I can handle shots for awhile if that is what is safest for our baby and me. Obviously, the doctors will not want me on blood thinners when I deliver, so the plan is for me to stop the drugs 48 hours before a scheduled induction so that my blood will have plenty of time to thicken up before labor. I probably will not go to 40 weeks to reduce the risk of the baby coming early before I can get the thinners out of my system. I am also on bedrest, but we are still unclear as to how long and to what extent that will be, although my mobility hinders me from getting up and around anyway. We go to our OB tomorrow, and these are the details that we will discuss and have more answers on after that appointment. Labor and delivery (the original plan versus the plan from here on out) probably requires its own post anyway, so after the appointment when we have more information, I will post another update. In the meantime, Josh, Baby Jake, and I are all tired but stable and extremely happy to be home. We thank you all for your continued support as we learn more information and navigate this process that gets our son here safely. I will certainly share information as I get it to keep you all in the loop.

But for now, there is nothing like being home and in our own bed. A good night sleep sounds like what the doctor ordered!

A Good Year

With each passing year, life just seems to get sweeter and sweeter. Honestly, I think that the sweetness factor is owed mostly in part to a deepening faith and relationship with Jesus Christ and a partnership with a man that I love, respect, and just like to hang out with. This past year has been the best so far in my life, and it sure has been one wild ride! In my lifetime, very few years will rival the action packed twists and turns of 2009... but that's what made it so very special! So here's to 2009... and to the many sweet moments:

We rang in the new year in sunny Florida surrounded by family and loved ones...

Then conquered a marathon, finishing side by side after 26.2 long miles.

We said our goodbyes to a beloved member of our family, but it gave us the opportunity to spend time with those loved ones we don't see often enough.


We had some fantastic weekends and times away in cities far from home...

And then spent the spring busy with wedding plans and festivities.

We said our "I Do's" and vowed to love each other for the rest of our lives on a most perfect summer day in June...

And (barely) squeezed in a romantic mini-honeymoon before...

Packing up our belongings and making the long trek to Illinois.


We successfully purchased our first home and fell in love with every nook and cranny...

And even loved the nooks and crannies that needed updating (which we've done a lot of).

We learned that life in Small Town, Illinois is a life that we absolutely love and met some of the most genuine, kind, and caring people in this world.

We celebrated as our campus of Crossroads Community Church opened its doors and continued to grow and blossom...

And celebrated God's glory as Josh baptized his wife. We continued (and still do) to deepen our individual faith as we thank God daily for His gift of marriage.

We experienced the excitement, shock, and bewilderment of some unexpected news and prepared ourselves to bring a new life into this world.

Several visitors made their way to Small Town, Illinois and gave us the opportunity to show off our new town and open our home to friends and family (feel free to continue that trend!)...

And FINALLY got the exciting news that our new arrival would be a baby boy, which was music to our ears as we both had a feeling all along.

We learned that home is where the heart is and hosted our first family holiday at Thanksgiving, serving dinner for 10 of our favorite people...

and survived our first (of many) snowfall.

And as icing on the cake, we spent Christmas in our new home with just the two (or three!) of us, truly being thankful that this is the life that we live.

What a year of many, many blessings. It is by far one that we will never forget as we have learned a lot, experienced so much, and adapted to whatever came our way. I know that throughout our marriage and life together, things will not always be so easy, but I know that we will always have more blessings than we know what to do with and for that I am thankful. So as we say goodbye to 2009, we celebrate the times that we had and look forward to the adventure to come in the new year. Happy New Year to you and your family, and may you have more laughter than tears, hope than doubt, and more blessings bestowed upon you than you even know what to do with. We love you all and look forward to all that is to come!

Mauneyland's First Christmas

Christmas in Mauneyland came and went, but it seemed to be more of a week-long event this year than just a day. Instead of recapping the entire week, I think it might be easier to just hit the highlights.

With Christmas Eve came our little church's very first Christmas Eve service (actually two) and we saw a great attendance of 400 people... not bad for a campus that has been around for only three months! God is oh so good to us! The service was incredibly moving and one of my favorite gifts is seeing my husband doing what he loves and what he was made to do. The service was topped off by singing "Silent Night" by candlelight, which is always my favorite part (isn't it everyone's?). It was perfect.

When we got home, we had our second annual exchange of pajamas in which Josh gave me the most comfortable (yet super cute) maternity pj's that say "Baby Love" on the front and I gave him pj pants that match a sleeper for our sweet Baby Jake. We just need baby here to match them up together... I'm sure there will be a picture of that on here in the future!

After a good nights's sleep, we woke up to find that Santa had come indeed and filled our stockings! Even Jake's little teeny tiny stocking had a few surprises in it as well as PLENTY of loot that did not fit inside.

We leisurely swapped gifts and opened some from the family. I was particularly fond of the monkey hooded towel from my aunt for our little monkey on the way.

Josh and I both decided that we really did not need anything this year as we've been so blessed, so we were so very thankful for our many gifts. He oohed and ahhed over his new down vest and Craftsman toolbox and I have a beautiful new diaper bag to fill as well as some other fun toys and trinkets, too!


Even the pups were spoiled (as usual) and Minnie even opened her own gifts from her cousin Rascal. We did make the mistake of not paying close attention and she ended up eating most of the bag it was wrapped in, too! At the end of the festivities, we could not decide who did better: the dogs (who got a very expensive and labor intensive fence) or Baby Jake, who isn't even here yet. Either way, we enjoyed our first Christmas where we were able to spoil all of our kids!

After a day of doing absolutely NOTHING (which was probably our favorite gift to be honest), we set the table for two and enjoyed our very last quiet Christmas dinner together. Next year there will be a high chair in this picture and possibly some food items flung across the room... but oh how we can't wait! And what you can't tell from here is that we were still in our pajamas when dinnertime rolled around... absolute bliss!
After a yummy meal and six or seven movies, we turned in for the night, geared up for our weekend services at Crossroads. Even though the 25th had already passed, I spent the next morning trying my hand at frosted Christmas cookies for church that weekend. Although they were not quite up to par with my dear friend, Cookie Chick, they were well received. I'm not planning on dropping everything anytime soon to pursue a cookie career though!


After church, Josh and I took a drive around town to admire God's gift to our town... the whitest, fluffiest, most pristine blanket of snow all across the Midwest. With blue skies and shiny white landscape, the world truly looked peaceful and perfect.

With another successful weekend behind us, we left the weather above and boarded a plane for sunny Florida to celebrate Christmas Part II with the family (which will be a separate post that I will get around to eventually!). Actually, the blogging hiatus is partially do to the fact that we are in Florida as I type this and let's just say that blogging does not take priority on this relaxing getaway! Instead we are enjoying time spent with family, warm weather, and quality time with one another. It does not get much better than that.

From our house to yours, we do hope that you had a spectacular holiday season filled with many blessings. God bless you all and we'll see you back in Mauneyland soon!